Aspies in midlife crisis, how do you deal with it?

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Well since I have only been recently diagnosed and now know why socializing has been so difficult over the years and even back then people didn't like me so not much has changed-I never got to do the things or have the relationships that people at 15,20,25,30,35,40,45 have had and I cant go back-in one week I will be a year older-while I am glad I am still able to look down at the grass instead of looking up at the grass-I feel like my life has not gone the way it might have/should have and its too late to start it seems-a new good friend who is also an aspie but younger keeps reminding me I am older and that I might not fit in here or fit in there because of an age difference-but with aspies age differences seem to not be that important-so my thought is-how do I know if I would fit in or not if I don't or not allowed to try and fit in-I just still do not understand many things and trying to learn can be exhausting-aspies seem to be the hardest on themselves in many matters and this is no different-what did I do that was so bad to people that we get treated sometimes like less than human-I will never get the answer to that no matter how much longer I live-its tough trying to catch up and I will never get the experiences that NT's seem to take for granted and come to them very easily and naturally. I guess some people have to end up alone so that others can have friends and wont end up alone. When peple find out about the AS I get treated like a damaged/defective person and then the "mentally disabled person" treatment starts and that really does wonders for my self esteem-certainly not a boost to it I will tell you that. Lonliness is overated.