Too disinterested to take a gift

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I have recently been given an opportunity. A friend of my family is a professor who has offered me guaranteed admission to her program. It is a private school with high standards. With my poor academic record, I would never be admitted otherwise. She has also offered to do everything she can to help with tuition assistance, perhaps covering 60%. Yet, I'm not motivated to take the offer.

The program does not fall within any of my interests. The classes are very small. I'll have to work regularly in groups, write essays instead of take tests ( which are much easier for me), give speeches/presentations, and even if I do complete the program, I don't think I want or would be happy with a job in that field. Then there is the pressure of succeeding, not wasting the tuition, and letting down the professor.

It's ridiculous, I know. I'm unemployed. Have no degree. Live with my parents. I'm doing nothing with my life and have no prospects to be financially independent. I just sit around reading & writing for my pleasure. I'm usually happy with that, but the world isn't.

This is a great opportunity, but I just can't get excited about it. I haven't made a decision yet or talked with the professor since she made the offer. I'm going to have to do something though. And soon.

So I'd really appreciate any words of wisdom. Or even some good motivational slogans. Thanks for reading.

It seems like a really nice offer... but it has disadvantages for you...

When I started working we had a three week course about business and team work. When I started I absolutely did not want to work in teams, but tried anyway. We also had a subject I did not like and I told the advisor in his face. But he was impressed with my results... The last week I knew my limitations and acted more toward them, and I got a higher salary because of my performance.

But it learned me to work in teams on a basic level. So it was important for having the job. Maybe you could consider that. The problem in your case could be the longer length of the program.

If you're not interested, then that should be a red flag that you shouldn't be doing it. Forget about what everyone else wants you to do, and spend time figuring out what you want to do.

Now, I'm not saying to do nothing with your life--you probably do want to be out of the house and on your own sooner than later, and don't want to be a drain on your folks.

However, allow me to share with you a tidbit about my life that I got to thinking about recently, and it thoroughly disgusted me( schyeah, what about my first 20 years at this point virtually doesn't at this point?) thinking about it in detail:

My parents--and pretty much everyone else-- successfully convinced me college was needed to make my life better, or I'd be a screwed kid working for minimum wage with no life prospects.

So, after finally deciding on going to county college, I busted my @$$ round the clock to get my grades up at high school. I pretty much put everything into doing it. I gave up a lot of great things to do it( much like a lot of fellow Autistic folks do here for the hope that they'll one day be as smooth of a socializer as a slick politician; do you see where this is going?), and in fact my grades did go up: my final GPA in high school was a B, which meant I'd technically finally made it to the honor roll, though obviously I wasn't awarded for it or anything, but whatever.

first of all, I thought to myself "that's it? A "B"? A F***ING "B"?! I BUSTED MY @$$ ROUND THE CLOCK DEVOTING ALMOST ALL MY TIME TO STUDIES, AND ALL I HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT IS A GODDA** F***ING "B"?! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! WHAT AN UTTER WASTE!! !! !! !! !! !"

And I tell ya...I never felt like a bigger moron in my whole life; my parents were proud...but they weren't exactly the brightest bulbs in the fridge either, and neither ever made it past Cs themselves...

Regardless, I shut them up about my grades, and went to college....and it was the biggest waste I ever experienced. I just couldn't get interested. At the time, I also had a job, and I must tell you...I got a lot more satisfaction out of working than I ever did in a classroom...ever!

Oh, but wait...I haven't thrown every single wrench into the gear works, yet! Even though I'm now a business owner and loving every minute of it, college nearly turned me off from business, because they made it seem so friggin' boring! Also at the time everyone was still trying to convince me to "try new things, and expand my horizons"( what a load of crap that was, I assure you); so with my Business classes boring me half to death, I had a lot of thinking to do.

Well, here's where the next wrench comes in: switching to a new major or constantly checking out new classes would cost money; money we didn't have. I came to realize the time and money spent if I were to continue pursuing college would've been a humongous waste, especially with the latter being on the more limited side. I took my final class exam for that semester, just barely passed, and never even went back to pick up my certificate.

And no...I don't regret not picking up my certificate; I don't need one to show me that I know what I'm doing in business; my business being around now for two full years this August after investing a very low amount of money compared to what you're supposed to start out with usually is more than enough proof for me.

However, think of all that time, energy, and money that I wasted to get into college....just to find out my parents couldn't afford it, and that I'd have to have pursued college loans which would take me who-knows-how-long to pay off, especially after college did absolutely nothing stimulating for me overall.

That's what taking someone else's recommendation to "please everyone else" got me, and only now ten years later I'm kinda pissed about it.

My point is good sir...follow your heart; if your heart isn't in the college courses, that should raise a red flag not to take them; it'll be time, energy, and money that could be better used elsewhere.

That doesn't mean to just sit on your @$$ all day and do nothing; find out what you love to do, and do something financially lucrative with it; make something of yourself...but find the right path for you to do that. If college isn't it, don't do it for someone else. At the end of the day, nothing good will come of it, and I assure you the "someone else" won't be much happier with the results, either; no one will.

Thank you both for your insight. Thanks especially to, TheDoctor82. I can strongly relate to what you experienced in school. And I have always found work more satisfying than school. It's curious, now that you mention it. I've felt more pride after correctly filing documents in an administrative office than getting a 34 on the ACT. Academic achievement feels hollow to me.

I have many interests, but few of them could be pursued as a career without an advanced degree. I suppose the problem is figuring out how to monetize my interests and talents.

[Edited after Google search revealed your line of business.]
If you don't mind my asking about your business, TheDoctor82, how did you come to realize that being the co-ruler of toys was right for you? And could you recommend any particularly helpful books on small business?

Not at all, good sir!

I own my own internet toy retailer!

In fact, my avatar is a picture of me in "character"( you kinda have to go to my website to fully understand).

I've loved toys all my life, and that never changed at any point( no matter how much everyone tried pressuring me out of toys; oh btw, though..they did get me out of action figures for a while, though I stuck with Legos instead until returning to my original love; yeah, I question to this day if my surrounding folks honestly did give a damn about what I wanted at all).

Anyway, the first hint that I should probably do something with toys came when I was around 11 years old, in '93. My folks were watching the news, and they had some coverage about the economy or something( when ISN'T it about the economy? society is braindead to economics...), and I remember part of it showed some woman working in a toy store talking about the effects.

I kept thinking to myself "wouldn't it be cool to own my own toy store? Ah,....but I'm told in a few years I'll no longer be interested in them, as I'll be growing out with them; it was a nice thought, though...."

Around the time I was a Sophomore in high school, my love of toys returned full-throttle; school was actually so emotionally torturous, that I actually started bringing toy guides, toy magazines, and a few Lego figures with me to school all the time; believe me, they certainly helped get me thru the day.

Along the way, considered a few other possible career paths including: auctioneer, jeweler( I kid you not), writer for a popular toy magazine, and even a puppeteer; at one point I even wanted to one day own the Muppets..no joke! Plus of course I heard the popular "you're gonna change your mind a million times" to which I now say "well I wouldn't have, if everyone had just supported me in what I loved to do! Sadly that wasn't the case, now was it?! !!"

Well, finally around my Senior year I believe, I decided I was focused on doing my own mail-order business; once again I was advised to "expand my horizons" before jumping into anything( sounding like a pattern to you?).

So for a while between then and after college( when college successfully made business seem unbearably dull to me), I had no idea what I wanted to do, and for a few years I just continued working and paying my bills.

While working for a movie store chain, I was there go-to guy for action figures, and was so popular at my job for it, they made me the head of that department; no, I didn't get any more money, but it didn't matter: I loved the title of the job, and the responsibilities that went with it. No, my family wasn't really that thrilled with it, but what else was new? Anyway, I thought I might want to be a buyer for their chain. Don't remember why, but I later decided against it; oh, and btw...the retail chain all but went under, so no biggie.

Shortly after I started a new job, I went to a comic shop one day with my friend; it was there that I decided: I want to run my own toy store.

You kinda just had to be there; my mouth dropped...it was all so beautiful.

A co-worker of mine recommended I pursue it online due to how expensive it would be offline, which I did.

Smart man, and I'm glad I followed my dream.

But yes, I was pressured at every friggin' turn to just do what everyone else wanted; let's just say I've come to resent such incredible stupidity, and thankfully I'll have better advice for my own little ones eventually...like, when I actually have 'em

Thank you again for your insight, TheDoctor82. That is an interesting story. Sorry about the edit, I couldn't resist investigating and quickly found your store after my original post of that question. It seems you've built a fine business there. Though I'm disappointed you don't have any of the new Doctor Who toys yet .

Stay tuned