Is it a aspie thing to get upset over a little thing?

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Avarice
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07 Apr 2010, 5:05 am

superboyian wrote:
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I get very upset over small things, sometimes I want to throw a fit and throw something when eating dinner with family because I can hear chewing.

My computer irritates me, people irritate me, everything irritates me.


The part of the quote in bold is currently the thing that is irritating me right now.


Same with me, the C key is broken and I'm holding it in with sticky tape.



League_Girl
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07 Apr 2010, 7:04 am

I knew an aspie who get upset with the computer he hit it and slap it, his parents had notes all over the keyboard and monitor telling him to take deep breaths, count in his head, do not hit the computer. I didn't even know he had so much anger until I went to his house. At my house, he was all calm and seemed normal but at his house he was a different person. :?



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07 Apr 2010, 8:51 am

Hmmm ... I must be on a different planet (there's a revelation!), because I've always observed that NT people get upset over little things far more than I do. People used to comment on how calm I seemed when things were falling apart all around us.

I'm not going to say I've never cursed at the computer, but that was only because it was intentionally thwarting me. Most of the time, however, I was able to bring it back in line with a few well-placed curses.



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07 Apr 2010, 11:21 am

The small thing that bugs me, is that my apartment isn't tidy enough, according to my mum's standards, even though I'm doing my best to keep it, as tidy as it is, without the energy drinks. My mum thinks that everybody with a vagina should enjoy doing house work, and have perfect, spotless and tidy homes, with every thing just so so, and perfect, like a Stepford Wife. I don't want her walking into my apartment, ever again.


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Jaydee
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07 Apr 2010, 11:41 am

Well, according to research on AS which I've read, yes, it is an AS trait to become easily upset. I have an aspie friend who's extremely vulnerable to comments from people (she perceives almost any feedback to be unwarranted criticism directed solely at her), and becomes very hurt and upset. At the same time she's frightfully blunt in her comments to people around her, so people perceive her as very rude. Which in turn may cause them to tell her to keep her comments to herself. Which upsets her. It becomes something of a negative cycle for her. :(



superboyian
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07 Apr 2010, 2:07 pm

Jaydee wrote:
Well, according to research on AS which I've read, yes, it is an AS trait to become easily upset. I have an aspie friend who's extremely vulnerable to comments from people (she perceives almost any feedback to be unwarranted criticism directed solely at her), and becomes very hurt and upset. At the same time she's frightfully blunt in her comments to people around her, so people perceive her as very rude. Which in turn may cause them to tell her to keep her comments to herself. Which upsets her. It becomes something of a negative cycle for her. :(


I used to be like that back in the days... I eventually developed a thicker skin for myself but also occasionally make a joke out of it and I've found that it actually worked too. :D


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howzat
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07 Apr 2010, 3:09 pm

I do get upset because i don't like making mistakes at all.



League_Girl
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07 Apr 2010, 6:57 pm

superboyian wrote:
Jaydee wrote:
Well, according to research on AS which I've read, yes, it is an AS trait to become easily upset. I have an aspie friend who's extremely vulnerable to comments from people (she perceives almost any feedback to be unwarranted criticism directed solely at her), and becomes very hurt and upset. At the same time she's frightfully blunt in her comments to people around her, so people perceive her as very rude. Which in turn may cause them to tell her to keep her comments to herself. Which upsets her. It becomes something of a negative cycle for her. :(


I used to be like that back in the days... I eventually developed a thicker skin for myself but also occasionally make a joke out of it and I've found that it actually worked too. :D




I was very emotional when I was 12 because my family had to be careful what they said to me. Anything would put me in tears. Then when I was 13, I was finally put on birth control and that helped a lot. I was less sensitive and it was a lot easier for my family and me. I was no longer so much of a drama queen. I think that's what I think lot of aspies are.



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07 Apr 2010, 7:02 pm

I had sort of a meltdown just earlier because one of my online friends wouldn't answer a question and I had to keep asking and asking till I got it. It was so annoying. He then asked me why was I so impatient. I shouldn't wait five minutes for an answer. He claimed he is always busy. Don't IM me then if you are and it takes no more than a few second to answer a simple question. Seesh. :roll:

I once blocked a 16 year old out of the UK because of this. Take like 20 minutes to respond after he IM me. I don't take this crap. Yes I even till tell him how it's annoying when people do this to me and did he stop? No. So I blocked him. I once made a thread about it here ranting about it and I showed it to him.



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07 Apr 2010, 7:14 pm

I get upset over lots of small things... but I think a lot of the time, it's over a million other small things that have happened throughout the course of the day as well.

For instance, my bf and I just got into an argument the other night. He was talking about a TV show I'm watching and catching up on, and he said something like "oh, just wait... it's going to get better". I said, "yeah...". I thought it was something really obvious that it was going to get better, since I'm only on the second season and there are 3 others left to go (at least, I think 3). Considering it has a ton of fans, still, I assumed it was going to get better.

He got all mad about it and started interrogating basically, about why I would respond that way, and that it wasn't something that would be obvious to everyone, etc. I just listened and tried to explain, but then he said something that really set me off.

"None of the other people I talk to would have responded that way..."

I lost it. I hate when I know I have trouble with something, and wind up being compared to everyone else over it.

But it wasn't just that that set me off... it was everything from the start of the conversation up until that point, which I thought I was handling really well, and I didn't think it was bothering me one bit.


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07 Apr 2010, 7:56 pm

anxiety25 wrote:
I get upset over lots of small things... but I think a lot of the time, it's over a million other small things that have happened throughout the course of the day as well.

For instance, my bf and I just got into an argument the other night. He was talking about a TV show I'm watching and catching up on, and he said something like "oh, just wait... it's going to get better". I said, "yeah...". I thought it was something really obvious that it was going to get better, since I'm only on the second season and there are 3 others left to go (at least, I think 3). Considering it has a ton of fans, still, I assumed it was going to get better.

He got all mad about it and started interrogating basically, about why I would respond that way, and that it wasn't something that would be obvious to everyone, etc. I just listened and tried to explain, but then he said something that really set me off.

"None of the other people I talk to would have responded that way..."

I lost it. I hate when I know I have trouble with something, and wind up being compared to everyone else over it.

But it wasn't just that that set me off... it was everything from the start of the conversation up until that point, which I thought I was handling really well, and I didn't think it was bothering me one bit.




Honestly I don't understand why you bf got upset over a little thing. You said "yeah." So what. It doesn't look like to me it's worth getting upset over. Is he aspie too by any chance?



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07 Apr 2010, 8:02 pm

It's an oversensitivity thing. Both AS and NT's are guilty of it. My mum, sisters and brother, who are all NT get really upset over things that wouldn't bother me at all. I think with me I get stuck on the details and usually things that upset me are peoples assumptions, the latest one being people still think ADHD is caused by bad parenting which is just the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Or someone making false assumptions about me.
I don't let things bother me as much. If I'm upset and it's really getting to me I'll try to forget about it. This is when social interaction is a good thing because it distracts me from my thoughts.


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anxiety25
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08 Apr 2010, 12:31 am

League_Girl wrote:
anxiety25 wrote:
I get upset over lots of small things... but I think a lot of the time, it's over a million other small things that have happened throughout the course of the day as well.

For instance, my bf and I just got into an argument the other night. He was talking about a TV show I'm watching and catching up on, and he said something like "oh, just wait... it's going to get better". I said, "yeah...". I thought it was something really obvious that it was going to get better, since I'm only on the second season and there are 3 others left to go (at least, I think 3). Considering it has a ton of fans, still, I assumed it was going to get better.

He got all mad about it and started interrogating basically, about why I would respond that way, and that it wasn't something that would be obvious to everyone, etc. I just listened and tried to explain, but then he said something that really set me off.

"None of the other people I talk to would have responded that way..."

I lost it. I hate when I know I have trouble with something, and wind up being compared to everyone else over it.

But it wasn't just that that set me off... it was everything from the start of the conversation up until that point, which I thought I was handling really well, and I didn't think it was bothering me one bit.




Honestly I don't understand why you bf got upset over a little thing. You said "yeah." So what. It doesn't look like to me it's worth getting upset over. Is he aspie too by any chance?


I've wondered... many many times, lol. He said the reason it bothered him is because the way I said "yeah" sounded the way people say "duh"... then he started talking about how I must think he's stupid and went on this long rant about it, lol. I told him, yes, that is kind of how I meant it (just the "duh" part, because it was blindingly obvious to me), but he was the one reading into it to come up with all of these other things.

Apparently, according to him, other people would not just act like it was obvious, even if it was. They would be able to tell he was excited about me getting caught up on the seasons, and would be happy/excited in their responses as well. But in my mind, it kind of went like this: "well of course it's going to get better... it's not like I haven't realized that" and verbal tone showed it clearly apparently, haha.

So I demonstrated how it would sound if I were to fake that I was excited about something that I'm not really all that excited about, and we both decided that wasn't going to work, haha. It didn't go well.


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08 Apr 2010, 6:52 am

I get upset over little things. They bewilder me, and preoccupy me. I have to figure them out, so I either do, or I don't, in which case I don't deal with them. That part tends to upset people, and they don't see it coming, because they take me for granted.

On the other hand, I also don't get upset over other things. I can avoid getting upset about things that are potentially upsetting if I have figured out what's real and what's not and I have understood it and have not been misled by flawed information. Misinforming me, by lies or omissions, is like gagging a normal person. There's no such thing here as telling her 'on a need-to-know basis' or 'what she doesn't know won't hurt her'. I use information the way a blind person uses Braille. It cannot be misleading or I will topple over.

A most upsetting thing which can sometimes seem minor to others if I should happen to mention it is if I have made a huge, huge effort to ask for something to be different than what it is, ie something bothers me enough that I a) find words to express it b) make the effort to express them c) trust the other person enough to expect them to care and listen to me, and then they ignore me. This is excruciatingly painful, and the pain of it is added on top of the original grievance, which was painful enough to begin with for me to try to address it.

FOR THIS REASON I RESERVE THE RIGHT NOT TO SPEAK. If they have the right to talk trash at every turn and at anyone's expense then I have the right to keep my careful, thoughtful words to myself.

Enough said. This has been a bit of a rant.



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08 Apr 2010, 7:56 am

I've seen NTs get upset over the little things too.

They just have their own idea of what is considered a little thing though but from my perspective they tend to complain about ridiculous things.

And they're far more vocal about it than we are.



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08 Apr 2010, 8:53 am

One of the things that used to annoy me and get me upset is when my instant messenger's stops working and unfortunately my AIM wasn't working very well last night, it was refusing to sign me in and everything and I just updated the blooming thing and that would used to make me cry. :lol:

Now I realise, oh... maybe it's probably just a one off? Is it?


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