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Mutanatia
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24 May 2010, 10:55 pm

I had a problem with one of my supervisors (she was treating me like I was a major inconvenience to her for my asking her to log me into the system), so I asked my job coaches to find out what is going on here, and they came back to me telling two things:

1) The reason why she is acting like I cause her a major inconvience is maybe her needed to log me into the system reminds her of all the organization's flaws, etc., and that anyone in my position would be met with the same sort of reaction to her. It's one of the typical "It's not you; it's her" type of things, which makes me feel guilty because we don't know that she would be in the same situation if I didn't work with her.

2) Apparently, and someone help explain this to me a bit better, asking "Are you okay" (she seemed more agitated than me than usual) seems to be stepping on a social norm that I didn't know existed. So the same person, mentioned above, had a problem with that. As is typical in my life, rather than tell me, they (of course *sigh*) told my job coach what I had done. When I spoke to my other supervisor, she told me not to worry about it--but I really hate doing things that are wrong :(

My question is: Should I feel guilty about any of this? I'm asking this because a lot of this sounded to me like it was my fault, and my supervisor (the first one I mentioned) would have it a lot easier were she not my supervisor, that I am doing everyone a major inconvenience by even working at my job site placement because this is now two people that don't get along with me at all (for the most part). So now I'm on the verge of having a meltdown and just saying the hell with it (but I know that's not the right answer--I do want to be a good worker, I just feel like I'm not in their eyes) (The other person I don't get along with is NOT a supervisor BTW).



poppyx
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24 May 2010, 11:17 pm

no, don't feel guilty.

it's her

As to 2--you're not supposed to notice if your boss is being unreasonably upset for no reason.

That's the social rule. :D



pschristmas
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24 May 2010, 11:18 pm

No, to both instances. In both cases, it really is her, not you. In number one, if that's the way the system works, that's the way it works and she needs to just do her job without acting put out about it. In the second instance, there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking if someone is okay when they are behaving as if they are out of sorts. There is something wrong with being obnoxious about it, which your supervisor was. Listen to your job coach and just don't worry about it.



TheMidnightJudge
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25 May 2010, 12:27 am

Nothing to feel guilty about.

I don't understand the whole "are you okay" thing either. Do you do it too frequently?
Or it could just be your supervisor has a pet peeve?

There's nothing you should feel guilty about. But even if there were, there's no use lamenting that which you have no control over.

Long time no see by the way.


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Chronos
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25 May 2010, 1:48 am

There is a type of person called "type A"

They are very efficient at getting things done, never procrastinate, and work like clockwork. They make very good managers in terms of keeping the business running, however they are always incredibly up tight and see small intrusions into their work routine as massive inconveniences.

She's probably one of those.



Lene
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25 May 2010, 9:10 am

Nah, you acted normally. I wouldn't ask her if she's ok again; some people take that as an accusation rather than a pleasant question.



mesona
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31 May 2010, 7:27 pm

No and no and no. asking for help should be a good thing. If they get mad at you for asking for help then maybe they should not be working in a place where people will ask you questions.



Wogar
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01 Jun 2010, 4:58 pm

You're going to feel guilty if you talk to her or not. This sort of thing happens to me all the time. I break out in a sweat when I interact with this type of person (and there are a lot of them around).


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kostopsykologi
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12 Mar 2011, 10:38 am

I agree. No, no and no.