UrchinStar47 wrote:
From what you write, you are the definition of a good leader. Looks like a page from the manual about being an alpha male.
I'm not. I lost the approach.
However, I'm building a new one, so, I'll see how it goes.
I'm about as far from being an alpha male as possible. For one thing I'm female. For another thing that's just... not how I am. In actual social groups, as opposed to the situations people call me a leader in, I've either been closer to an omega, or else I've been one among many equals. Where I get called a leader is more in terms of human rights work, where I've found people get weird ideas about me no matter what I do.
In one incredibly aggravating instance, I really was running a group and didn't like it. Because while I had been the one to come up with the idea for it, I wanted it to be self-sustaining. And when I became unable to get to meetings the whole thing fell apart and everyone told me "we can't be leaders like you" even though that wasn't the role I'd wanted. That wasn't the main situation people call me a leader in but it's an example where I did my best to avoid the role and nobody would let me.
The main situation I get called that is fortunately not a situation where I'm running a group. But it's still a bit bemusing. The way I found out people thought that of me was when I flamed someone on a mailing list and got an angry private email from someone else telling me "People look up to you as a leader so you have a responsibility not to be nasty to people like that, they'll take it harder than they would from someone else". I didn't believe the guy until I asked around and found out people had been calling me that for years. Then I sort of went WTF in a major way.
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"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams