How u develop ur social interaction skills?

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Aeturnus
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11 Apr 2006, 1:50 am

Here's a job that I once had, like just this past year: door-to-door canvasser. If that doesn't take communication, I don't know what does. I mean, it's mostly one-to-one communication and so forth, and not something I'd recommend to aspies in general. I took the job, which had to do with environmental issues, because that's one of my interests. And it was the only job within that field that I could find close to home.

Needless to say, the job didn't last long. They had this quota you had to reach every week, which was like too much for me. So, I started to put money into the job straight out of my paycheck, but that became too much after a while. I found myself making way too little money, so I had to quit.

At first, people there didn't seem to notice any sort of communication problem in regards to me. It's not until later on that they sort of took notice. Like, during a training session, one person was trying to break me of "talking at" people. There was supposed to be this rhythm of speech that seemed to lack when I talked, and I sort of had no idea what she was talking about. A couple of other people had trouble catching on, and these were NTs, but they caught on quite quickly. I still had no idea how to create any sort of rhythm when speaking. I do have a more excited rhythm at times, but I generally try to keep that out of work. Nobody there knew I had AS or anything, and whether or not they thought this lack of rhythm was strange? I have no idea? They never harped about it after that one session.

If you're deeply into what you strongly believe in, I guess you'll do whatever you can. The job wasn't all that bad, but I wasn't exactly comfortable. And I consider my social skills to be stronger than some people on this forum, though the oddities are there if one would pay close attention.

I don't need to mimic like many people do on this forum. I constantly converse with myself on a continuous basis when alone, sort of a compulsion with me. This probably steers my social skills into positive directions, but this is just me. There is an internal drive to do this, and if the drive isn't there, I doubt if self-conversation, including talking and then answering back, would be helpful, but maybe some people can force themselves to do it. I also believe that self-conversation may be related to anxiety stimuli. It sort of feels like it, but I don't know for sure.

- Ray M -



Florescent
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11 Apr 2006, 7:35 am

was that a challenge? I love those. I will bet I could handle it.



neptunevsmars
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11 Apr 2006, 10:30 am

Aeturnus wrote:
door-to-door canvasser. If that doesn't take communication, I don't know what does. I mean, it's mostly one-to-one communication and so forth, and not something I'd recommend to aspies in general.


Yeah. That's why I never really cut it as a Jehovah's Witness.


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Florescent
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11 Apr 2006, 12:15 pm

I could meat that challenge if it were not for pstd.



Florescent
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11 Apr 2006, 12:20 pm

I wAs told I had AS then HFA, BS.



Florescent
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11 Apr 2006, 12:50 pm

If your afraid of my excitabilty, ask me what my issue is. I have a pschiatrist appointment tommorow I don't like drugs. I don' t labels. He can put me away. I feal threated. I will show him what I am capable of. My mom stigmatizes me she has no idea what I am capable of. I am tense to impress. I am used to getting maid fun of so now you know.



LePetitPrince
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11 Apr 2006, 1:46 pm

Florescent wrote:
Damn are you trying to be nice or are you actually agreeing with me? damn pstd damn it it drives me crazy I wish the harassment would stop shut up shut up he is not out to get me. Damn you you are makin trouble for us what the hell is matter with you we could be worrying for nothing cut the s**t. No you I was tallking to it.


huh?



LePetitPrince
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11 Apr 2006, 2:00 pm

Florescent wrote:
I wAs told I had AS then HFA, bull****.


a similiar story happened to me too .



gary
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11 Apr 2006, 6:32 pm

I began by watching TV and movies and then practicing in front of a mirror since I was about eight years old until I was around 18 or 19 and then just gave up.



Aeturnus
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12 Apr 2006, 12:34 am

Florescent wrote:
was that a challenge? I love those. I will bet I could handle it.


You love those? Door-to-door canvassers? I generally don't like that sort of organizing. If I'm at home, I tend not to want to be bothered at eight at night by a canvasser. Strangely enough, I've never even had one come by where I live. Although, these things are mapped out with great detail, taking into account electorate results and so forth.

A challenge? Yes, surely. But it was one that I supported. I supported the causes and issues, working for the Sierra Club and PIRG and so forth, but the communication skills were lacking. Like, you need to ask for a fairly decent high amount of money at least once through the night. I wasn't exactly comfortable with these sorts of things.

- Ray M -



Jetson
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12 Apr 2006, 1:50 am

My parents made me go to all kinds of youth activities when I was pre-teen so I was constantly surrounded by other kids. I was also mainstreamed in school. I picked some stuff up on my own, but sometimes other people helped by telling me what I was doing wrong.

As a teen I did a lot of observing and emulating, followed by analysis of the failures.

Desmond Morris made a TV series called "The Human Animal" that explained all about facial expressions and body language and social customs and that was a *HUGE* help.

Even as an adult I still do the same things, and sometimes still get criticism and/or advice from other adults.


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jackd
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12 Apr 2006, 12:11 pm

In addition to the aforementioned techniques, I've found that reading sociology books can help a lot. There's obviously a break between reading about something and doing it, which is where practice comes in, but simply knowing some of the accepted forms of body language and other broadly accepted ways of communicating intentions can be quite helpful.



WilsonFisk
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13 Apr 2006, 5:58 am

A cool way to practice might be to use community voice chat over the internet. I had a room set up on paltalk (www.paltalk.com) but due to inactivity had to close it down. I do have the option to reopen if people from here show enough interest. If you want to read more about the room check out this post http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.htm ... pic&t=6525 :wink:

.....and Alex never bothered to create a webpage promoting a voice chat room as he once agreed. :x nevermind



gary
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13 Apr 2006, 3:04 pm

I began to practice what I call 'scenarios' in the mirror when I was in the second grade. I would memorize certain 'situations' from the television or movies and then try to build up a 'list' of 'reactions' I could use in real life. Idid this on a very regular basis until I was around eighteen years old and had probably tens of thousands of 'canned' facial expressions and verbage to cover just about any situation in life. I know it sounds stupid but it more or less worked for me.



LePetitPrince
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14 Apr 2006, 6:10 pm

I see most of us used the TV .