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jc6chan
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08 Apr 2010, 12:01 pm

Anyone here get "screwed over" as a result of rules people/society tell you?

I mentioned this in another thread before, anyway, I didn't really understand when I was younger why people would have memorial days to honour soldiers. I was taught as a child that "killing people was bad" and so I took this rule strictly and it got me confused and I thought that all soldiers were bad people and criminals.

Another example would be when my mom taught me not to tell a stranger on the phone the specifics of what my parents were doing if someone called to look for them. My mom told me to just say "he/she is busy right now". So one time my uncle called and I told him that my mom was busy. I think he got confused and my brother eventually told my uncle that my mom was taking a shower. Later, my mom said it was OK because it wasn't a stranger calling. However, I understand why my mom had to tell me this because one time, the optometrist (eye doctor) called and I told the receptionist that "my mom is pooing right now." :lol:



TallyMan
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08 Apr 2010, 12:07 pm

I still get confused and over anxious about rules. On the phone theme, when I was 19 I had a summer job in a very large superstore and ended up working the telephone switchboard sometimes. I hated it. Anyway, one day a senior manager phoned from head office and asked to speak to the manager of the superstore. I buzzed through to the manager and he said "I'm not in!". So I relayed this back to the senior person calling "He says he isn't in". After a period of silence the person ranted down the phone about "such a body is going to hear about this!". Sounds like I dropped the manager right in it. I wasn't too popular after that. Just as well it was only a Summer job. Tip for Aspies... Don't work the switchboard!


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FredOak3
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08 Apr 2010, 12:26 pm

Yea, I just nailed for one today. I wrote this app about a year ago that this group of users pussyfooted on testing for 6 months. We finally went live with it and all of sudden they wanted all these changes.

So I emailed them and their supervisor back and told them I wasn't going to keep adding band-aids to this program and that they need to sit down, decide what they want and then let me know, not in this bits and pieces like they were doing.

Well they had their meeting, ironed it out, I fixed it and everybody was happy...or so I thought.

My boss comes up to me today and tells me the I wasn't being "sensitive" enough to the users...so much for my empathy.



Valoyossa
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08 Apr 2010, 12:38 pm

I follow rules when I know they're ok. I'm somewhat starchy and boring. I was brought up with rules Order must be, organise yourself! What is it? Do you mock at me?! Make it better! I hate your disorganisation! - so you know :D
People are stupid, they destroy, leave mess and don't think. I live in dorm and I think that they should learn on the beginning how to use toilet, bathroom and kitchen. Some should come back to kindergarten, because they even can't turn off the tap. They waste water and light. They can't divide rubbish, some even can't use a trashcan. They generally leave mess everywhere they appear.


But when I see f.e. instruction what is without any logic and senseless, I don't follow, but I say It's f...ed up, it can be done faster and better! Without breaking safety rules ofc. I'm not gonna spend with this all day!


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TallyMan
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08 Apr 2010, 12:52 pm

FredOak3 wrote:
Yea, I just nailed for one today. I wrote this app about a year ago that this group of users pussyfooted on testing for 6 months. We finally went live with it and all of sudden they wanted all these changes.


I've been a software developer for thirty years. I'm afraid this comes with the territory. It used to drive me up the wall years ago too. However, part of the problem is that end users aren't aware of what can be done with software. It isn't until they start using something that they "thought they wanted" that they start discovering all the shortcomings of it - e.g. it works 95% of the time but it can't handle 5% of scenarios. Also end users start thinking... "well this is good, now if it could only do such a thing as well it would be the dogs b*".

Managers are often to blame too - they draw up the specifications for software without often being familiar with the real day to day work done by their subordinates who will use the software - this is a recipe for failure. It is always best if you can cut out the middle-management and talk to the people who actually do the job day to day.

The worse fixes are those that totally undermine the basis of the software and you need to rewrite core modules and virtually end up rewriting the lot. Sometimes this isn't a bad thing though... if you are getting paid for all the changes. :D


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FredOak3
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08 Apr 2010, 1:16 pm

TallyMan , I've been at it for over 30 years too. It was just so frustrating because they had the beta for 6 months and no amount of pushing or prodding would get them to test it (it was a new app for a bunch of lifers whose motto is "but we always did it this way"). The VP finally said put it in and then they started paying attention and nit picking which is where I became less sensitive to their issues.

And then they finally had the meeting that they should have had 6 months ago and I made the changes in hours and everything works as they wanted. But it took my being insensitive towards them to get them to do anything and then I get called on it...ARGGGH.



Dox47
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08 Apr 2010, 4:28 pm

I learned early that rules are made by other people, and other people are often not as bright as we'd hope. Consequently, I evaluate all rules on their own individual basis and don't take anything as a given, this doesn't make my terribly popular with authoritarian types, but then again I wouldn't want to be popular with them anyway.


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bigdave
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09 Apr 2010, 6:16 pm

I tend to follow the rules I think make sense and ignore the rest. I have gotten in trouble a few times but nothing has changed. I just can't follow a rule that makes no sense.



UberSneakyPanda
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09 Apr 2010, 6:35 pm

Rules, somewhat like morals and ethics, are for those whom can afford to live and or follow them. (Haves Vrs. Have Nots)


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LipstickKiller
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10 Apr 2010, 10:15 am

I try to follow all rules that do not conflict with what I think is right. I think that since I reap the benefits of a society of certain standards I shouldn't ignore rules because of my own egotistical motives. If everyone ignored rules that they didn't care for, society would soon disintegrate. Most rules serve a purpose, even though it might not be obvious at first sight. That being said, I do not follow rules that would have me inflict pain on someone else or do something otherwise immoral.

Of course, I'm human like everyone else, so I frequently slip up. I feel bad about it though.

I never broke the rules at school or in public as a kid. I would only question my mother's rules. I didn't tell on other children, but if I was asked I would always reveal who broke the rules. I would also tell other people that they were wrong to break rules, because the rules where there for a reason, even if they didn't understand it. Needless to say it made me popular with teachers but a loser on the playground. I would be even more forceful if people's actions where morally reprehensible, regardless of rules. I guess I berated people a lot about their actions and opinions. I try to be more understanding and openminded now, but my inner sense of moral code is intact.

As a teenager I broke rules if I could evade the consequences. I basically thought that society was corrupt and mankind evil, so the rules served no purpose. I'm less pessimistic now.



anthonylee
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10 Apr 2010, 11:02 am

I try my best to follow rules when the are just and fair, and for the good/saftey, :) but unfair rules, I love to break!! :evil:



jagatai
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10 Apr 2010, 12:04 pm

My nature is to ignore rules but when I do I get into trouble so I've learned to follow rules almost too much. It creates problems for me. I get anxious when ever there is a cop nearby. I obsess about if I am doing something wrong even when I can't see where it would hurt anyone. But then I go off and do things my own way and sometimes it works and other times people get mad at me for no apparent reason. Oh well. I'll probably never really learn what I'm supposed to be doing.



CockneyRebel
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10 Apr 2010, 1:04 pm

I've always been a real stickler for rules. Every time I've gone to a new place, I had to know the rules. My peers would always call me 'The Well-behaved Student', and than they kept asking, if I was British, and if that was why I was so well-behaved. What does nationalty have to do with it? I was like that, due to my personaliy.


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Hanna
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11 Apr 2010, 7:36 pm

My son Adam who is 10 always follows rules and thinks that all poeple will or should. An example was when he was put a on a soccer team at lunch to play with other kids. The kids on his team were breaking the rules. He felt that he needed to tell the other team that his team was breaking rules. So the kids on his team weren't happy with him and the other team thought that he was strange for ratting out his own team. I tried to explain it to him. Then after a while he sort of understood the unwritten rules of teams. Then he looked at me as asked me why I never explained it to him before.



rmctagg09
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11 Apr 2010, 7:47 pm

I follow rules unless I find them wrong, which causes me to think of everything possible to circumvent said rule.