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UrchinStar47
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29 Apr 2010, 7:35 am

dustintorch wrote:
UrchinStar47 wrote:
anbuend wrote:
People have been calling me a leader since long before I was aware they were calling me that. I never set out to be a leader. I only set out to do what I thought was right. And people apparently followed me for that. I would continue doing the exact same thing whether or not anyone followed me. To be honest having people trust me so much unnerves me. I am highly aware of my own limitations and am frequently afraid someone will see me do something incredibly stupid and think it's a good idea. I do think there is a big difference between me and people who consciously set out to be leaders. I wouldn't know how to do that if I tried. I know autistic people who do it consciously though so it's not an autistic vs nonautistic thing, it's just a difference in motivation. The idea that some people follow me is rather terrifying but if I stopped doing what I think is right because of that it would be no better than doing something wrong with the intent of being followed. So I continue doing my own thing and if people choose to follow or not follow it's none of my doing either way.

From what you write, you are the definition of a good leader. Looks like a page from the manual about being an alpha male.

I'm not. I lost the approach. :cry: However, I'm building a new one, so, I'll see how it goes.

I agree. If Harry Potter taught me anything, it's that the best leaders are not the ones who go looking for it. They are the ones who have it thrust upon them.

Wasn't that Star Trek: Deep Space 9? :wink:

BTW, I found a manual, and it has a slightly strange bend:
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/alphabehavior.htm



anbuend
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29 Apr 2010, 11:25 am

UrchinStar47 wrote:
From what you write, you are the definition of a good leader. Looks like a page from the manual about being an alpha male.

I'm not. I lost the approach. :cry: However, I'm building a new one, so, I'll see how it goes.


I'm about as far from being an alpha male as possible. For one thing I'm female. For another thing that's just... not how I am. In actual social groups, as opposed to the situations people call me a leader in, I've either been closer to an omega, or else I've been one among many equals. Where I get called a leader is more in terms of human rights work, where I've found people get weird ideas about me no matter what I do.

In one incredibly aggravating instance, I really was running a group and didn't like it. Because while I had been the one to come up with the idea for it, I wanted it to be self-sustaining. And when I became unable to get to meetings the whole thing fell apart and everyone told me "we can't be leaders like you" even though that wasn't the role I'd wanted. That wasn't the main situation people call me a leader in but it's an example where I did my best to avoid the role and nobody would let me.

The main situation I get called that is fortunately not a situation where I'm running a group. But it's still a bit bemusing. The way I found out people thought that of me was when I flamed someone on a mailing list and got an angry private email from someone else telling me "People look up to you as a leader so you have a responsibility not to be nasty to people like that, they'll take it harder than they would from someone else". I didn't believe the guy until I asked around and found out people had been calling me that for years. Then I sort of went WTF in a major way.


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MathGirl
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29 Apr 2010, 11:16 pm

peterd wrote:
I'm a leader - I just don't often have followers
Same. Sometimes I'm so eager to take the lead that I get on people's nerves.


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RockDrummer616
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29 Apr 2010, 11:41 pm

I am most definitely NOT a leader. I'm not a follower either. I just don't interact with people.


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passionatebach
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01 May 2010, 1:50 am

I am not quite sure if I have leadership qualities. I often run into wanting to be part of the decision making process on things, but again needing direction when it comes to undertaking a major project. When I have had to lead something it has been by default, or I have had to stick my nose into the decision making process, because under most circumstances, people will not pick me for leadership roles. Lastly, I have noticed that it takes people awhile to join on, when I ask them to take interest in a project or event.



passionatebach
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01 May 2010, 1:42 pm

MathGirl wrote:
Same. Sometimes I'm so eager to take the lead that I get on people's nerves.


I fall in this catagory as well. For some reason, those that are in charge such as public officials get a little suspicious and paranoid about me, because I see ways to run the show better.



Irulan
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10 May 2010, 4:50 am

[quote="dustintorch"] I wouldn't consider myself a leader, but I'm not a follower either. [ /quote]

Ditto. An éminence grise is the term that fits me in this respect.



carltcwc
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10 May 2010, 5:00 am

I just lead myself. I could care less what other people do.



zombiecide
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10 May 2010, 5:27 am

I'm kind of bossy, does that count?


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