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LipstickKiller
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03 May 2010, 11:28 am

I recommend 'Games People Play' by Eric Berne. It has a section on conversational games and scripts and how people follow and break the rules. Very handy to read and recall to avoid sounding goofy or saying the wrong thing.



psych
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03 May 2010, 6:33 pm

this can be a very dangerous road to go down...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94hdVLP1 ... re=related



Michhsta
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03 May 2010, 6:43 pm

I am on a disability pension for trying to behave in a painfully "normal" way for 36 years........

Could it be that the answer is.....

To be your authentic self........and embrace the idea that there are times to be socially accurate if you can?

A balance would be good.....

Mics


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ToughDiamond
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04 May 2010, 10:10 am

For purely social purposes, I wouldn't want to impersonate a "normie." I think it would be a mistake to mislead friends and potential friends, and it's not really ethical. Having said that, I've caught myself apparently faking bits of NT behaviour here and there, but I don't fake it consciously. Loneliness can be terrible but it's better than being somebody's plaything.

But for the purpose of getting/keeping a job, unless you're rich enough not to need one, I don't think there's much room for pathological honesty. It's a dirty game and the ones who try to play it clean will usually lose. I tried being absolutely straight at a couple of job interviews, and found it a good way of avoiding employment. In my experience, the world of work is a world of war, and truth is its first casualty. The management will use every trick in the book to screw more out of you for the same (or less) pay, and some of your colleagues may try to make you appear incompetent or unco-operative so that they can get one over on you, and you'll probably need to get your hands dirty in order to fight back effectively. So I wouldn't worry much about dishonesty at work.



katzefrau
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08 May 2010, 9:49 pm

Willard wrote:
Lisac57 wrote:
I believe this could be a first move on a long road to respectable, gainful employment, on the condition that I give off discreetly convincing airs of utter, unthreatening normality. Briefly, I want them to believe I'm just like everyone else



Ah, there's the rub. That 'briefly' part. Because if you achieve what you're suggesting, you'll remain employed only so long as the mask remains convincing.


what if, instead of attempting to put on a mask of normalcy, you instead try the mask of "deliberate eccentricity" and "odd humor"? this might work, for them and for you, until a more acceptable situation should come your way. you won't worry as much about being "discovered" as you will earn a reputation for being a little "off" but in an unthreatening way. worth a try ..

and in the meanwhile, recognize and heed your need for the comfort of solitude whenever you can manage it. (eat lunch in a park instead of somewhere you'll be expected to socialize, for example.)

Chronos wrote:
it's thought that many of those with AS/Autism have defective mirror neurons, neurons that fire and simulate within out brain the actions and emotions of others.


this is the first mention i've seen here of mirror neurons, a topic i've always found fascinating. thanks, Chronos! now i know what i'll spend the rest of my night reading about ...
:bounce:


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