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liloleme
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31 May 2010, 10:59 pm

I have found over the years that I am an easy target for manipulators (if thats the correct terminology for it). I think its mainly due to the fact that I just expect people to be as honest as I am. I always tell myself that Im not going to let it happen again but recently it happened again...I wont go into details but it was very hurtful. I suppose it goes along with my deficit in reading others intentions and body language, facial expressions so on. I dont know when people are lying to me, face to face. Surprisingly enough Im better at picking up on liars and "creepers" (my older daughters word for scary people) in written word. Like, I met my husband through a personals site online and I had no trouble weeding through the creepers and liars.
Is anyone else like this?



Ferdinand
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31 May 2010, 11:01 pm

Sadly, yes. I do not know how to defend myself from these mean, mean people.


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auntblabby
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31 May 2010, 11:46 pm

it always saddens me when i find out a person cannot be trusted. when i was a young adult, i was so easily fooled that a coworker convinced me that the empire state building was originally constructed upside down, with the lobby atop the building and the penthouse at the base. he was so amused that i was so gullible. i didn't become skeptical until i reached my late 30s, so i guess my frontal lobes weren't really online 'till then.



Aimless
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01 Jun 2010, 4:48 am

Yes, people use me or at the very least become dependent. Sometimes it's people who turn to me because they've alienated everybody else or are in a bad position because of the choices they've made. I feel like I end up being nothing more than a sounding board and errand runner and therapist. I listen and listen and listen and I want to scream stfu. Recently I tried to talk to the current one about a concern I had with my son and she literally turned around in the middle of my sentence and walked away from me. I've been better lately about asserting that they need to realize that it takes everything I've got to take care of myself and my son and not to assume I am available. Still, that's the pattern of the last several years. I have had no one I would consider a friend who genuinely is interested in me and not what I can do for them. I feel really angry about it sometimes. Maybe I need someone to take care of me once in a while, but since I have no romantic skills that's not going to happen.



Danielismyname
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01 Jun 2010, 5:16 am

I seem to be oblivious to seeing manipulation and being manipulated. It just doesn't work on me.

:P



Robdemanc
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01 Jun 2010, 5:38 am

I have had a few incidents in my life where I think people were manipulating me for their amusement. It is horrible. Once I was bullied at work by two superiers and I didn't even know it was going on for about 6 months. A colleague (who I trusted) told me it was going on because she had been observing it. I remember being really surprised that adults could behave like kids in the playground. And I got to thinking that on the whole, even though people grow up, we never really leave the playground. I lost a lot of trust in work colleagues from that point on and I think it has caused me problems in subsequent jobs, especially with my managers.



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01 Jun 2010, 5:44 am

Robdemanc wrote:
I have had a few incidents in my life where I think people were manipulating me for their amusement. It is horrible. Once I was bullied at work by two superiers and I didn't even know it was going on for about 6 months. A colleague (who I trusted) told me it was going on because she had been observing it. I remember being really surprised that adults could behave like kids in the playground. And I got to thinking that on the whole, even though people grow up, we never really leave the playground. I lost a lot of trust in work colleagues from that point on and I think it has caused me problems in subsequent jobs, especially with my managers.


I had that happen at a job. I saw someone making a mistake and tried to point it out but he kept telling me to leave him alone. When the mistake became evident he yelled at me for not telling him. When I tried to point out that I had tried he called me a liar. I was so mad I had to go to the bathroom to cool off. When I came back I saw him and the manager with their heads together giggling.



Danielismyname
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01 Jun 2010, 5:58 am

Aha! Someone else sees the connection!

Life as an adult is no different to the playground in school, say, around grade 2. You learn everything you need to know about [social] life in that small playground.



Vanilla_Slice
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01 Jun 2010, 6:06 am

Yes, but you get better at spotting the sharks over time. A few years ago I was looking for some new double glazing and one of the companies sent a guy who was amazing. According to him their windows were fitted to Clarence House (where Prince Charles lives) and Richard Branson's yacht. The bullshit light that lit up above his head was kinda bright 8O

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01 Jun 2010, 6:40 am

Danielismyname wrote:
Aha! Someone else sees the connection!

Life as an adult is no different to the playground in school, say, around grade 2. You learn everything you need to know about [social] life in that small playground.


That would explain it. I was born old.



zer0netgain
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01 Jun 2010, 7:14 am

Same problem here, but I learned quick enough to stop trusting people.



Ferdinand
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01 Jun 2010, 7:36 am

zer0netgain wrote:
Same problem here, but I learned quick enough to stop trusting people.


Thing is, I don't want to live life like this. It seems very nihilistic.


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