online relationship- how do I know if he loves me too?

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The story is:
I've been chatting with this guy for almost half a year already. We're both from Europe, not so far away from each other, but we haven't met yet. I like him much, and it seems he likes me too. We have a lot of things in common and lots of same opinions, and also we're both aspies. Recently I've told him I loved him. I've never been in love before and I don't really know how being in love feels like, but that's how I'd define what I feel for him. The thing is, he told me he loved me too, which is nice, but I'm afraid he said it only to make me happy or something..

So my question is
Have you ever told someone you love him and didn't really mean it? Is it normal or am I just being paranoid?
Also if you have some experiences with online relationships, I'd be more than happy to read them.

Well, have you met this person in real-life yet? Depending on how he considers the issue, he might not take your statement as seriously as you do, if you haven't met. It's likely that he likes you a whole lot, if you have talked a whole lot over that time, but getting to know someone via reading the text they choose to present is quite different from getting to know them as they truly are.

It may be that he does feel the same, but supposing about this topic isn't terribly useful, since you can't exactly 'graduate' a relationship whose only dimension is written correspondence. The implications of him potentially over-stating are.... well, zero, beyond the stress you're allowing yourself to get wrapped up into.

We haven't met yet. We've talked about meeting, though. It's not impossible, but very unlikely in near future. Also I'm a little afraid of meeting him, I'm afraid he won't like me in person.
During the time we know each other, we've been chatting every day for at least few hours, and I feel like we know each other really well. But now I don't know if it has any future (obviously I wish it would) and I'm too embarrassed to ask him about it.

Well he might have liked you to. You cant really know unless he is against you two meeting up or something.

But yeah, thing is that when people eventualy DO meet, they tend to be different in real life.
Maybe small habits or lilttle behaviors you dont see online.
Talking online is also easier as you can come up with things to talk about easier.

Distance is also gonna be a problem to some degree.
Yes it is possible, but it's not easy.

But then again, i'm only pointing out all the negative points ( pessimist here)

It's up to you in the end, and him that is.

My one experience with an online relationship worked out well, but I always stress that it didn't become "real" until after we'd met and spent a few weeks together in person - even after 2+ years of talking every day on MSN. We felt love before meeting, sure, but you can only know part of a person online, so the foundation those feelings were built on was flimsy. It was a big relief to meet, come to know each other properly, and find that we were still a good match. But it could very easily have gone the other way.

He might have meant it when he said he loved you, but the bigger question is whether the "you" he loves is the real you, and vice-versa for your feelings toward him. I don't think it's possible to fully remove that doubt without meeting and spending some substantial time together in person, so it may be a bad idea to let yourself get in too deep in the meantime. These things can work out if you're both careful and willing to work hard at it, though.

Why can't you take him at 'face' value? Is there something that he does or says that suggests he might not mean it?

What would it mean to you if he did mean it? What would it mean if he didn't?

No, it's nothing he does. It's me. I have problems with self esteem, and I find it really hard to believe someone might like me.

If he meant it, it would mean much to me. I'd know it has some future and I'd hope we'd meet one day. If he didn't mean it, it'd make me kinda sad, that he lied to me and that he doesn't care about me as much as I care about him. I'd still want to talk to him though, I'd just wouldn't hope for anything more in the future.

I'm the same.



I'd meet him and see where it goes. You'll find out one way or another. Just see where it goes in general. Maybe he does love you now, maybe he'll love you less, or more, or differently in the future. And you'll do the same.

As always, I recommend trying not to live too much in the future. If you find your relationship enjoyable, then enjoy it now and let the future take care of itself.

I think accept his comment at face value. He wouldn't have said it if hadn't at least some feelings for you, even if he had thought you were talking about friendship or a different intensity.

Sand is right; right now you are just (really good) pen pals, so though it is nice to say you love each other, and in your own ways, you probably both do, I would save worrying about the semantics of the word 'love' until after you meet in real life.

If you like someone, but you're unsure whether they feel the same way, it might help to find out. Here are a few tips for solving the mystery.
Steps

1. Make eye contact with the other person. If he or she doesn't look into your eyes, that may not be a good sign; but there's no need to call it off just yet.
2. Go up and talk to him or her. If he/she fidgets and looks away from you, then its a sign that he/she may not be interested.
3. Dance with the other person if possible. If he/she looks away from you and talks to another person, then she may not be interested, or may not be having fun.
4. Go out with a group of friends including him or her. If this person stays close to you throughout the night, and talks with you a lot, this may be a sign they are interested.
5. Ask him/her. If all else fails, and you really need to know the other person's feelings, you may have to come right out and ask. Just be prepared for disappointment if it doesn't work out.


Tips

* Don't spend too much time talking to the person or they will guess your feelings for them (unless you want them to know that you like them). However, you'll need to spend some time with the person so that you can observe how he or she responds to you.
* If your crush is always distant from you (never wants to hold hands, or kiss, ask them what's wrong), he or she may be wanting to end the relationship, but might be scared of breaking your heart.


Warnings

* Don't make it too obvious that you like the person. This may turn some people off if you come on too strong.
* Don't try to manipulate others to love you, it doesn't work.
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