My name is Charles, and I have Asperger's as diagnosed formally this year. I had never heard of any of this until the past five years, when I became curious as to how Asperger's (or being on the Autism Spectrum) could relate to my most unusual characteristics.
I'm in my early 40s; happily married and live in Dallas, TX and Ventura County, CA part time. My wife and I run an avocado ranch outside of Moorpark, CA. I was an electronics technician for about 20 years, but decided to get out of that line of work. My wife is a former special ed teacher, also having decided to go with a more relaxed way of life... Farming.
I have always felt that there was something just not there with my lack of ability to "fit in" with peers, ever since nursery school. I had absolutely no interest in being around others, and honestly am still happiest doing my own thing, rather than in a group. Sudden noises will put me in my grave; I just can't take it when someone shouts out suddenly. Teachers (and nowadays police) always think I'm lying or stoned, as I can't keep normal eye contact with others. Eye contact is nearly a physical pain, as best I can explain. Touch me when I'm not expecting it, and my instinct is to jerk away. Changes to familiar places, people and routines is very hard for me to deal with. I have learned to cope with those things, but it takes a lot of energy from me. I eat the same breakfast at the same time, and I do the same things at the same time every day when possible. It just works better that way. If I deviate, I have to write notes, plan out a schedule, and darned if I'm ever successful in keeping that schedule 100%. If they bulldoze or remodel a building in town, or even something as simple as a neighboring ranch switching from lemon production to oranges, causes me at least a little stress. Restaurants which frequently change their menus will not see me on the regular customers' list. I've always had unusual hobbies and interests; starting with a burning urge to figure out how a TV set works at about age 8, which led to my career in electronics later on. People thought it was strange that I knew the model number and year built of just about every TV set ever made from 1939 through the 1980s, and knew the part number of the picture tube in each one too. But I had no idea how to hang out with other kids, and I was always teased and shunned by other kids. Any friends I had as a child, were older than my parents. 90% of my peers thought I was gay, although I'm not. I just didn't know how to approach girls, and had very little interest in doing so when I felt doomed to fail in that department as much as in any other social interaction. I just learned to live as "the weird-o", and did my own thing. Sadly, I was mis-diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic by a UCLA psychiatrist when I was 8, which I later learned was not only impossible at that age, but I had no symptoms of paranoia. It boggles my mind as to how they arrived at that diagnosis, and that they put me on drugs suited for paranoia. When the drugs (of course) didn't do anything but worsen my situation, I was locked up in the hospital at UCLA for 7 months of study. Did absolutely nothing, but maybe helped out with my fear of separation from home, which I clearly remember having improved by that. I was ruled as disabled, and put in private schools for the rest of my school years. I never had any problems with studying or learning; in fact I was already reading on a 2nd grade level when I entered kindergarten at age 5. I always got the best grades in academics, but was the only student to get an F in phys ed. I struggled on through my teens and early adulthood with only a handful of good friends, and no successful dating. At age 29, I finally found who I thought was the girl for me, and we were together for 9 years. It was in some ways a terrible relationship for both of us because she was always upset with me for failing to know what she was thinking, feeling, or what she wanted me to do. I wanted nothing more than to please her, but everything I did in good faith was wrong.
Fast-forward to 2006: I met my wife Kay, and she, without my knowing, seemed to understand me. She is probably the most intelligent woman on Earth, and as a bonus, she has a degree in Special Ed, and worked with Asperger's and Autistic kids in school. Since we met, and then married, things have really turned around for me. All of a sudden I can put an explanation on so many of the unthinkably frustrating situations I have endured.
I'm here on this forum to share what I've learned (both in the hard way and in the easy way), and I hope to learn more from others as well. I was referred to this forum by a member here, who is also a member at another forum to which I belong. Out of respect for privacy, I won't name the forum, but it is for people with a VERY strange (strange in the viewpoint of most people) hobby.
Charles
17 May 2010, 10:05 pm
