Do you Dread an appt or social event before it happens?

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I find that when I set a date or time for an appointment or a social interaction, even something as simple as a lunch or a few minutes meeting, I feel like I just freeze until it's over with. I start dreading it, I start worrying about it, it's heavy on my mind, many times I don't sleep well the night before and I just stress out.

Many times the stress alone or the not sleeping has cause me to feel ill or get a migraine or something and I actually cause myself to be incapacitated and have to call off the event. If this just postpones it to a new date, it all starts over again.

I operate best when it's somewhat spontaneous. That's odd, I know, becuase I'm very routine oriented and hate having things changed suddenly on me, but when I make up my mind to go to lunch with someone and haven't had long to think about it, the dread period is so short it's not a problem.

I've heard Larry David, of all people, talk about this. He even has George say that he's never made an appt in his life that he didn't hope the other person wouldn't show up. It was funny but in interviews I've heard Larry David say that is very true in his life. It's true in mine.

Even when I'm dressed, found the place, got there in time, going in, and even when I'm going to meet someone I truly enjoy seeing or want to talk to, I still am hoping hard that they won't show up and I can just go home.

Since my mind seems to freeze on this event, I can't get past it or make plans or think about later on - it's like this is the biggest thing there is. One thing I've learned that has worked for me lately is to purposely plan something for AFTER the appointment or event. Something I like to do. Like I will go to the bookstore right after I'm done having lunch with this person. That helps me to focus more on the good thing that will follow the stressful thing, and it seems to not make time freeze so hard on the social thing only.

I'm like that too. I like things to be planned, but not too far in advance. That way, I know what to expect but don't spend weeks agonizing. Even when it's something that I don't mind doing, like seeing a friend for lunch, I become preoccupied with how much I'd rather just stay at home. After the appointment, it's as though a weight has been lifted, and I feel so relieved.

I'm not sure why this is, exactly. Part of it is obviously that I don't like socializing, but I also think I let myself get stressed out about having obligations. Sometimes I don't answer my phone or check my email in order to avoid obligating myself to do things. This is bad, I know, but I really like to stay close to home and "do my own thing", so to speak.

I'm the same way with appointments.. I tend to obsess over every single possibility and think of worst case scenarios and the less time I have to think about it and get it over with the better. I think the dreading socialisation, especially anything unfamiliar, is a big part of it too.

I used to be the same. You get used to meetings/appointments after a while and the panic fades. Think about how you felt when you first had a meeting compared to now; you are probably coping far better without even realising!

i tend to avoid meetings and functions if i can. i don't like it cos it spoils my routine for the day. i like to plan a head such as travel what to wear what shirt will make me feel happier.
im presently having problems with my GF as she thinks im being childish. i wish she would jut understand how awkward it is not being a NT.

Kind of depends on the appointment. If it's a lunch date with a friend, that doesn't bother me - in fact, I prefer a couple days notice. OTOH, if it's a job interview, yeah, I'd rather they call and say "Come on over", than make me an appointment for next Tuesday, giving me days to fret over it and rehearse every tiny thing that could possibly go wrong and worry myself sick about it.


On a semi-related topic, am I the only person who has a meltdown if you go to meet someone somewhere for lunch or something, and they arrive before you and go on in without you? If I show up and the person I'm meeting has gone in without waiting for me, I feel like just driving off and going home (and sometimes do). I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it's a major big deal for me.

I'm actually much 'worse' now. I used to work in the corporate world and was forced into that day to day planning/meeting/appt thing so I got better at it. Now I am not in that environment, I'm at home, and when there's an appointment that takes me out of the house it is HUGE. Much larger than it should be, in fact. Time just seems to stop until the Thing is over with.

In that regard it's harder for me to function out there and I'm so ingrained in my house, but in so many other ways (health mainly) I'm tremendously better because there's so much less stress in my life. It's a real tradeoff.

I really hate appointments. They keep me up all night imagining possible scenarios, trying to visualize what the place will look like, practicing conversations in my head (which almost never play out like I imagine they will.)