I feel really selfish...

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I feel really selfish because I get upset when things don't go the way they're supposed to. When I make a plan I intend to stick to it and things that throw me off my schedule really upset me.

Today's example: My sister is coming to get me to take me to visit my parents this weekend. On the phone we left it that she would get me at 12:30. Today she calls me to say she was going to come around 4 instead.

I wish I could say "ok, whatever" but this has thrown off my schedule for tomorrow and I feel angry about it. Especially since she says "around 4" which will probably mean 4:30 or 5. We had a set time for her to come at 12:30 and now she's just coming whenever, "around 4". I can't stand wishy-washy timelines. I want someone to say they are coming at X time and show up exactly at X time.

But I feel selfish for being so upset that she changed the plans. Have you learned any strategies to alleviate the stress and upset that comes with a change in plans like this? I was feeling great before this happened.

I know what you mean. I hate when this happens, but I do not think it is selfishness.

Ya that is annoying when people suddenly change plans. Do your best to adjust to the time change. Did your sister inform you the day of, or the day before? I hate last minute changes.

She informed me an hour ago, about tomorrow. I'll probably adjust to it, I just hate that I get so upset though.

I think the fact that you are able to talk about this so objectively without trying to make out that your sister is a terrible person shows that you are handling it really well. One of my kids struggles with changes in plans and transitions. We try to make it as easy on it as we can, but sometimes things just can't be helped. It's stressful for the family because we hate to see him upset, but that's life sometimes.

You can't always help how you feel, but you (and by "you" I mean any person including myself) can work to control your own behavior. Coming in here to talk about it instead of pitching a fit is a really positive thing to do.

I get upset, when things don't go as planned, but I wouldn't call that selfish.

I hate this too, even if it's something I didn't want to do in the first place, I still get annoyed if it gets cancelled suddenly. Like today I was supposed to go in to work so I got up early and got ready and then my mom called to say she didn't need me to come in. I had planned my day around not being here, so I had no idea of what to do with myself all day. And now I'm not sure if I'm working tomorrow or not but I have made plans to be home so I hope she doesn't change her mind again.

I don't think that's selfish, and I agree with you, people should stick to their plans, they're the ones in the wrong if they don't, not you.

I agree. You might have made plans to fit in around their original plans, and them changing their plans messes that up. People can't expect people to drop things and restructure their day just because they can't stick to what they said they'd do.

Nah, I think you've a right to be annoyed at that. Maybe not too angry, as she is doing you a favour after all, but a few hours is quite a big change.

I feel selfish, when I order myself something related to my special interest, every time I get payed, which is three times a month, with my two pay cheques and my pension. I've come to the conclusion that I should only order something, when my pension comes in. I will save a lot of money, and I won't feel selfish. That's the only time I fee selfish.

She got stuck on the highway so she's even later, but I'm better with it right now. I talked with my therapist about it and she chalked it up to anxiety but I really think it could be AS related.

I'm going to apologize when she gets here and let her know why it bothered me so much.