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Valoyossa
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09 May 2010, 2:50 pm

I keep myself away from Facebook and similar websites :twisted:


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ADoyle
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09 May 2010, 4:21 pm

I use Facebook, but nobody has asked for my phone number since most of my "friends" have it already as they're people I know IRL. Everything is set up to "friends only," which is really nice for me. I did block my ex-husband when I first joined Facebook, as I didn't want him to know I was on that site as he'd try to cyberbully me.


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Homer_Bob
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09 May 2010, 4:22 pm

Hell, no. I hate every possible aspect about it.


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earthmom
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09 May 2010, 4:51 pm

Negolin wrote:
And if so, when old friends ask for your phone number....do you get nervous about talking to them?


I use FB and really like it. I have a long list of "friends" that I know nothing about but we share game play. It's great - little message back and forth just about the game and nothing more. :)

It is surprising how many people have found me on there from previous jobs and from my high school, etc. Several just recently have wanted to call and I made an excuse. The last week I've had bronchitis so it's true that my voice is very bad, so I just tell them so. I'm not sure what I'll do after this clears up. I really don't use the phone and have no intention of starting with people I haven't seen for 25 years.

What bothers me SO much about old school friends is once they find you they DIG IN. It's not enough to just email or even to just call, if you continue to have contact they want MORE. The next thing I know they are planning a trip out here (I moved a thousand miles away from the hometown) and they HAVE to SEE ME or worse want to come to my HOUSE :(

Why is that? If we had wanted to stay in touch through all these years, we would have. But we did not. We knew each other for 4 to 10 years of our lives as children and have not seen or heard from one another in 25 years - a much bigger portion NOT being in touch. But suddenly they want to intrude on my life.

It ends up with me making an excuse, telling them they can't come to my home, offering to meet them out someplace (that happened once and I was such a nervous wreck leading up to the meeting day that I got physically ill and then had a real reason to beg off).

I NEVER grab someone on email and then tell them I must have their phone number and then start planning a trip to their town and insiste that I HAVE to see where they live and all of that...... why would I?

Do they just want to see if they've got more money than me after all these years? If they've done better? I don't get what coming several states to plop into my home really does for a person.

Anyway, for the most part Facebook has been fun, until it gets too personal.


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Icecypher
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14 May 2010, 1:11 pm

Apera wrote:
I use facebook, and I have never really been asked for my number... I keep only my cell number listed on my profile, visible to friends - in hexadecimal. So there's still some measure of security. 8)

So only your Aspie friends will be able to call you, LOL.

I have my phone number in my profile for my friends, but I have realized very few people look into the info page in the profile... If I want something not to be found, I can post it there...


earthmom wrote:
Why is that? If we had wanted to stay in touch through all these years, we would have. But we did not. We knew each other for 4 to 10 years of our lives as children and have not seen or heard from one another in 25 years - a much bigger portion NOT being in touch. But suddenly they want to intrude on my life.


One of the things I like about FB is that I can find friends I no longer knew anything about and catch up. I did like them when we were together and I do not think one always stays in contact with people, even people one loves (ask me how often I call my parents). For me, FB is a great place to keep contact without actually having to meet or call someone. You automatically let them know about you and you can comment on things if you want to, and you can also stay silent if you so desire.

Of course, no one has actually asked me to come to my house. I would only let a very few of them do it, and even so, there is not a lot of space. But I wish I could meet them again someday (I live far away) in one of those "reunions" they sometimes plan. But a big part of this is because I want to see the differences, how they are all mostly old people now, and look the part, LOL.



Moog
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14 May 2010, 1:51 pm

I use facebook to stay in contact with a couple of friends. I find it preferable to using the phone.


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MONKEY
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14 May 2010, 2:00 pm

I use it, yes. I've never given phone numbers on facebook though, MSN I have.
On facebook I only really talk to a small number of my friends list, last time I checked I've got 172, but I probably talk to about less than 10 on a regular basis.


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aloneinacrowd
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14 May 2010, 4:05 pm

I use Facebook. Don't really like what they are doing but I like the concept. Hopefully Diaspora takes off and Zuckerberg can sit with all his empty servers.

I put my phone number on my profile visible to friends only. A couple have called. I like that I can make contact with old old friends. Especially now that I know why they are old old friends and not current ones. I have actually re-established a pretty good relationship with a friend I used to trust and spend a lot of time with. There are people out there that are ok with people being Aspies and what that means to a relationship. It's tough for us as well to put up with all that crap. :D

I just say what I want to say on Facebook and figure the people that can't handle that will just quietly delete me or ignore me. And I'm ok with that. One thing I have found out since I have been on Facebook is that a lot of people have someone they love on the Spectrum. I can understand how some Aspies might not like FB though. One of my obsessions was PHP and anything web development related. I have owned and developed about 20 websites over the years so I am used to dealing with people online. It was tough in the beginning though.



alana
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14 May 2010, 6:26 pm

aloneinacrowd wrote:
I use Facebook. Don't really like what they are doing but I like the concept. Hopefully Diaspora takes off and Zuckerberg can sit with all his empty servers.

I put my phone number on my profile visible to friends only. A couple have called. I like that I can make contact with old old friends. Especially now that I know why they are old old friends and not current ones. I have actually re-established a pretty good relationship with a friend I used to trust and spend a lot of time with. There are people out there that are ok with people being Aspies and what that means to a relationship. It's tough for us as well to put up with all that crap. :D

I just say what I want to say on Facebook and figure the people that can't handle that will just quietly delete me or ignore me. And I'm ok with that. One thing I have found out since I have been on Facebook is that a lot of people have someone they love on the Spectrum. I can understand how some Aspies might not like FB though. One of my obsessions was PHP and anything web development related. I have owned and developed about 20 websites over the years so I am used to dealing with people online. It was tough in the beginning though.


I would love to see another site take off soon but still in all I don't think zuckerberg is going down because he has all the 'I have nothing to hide" people. Those folk that said that to the patriot act, to increased airport security that others have objections to, whatever. at least in this country, middle america is going to spread it's cheeks for this kind of thing every time, because they have 'nothing to hide'. It's also the demographic that probably makes the most use of facebook showing off their great fake lives, no matter how many pills they pop or massage parlors they frequent on the side.



WillMcC
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15 May 2010, 7:20 am

I use Facebook quite regularly, though I don't actually post very much. I did have my contact information (phone, IM, etc.) on my profile but nobody ever called me and I removed it after the latest round of "improvements"



nick007
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15 May 2010, 8:15 am

The only mainstream site I use is MySpace & I don't have many friends on there. I linked it in my pro here if anyone cares. I hate talking on the phone as well but I do give my number out to certain people online but not strangers. If someone I barely chatted with ask for my number; I tell em I do not have many minutes & I barely use my phone witch is true. If they keep pressing the issue then I mite tell em off or delete em from my friends. Good people would know better than to push the issue. I tex people instead of calling & I also use Yahoo messenger but I don't give out my # for a while


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kx250rider
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17 May 2010, 9:50 pm

Negolin wrote:
And if so, when old friends ask for your phone number....do you get nervous about talking to them?


I do have a page, and I much prefer just keeping all communications in the form of eMails. Phone is worst; I'd rather just arrange via eMail to meet in person. I just can't get to first base on the phone. I don't show my phone or address on FB.

Charles



dyingofpoetry
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17 May 2010, 9:56 pm

I admit that I use it, but primarily for the same reasons as stated above. I can keep in touch with just about everyone I know without having to use the phone or to get together in person. The phone is worse than personal meetings for me. If people are going to visit, I just need a lot of prep time.


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French_Lola
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18 May 2010, 4:23 am

I do use facebook but my name is fake so no old 'friends' can find me. I have about 20 people on facebook and i gave them my id myself.



ProfessorX
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18 May 2010, 3:26 pm

I had signed up for it today but, quickly deactivated/deleted my account since I felt that I did not wish to spread myself all over the net.Such is not a bad thing but, I find it rather easy just being here on WP wherein; most people are able to communicate with me and don't have to go all over the net as such..



aloneinacrowd
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18 May 2010, 4:50 pm

alana wrote:

I would love to see another site take off soon but still in all I don't think zuckerberg is going down because he has all the 'I have nothing to hide" people. Those folk that said that to the patriot act, to increased airport security that others have objections to, whatever. at least in this country, middle america is going to spread it's cheeks for this kind of thing every time, because they have 'nothing to hide'. It's also the demographic that probably makes the most use of facebook showing off their great fake lives, no matter how many pills they pop or massage parlors they frequent on the side.


Well I have nothing to hide either but that doesn't mean I'm taking the doors and curtains down at my house. Privacy is privacy.

Speaking of which these guys are working on a way to simplify the privacy settings on FB. Works pretty good so far. Open source project so the code is visible.

http://www.reclaimprivacy.org/facebook