Basics of Fashion and appearance for Male Aspies

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RICKY5
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10 May 2010, 4:20 pm

The goal for men's fashion to is non-verbally convey that you have money and appear socially smart.

Needless to say you do not have to spend a lot of money to appear socially tuned in. You just have to spend your money smartly. Dressing well will help you in social situations and at work.

Things you will need to do and get

Get your measurements
Go into a men's clothing store like Jos A. Bank Clothiers and they will do your measurements for free. Write your measurements down on your IPhone or notebook.

Charcoal Grey Suit
Think of this as the canvas on which you paint.Your shirt and tie are going to be the centerpieces of your outfit.

Shirts
Long sleeve shirts all the way. Good colors to have are deep blue, deep red, purple, deep salmon, and metallic green. The George brand from WalMart

Shoes
Black all the way. I recommend Clark brand. They are comfy, not ugly, and reasonably priced ($80).

Jeans
Dark blue is a safe bet.

Ties
Purple goes well with Green. Green goes well with purple. Neon green goes well with deep blue and red.

Things to not wear

Khaki Pants
Bland and boring and they only look good on male models

Jean Shorts
These are just awful...

Khaki shorts
The color is lame and nobody wants to see your chicken legs!

Short-sleeve Shirts of any sort
Unless you are a hulked out bodybuilder, these do not look good on you. These are even worse if you have a few extra pounds.

Company Logo Shirts
These make you look like a pauper who will wear anything that he is given.

White Tennis Shoes
These should only be worn when working out. They are a double-whammy against you if you wear them with khaki pants or shorts.



schleppenheimer
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10 May 2010, 4:42 pm

This is a very good reference!

The other thing that you can do is pick a store that you know is fairly stylish, and stick with it. For my teenage son, that store is American Eagle. For older guys, I'm not sure what it would be.



LittleTigger
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10 May 2010, 4:46 pm

Hey I like the colours of the Work uniform,
that almost sounds how I used to dress for
work. But with more Black.

Now its all Pooh and Tigger for me,
I work at home now.


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wendigopsychosis
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10 May 2010, 5:19 pm

I'm a girl, but I know a bit about fashion (it was a mini-special interest at one point, one might say).

1) Short sleeved shirts are fine. Not tank tops. T-shirts can look wonderful if they fit.

2) Pants color doesn't matter (unless it's obviously something off-putting, like neon orange), it's the fit. Again, like shirts, pants need to fit right.

The most important part of dressing well is buying clothes that fit you. 100$ jeans will look just as bad as $10 jeans if they're too big. You want to aim for a halfway point between tight and baggy. Look at what the mannequins in the store are wearing, and look at how their pants fit. That's the kind of fit you should be aiming for.

Fit of the clothing is really the only thing one needs to worry about, beyond the obvious things like no hula skirts.
Price doesn't matter, color only matters a little bit, but fit will make or break an outfit.


Also, a good tip:
Look around at the guys you think are obnoxious, mean or annoying, or simply guys who are in a perceivable social group. Jocks, bros, scene kids, whatever. Notice what they're wearing, and avoid those clothes, or else you will be associated with that group. We adorn ourselves not just for comfort and warmth, but for social status. A backwards baseball cap will make you look like a bro, tight purple pants will make you look like a scene kid, tight plaid shirts will make you look like a hipster (personally, I love plaid, but if you don't want to be associated with hipsters, don't dress like them).


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pschristmas
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10 May 2010, 5:57 pm

Old fogey chiming in:

Tuck in your shirts! T-shirts and polos are made to be worn out, that's fine. But the current trend in leaving button-down shirts untucked is just sloppy-looking.

Also, buy shoes -- the kinds with uppers and tongues. If I never see another guy in flip-flops (or gal, for that matter), I will die a satisfied woman (on that point, at least!)

:lol: :lol:



Sententia
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10 May 2010, 6:20 pm

If you ask me.. dress how you fit in. Don't come off stuck up like, if you dress better than them they won't like you. But if you dress like one of the guys, observe what they do.. and just learn it. Learning is easy but talking is the key part. You haveto get to know them, accept them, and respect them. Don't dress out of sorts, or you'll feel out of sorts.



Stinkypuppy
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10 May 2010, 9:47 pm

Sententia wrote:
If you ask me.. dress how you fit in. Don't come off stuck up like, if you dress better than them they won't like you. But if you dress like one of the guys, observe what they do.. and just learn it. Learning is easy but talking is the key part. You haveto get to know them, accept them, and respect them. Don't dress out of sorts, or you'll feel out of sorts.

+1

RICKY5: to convey that you have money should NOT be a requirement for establishing a friendship. For establishing a work relationship, it totally depends on the kind of work you do. If you do social work, looking totally affluent is not important compared to if you were schmoozing with corporate execs.


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Sound
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10 May 2010, 10:56 pm

I don't agree with nearly anything RICKY5 suggested there. It's all far too broadly referenced. I can pull things out of my own wardrobe that each exclusively land in the 'don't wear' list, and end up looking very, very good. It's the specifics of an article & you which determine whether it works well or not, from a aesthetic perspective. You can certainly abuse certain clothes, but categories of clothing, like khakis, just can't be ruled out.

My own suggestions would be to:

A) Buy clothes from an outfit perspective. Instead of selecting articles based on their individual merit, choose them according to how they look with a specific outfit, either by buying one whole outfit at a time, or imagining what articles you like at home. Therefore, the design on a shirt, for instance, isn't nearly as important as it's base color or colors, etc.

B) Choose articles that fit you well, and work with your body shape.
For example, I'm relatively slim, so I choose shirts that fit close around my stomach and chest, with well shaped shoulders. This emphasizes the V shaped torso, like what you see male models emphasizing. It's masculine and appealing.
If an article seems pretty great, but doesn't do the right things to your frame, don't buy it.
Due to this, cheap clothes should be avoided. Small brands from small, non-franchise stores are your best bet. Designer is nice, particularly because It's typically made well, fits well, and looks good otherwise, however designer is not a necessity at all. They're just reliably good.

C) Accessorize. Seems girly, but it doesn't have to be. A cool belt buckle, a nice watch or wristband, non-standard eyeglasses, whatever. Just little stuff to break up the potential monotony of an outfit.

D) When putting together your outfit, start with the most significant visible article being worn: 1) Your COAT (if you're going to wear one). After your coat is decided, choose 2) Your PANTS. Color fit and style, etc, that best fits your coat. After those two are decided, the process of elimination narrows things down a great deal, and the other items can be selected to match easily.

E) Due to the aforementioned importance, invest in a really nice coat/jacket or two. If you're gonna splurge on one article, make it your coat. It sticks out the most, speaks the most, tends to be your most 'weighted' article when people get a first impression of you. Choose your coat 80% based on fit, everything else is a side consideration. The silhouette your coat imparts is a huge consideration. Personally, I tend to favor a silhouette that does the most to emphasize shoulders, and does not taper/splay outwards at the bottom. Keep the stomach close, both when zipped/buttoned, and when open. Preserve the V shape.



auntblabby
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11 May 2010, 2:14 am

i'll just remain a hermit so i won't have to force myself to put on those uncomfortable, scratchy, stiff, stuffy-hot, expensive, fickle-fashioned clothes.



Chronos
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11 May 2010, 3:29 am

To be perfectly honest, I kind of find men who dress like they have money on a casual basis a turn off.

If I think you are wearing $300 jeans and $300 sunglasses I would really want little to do with you.

If you are dressed are in an expensive suit for business, that's fine though/

Also, if you're a younger man, t-shirts can be fine on weekends or vacations.


And unless you want to look horribly middle age WASPish, I'd avoid those men's shirts with the prints on them. You know, those "business casual" ones with some type of theme going on.

I'd just avoid prints all together actually and stick with solid colors.



MONKEY
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11 May 2010, 3:46 am

You all forgot
NO socks and sandals, they do not go, especially when worn with 3 quarter shorts. Sandals are to be worn without socks.


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EarlPurple
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11 May 2010, 6:40 am

MONKEY wrote:
You all forgot
NO socks and sandals, they do not go, especially when worn with 3 quarter shorts. Sandals are to be worn without socks.


sandals are not to be worn at all, you mean.



MONKEY
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11 May 2010, 5:31 pm

EarlPurple wrote:
MONKEY wrote:
You all forgot
NO socks and sandals, they do not go, especially when worn with 3 quarter shorts. Sandals are to be worn without socks.


sandals are not to be worn at all, you mean.


I think men look alright in sandals, as long as they're with knee-length shorts in the summer or something. And the man in question is young.


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CosmicRuss
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11 May 2010, 5:57 pm

I say there are far more important things to happy living other than following fashion rules.

There was a time not all that long ago, when all of us ran naked being chased by wild animals. :)

I buy everything about 4 sizes too big because I hate restriction around my body and I also find fashion rules restricting of people`s individuality.


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Sound
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11 May 2010, 6:33 pm

CosmicRuss wrote:
I say there are far more important things to happy living other than following fashion rules.

There was a time not all that long ago, when all of us ran naked being chased by wild animals. :)

I buy everything about 4 sizes too big because I hate restriction around my body and I also find fashion rules restricting of people`s individuality.


And you are free to do that. If it feels good, that's great.

Just don't pretend there's no social consequences for lack of attention.



CosmicRuss
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11 May 2010, 6:57 pm

Sound wrote:
Just don't pretend there's no social consequences for lack of attention.
So what is dress-down Friday all about then ? That`s socially acceptable isn`t it ?


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