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Tim_Tex
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18 Apr 2010, 10:49 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Mikelight wrote:
0_equals_true wrote:
I'm fairly open, however I draw the line at people who constantly have a need to be put in line by deliberately acting out to provoke this. Not out of any idealism, simply because I can't be bothered with such people, I don't find them attractive...a turn off. However understand it is desirable to some in the BDSM community.


This^^^

There's a woman who is interested in me because I'm assertive however I hate that she wants to constantly put me in a situation where I have to be assertive with her. Plus she's a huge judgmental b***h and she's devoid any sexual desire so that's a huge no-go.


Sounds psycologically deranged, if not, a fetish.

Quote:
European? Believe me, you can find such guys anywhere, not just Europeans. They don't understand a word of Japanese, they just repeat from memory some phrases they have heard on those cartoons. And they insist on not watching dubbed cartoons or movies... I mean, I do that when a movie is in a language I understand, as the dubbing process may introduce errors or even censorship sometimes, but they can't understand a word of Japanese, so what does it matter if it's dubbed or not?

And there's other people who do the same not with Japanese stuff but U.S. or some other country's stuff... they are all mindless snobs who like to pretend to be something they aren't. They are equally annoying... which reminds me of an episode of "Belvedere" where he was secretly working for another family and the son was a Germanophile. Which in turn brings me to those Neo-Nazis lying around who have never been able to understand a single word in German and who probably would have been among the first ones the Nazis disposed of...
Or those who repeat the lyrics of some song in English with no idea what it actually means or how to spell it... you get the idea. The world is full of dumb people.


Yeah i'm sure other cultures do it to. Personally I'm proud to be a kiwi and I don't try and think i'm better than others due to apparent "knowledge" of other cultures.

If they actually know about the culture of it has a good purpose in their lives, I respect them, but not japan-o-phile ignorant fan boys. Just some skinny white geek wanting to be what he's not - something interesting.

Yeah its harsh, but i've met and associated with this sort of type enough to say its a rather accurate stereotype.


In other words, you're talking about the male version of Miss Hannah Minx (from YouTube).


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HopeGrows
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18 Apr 2010, 12:10 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
What if the other person is unwilling to compromise, especially regarding sexual things?


Then you are not a match, and you should find someone that you are sexually compatible with.


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Solsikke
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18 Apr 2010, 1:20 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I don't mind smoking in men.

Some turn offs for me:

1)Lapdogs - no time for guys like that at all
2)Arrogant men with a superiority complex
3)Bitchy men
4)Men who like anime
5)Whiny submissive men/pushovers
6)guys who always objectify women, talk about "f***ing" and crude sexual things, and their boners and stuff
7) Narrow minded men
8. Intense personalities

Desperation, athough that comes under 1) 5) and 6)



Number 6 on you list, is also a turn off for me



hale_bopp
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18 Apr 2010, 6:07 pm

One I forgot to mention: Adult men who live with their parents.



Mikelight
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18 Apr 2010, 6:25 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
One I forgot to mention: Adult men who live with their parents.


>_>



Sound
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18 Apr 2010, 6:48 pm

HopeGrows wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
What if the other person is unwilling to compromise, especially regarding sexual things?


Then you are not a match, and you should find someone that you are sexually compatible with.

This is a rare instance where I disagree with you, HopeGrows! 8O
I don't think it's about compatibility so much as it is dependent on experience.

Were I to apply to a new job, and list my 'desired position' a Chief Executive Officer, I probably wont get it. I have very little experience to establish me as CEO material.

Similarly, if you, Tim_Tex, attempt to assert a more advanced stage of a sexual relationship, despite your relatively small amount of sexual experience and variety, you'll have a difficult time attaining your desired outcome. You have very little experience with-which to maneuver into that situation.

The guys that are able to move quickly into a sexual relationship, or are able to go quickly into 'less classic' sexual situations are able to do it because:
1) They are very experienced with interacting with women, and have more situational/empirical knowledge to base their actions on,
2) they're very empathetic toward them, and able to read into their desires easier, allowing them to know when to advance, and when to halt, and
3) building on the prior two points, they know how adeptly illicit a feeling of trust and comfort. Sex requires a big feeling of comfort and trust, and alternative sex requires even more trust. There are few people who are able to easily let go of the trust requirement.

You can look all day for someone with-whom you can skip right over all that, but you'll be looking a very long time. A shorter route would be to get together with whomever, and progress towards more trust and adventurism by following the progression step by step, and not trying to jump-forward prematurely. As a secondary bonus, it gives a basis of experience that can be utilized if you move on to another relationship.

Most people don't wear their minor sexual preferences nor hard inhibitions, on their sleeves. Most people need to walk slowly toward something different, if they've never done it before, even if they're actually interested in it, or would enjoy it. Those who can move fast do so because the interaction between themselves and their partner is so 'in-tune' and empathetic, because at least one of the two people is very very good at guiding the other.

If you have only been with one or two women in your life, then you will probably not be able to move that fast until you have been with more women and understand them better.

In other words, your requirements are too high, and you don't generally meet the qualifications yet. You might get lucky, but that's a bad gamble.



Tim_Tex
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18 Apr 2010, 6:59 pm

That wasn't what I was referring to. I was referring to those people, usually religious fundamentalists, who refuse to try certain sexual things because "their religion forbids it", or thinking it will bring shame to their family, etc.


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hale_bopp
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18 Apr 2010, 7:06 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
That wasn't what I was referring to. I was referring to those people, usually religious fundamentalists, who refuse to try certain sexual things because "their religion forbids it", or thinking it will bring shame to their family, etc.


Are you just basing everyone on one person you had a bad experience with?



HopeGrows
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18 Apr 2010, 7:09 pm

Sound wrote:
This is a rare instance where I disagree with you, HopeGrows!


Oh no you di'int, @Sound! :wink: Actually, I think we're giving advice for different situations. Your approach seems to relate to how to approach compromise when it comes to sex/sexual preferences. I totally agree with your advice.

I read Tim_Tex's question as asking what to do when attempts at compromise have failed - I do think it's best to move on when that happens.


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HopeGrows
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18 Apr 2010, 7:11 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
That wasn't what I was referring to. I was referring to those people, usually religious fundamentalists, who refuse to try certain sexual things because "their religion forbids it", or thinking it will bring shame to their family, etc.


Well, you have two choices: stay in the relationship knowing your sexual needs will not be met; find another partner who is willing to meet your sexual needs.


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machf
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18 Apr 2010, 7:59 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
One I forgot to mention: Adult men who live with their parents.

As I said, that's possibly more a cultural thing, around here it's not unusual for four generations (grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren) to live together in the same home...

What about adult men who live with their in-laws?
:wink:



Last edited by machf on 18 Apr 2010, 8:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hale_bopp
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18 Apr 2010, 8:02 pm

machf wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
One I forgot to mention: Adult men who live with their parents.

As I said, that's possibly more a cultural thing, around here it's not unusual for four generations (grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren) to live together in the same home...


Yeah, true. That would be fine, in Western European countries, US, UK, Aus, NZ, it's considered strange to be living with your parents when you're working/finished being a student.



DavidM
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18 Apr 2010, 8:28 pm

I like a woman who is nice and placid and feminine and loves masculinity so much that she doesn't feel the need to discuss what kind of men she likes with other men. She just goes with what she feels is right; she likes to be swept off her feet and passionately embraced. Yes, indeed; this is what I like.



kingtut3
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18 Apr 2010, 8:35 pm

Liberal girls turn me way off. Girls with short hair, and I mean short enough to pass as a boy.



astaut
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18 Apr 2010, 9:05 pm

I didn't realize smoking was a turn off for so many people! I'm an on again off again smoker, so I don't know what to call myself. I guess my biggest turn offs would be guys who don't like animals and people who are really judgmental/close minded. The sort of people/guys who have really strong opinions and aren't open to hearing others, while theirs are very poorly based. Physical turn offs...really long hair on guys, and guys who pants are so low you can see their crack 8O