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Aspie + Aspie = Greater Chance of _____ (compared to Aspie +NT)
Failure 12%  12%  [ 7 ]
Success 34%  34%  [ 20 ]
Equivalency 53%  53%  [ 31 ]
Total votes : 58

mnemonic
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07 Apr 2010, 1:00 pm

any aspies out there dating each other find communication/intimacy/etc even harder than when dating an nt? or is it actually easier for some of you?



League_Girl
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07 Apr 2010, 1:07 pm

I dated an aspie and it was a failure. He was too bigoted and narrow minded, too stupid, never listened. I couldn't educate him. He also acted like I was ret*d and he was very judgmental.



TallyMan
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07 Apr 2010, 1:08 pm

My wife isn't aspie but she isn't fully NT either. This seems to mean we both prefer a quiet life with no emotional drama in it, so there isn't much falling out over things. So I'd think aspie + aspie is likely to be more successful than Aspie + NT.


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Vince
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07 Apr 2010, 1:28 pm

No fail. I love my Steffy, and we understand eachother quite well.


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Moog
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07 Apr 2010, 1:41 pm

No, this is not necessarily true.


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jc6chan
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07 Apr 2010, 1:58 pm

Oh, I didn't read the question before I voted. I didn't know this was about dating. I never dated before but I would think that its about the same overall. Aspies with totally different interests can cause problems.



DarthMetaKnight
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07 Apr 2010, 2:20 pm

I've never been on a date, but I've tried my luck with talking to girls from time to time. The only time the conversation ever seemed to get anywhere was when the girl was a wierdo and seemed to have autie traits.

When I see threads like this it scares me because I don't want WrongPlanet members to start hating themselves and each other.



Giftorcurse
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07 Apr 2010, 2:22 pm

What's funny is that all the girls I fall for are idiots. For example, my ex-girlfriend was a stoner.


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07 Apr 2010, 2:25 pm

I'm going out with an aspie and so far, it seems it's STILL working :D so it didn't fail for me and again, it depends on you and the other person (aspie) if you get on with each other or not.

I've seen a few successful aspie relationships here, some even gotten married through WP believe it or not so its not always the case it will fail. Some days it will succeed, also the relationship is a two way thing, if it doesn't work out, then obviously that's when you announce this. FAILED! :wink:


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SabbraCadabra
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07 Apr 2010, 2:32 pm

I once dated a girl who thinks she might possibly have AS. It worked out fairly well, but sometimes it was kind of hard to talk with her in person.


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happymusic
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07 Apr 2010, 10:49 pm

I :heart: Aspies.



Mikelight
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07 Apr 2010, 10:57 pm

Never dated one, but i'll let you know when I do.



MissConstrue
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08 Apr 2010, 1:53 am

Depends on the person not the symptom exactly imo.

Though I've never dated an aspie, I've encountered many personalities online that don't match a specific "trait". I've found a good many to be understanding in my quirks with communication. That is one thing I like about some yet again there are those just like NTs who are narrow minded and for some reason or another cannot think outside the box or engage in a level where it isn't just about themselves. I'm really guilty of it myself, I think this is where "mind blindness" comes in and where negative assumptions are made. It's easy to get in that negative mind set and assume the worse without using theory of mind.

With NTs it's the same except I've noticed when it comes to communication mine seems to be more intense with people on the spectrum than those who are not. I'm not exactly sure why this is or if it's all in my head like the placebo effect.


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09 Apr 2010, 8:49 pm

i think aspie + aspie will get you extreme success or massive failure. It'll be intense either way.



Hector
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09 Apr 2010, 9:28 pm

Why would the answer to your question matter? It's not as if you should put the results to any use; "I believe that for me a relationship with someone with AS is less likely to work on average than a relationship with someone without, therefore I won't ask out this diagnosed aspie I'm interested in" - sounds a bit daft, right?



Athenacapella
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09 Apr 2010, 9:38 pm

I just think the next person I date will probably have some Aspie, or at least nerdy, traits.

I mean, I'm a girl who likes science fiction. I'd prefer the library/book store over a bar. Could see a symphony or opera just as readily as I could a rock concert. Doesn't really care too much to watch sports on TV (but going in person is OK). Enjoys video games. Hates shopping. Loves to read. Enjoys quiet evenings. Doesn't want to hang out in huge crowds of people. Doesn't want a huge house or fancy car I can't afford.

So the person who would be a good match for me will need to share at least a good number of these interests, too.

Edited to add: I read there a higher number of Aspie children around MIT and Microsoft headquarters, so clearly their parents have Aspie traits and are doing OK. :lol: