I don't feel love and romance like I feel I should
People are talking about asexuality like it's something pathological--how absolutely silly that is!
We're finally getting the idea that there's no mental illness involved with being in love with the same gender or the opposite gender; but the second somebody says, "Neither, actually," people are still looking at them like they're a bit touched in the head.
We've got to get rid of the idea that everybody wants love. No, everybody does not want love, whether or not the movies assume that they do. Asexuality is real and it's got nothing to do with being some kind of freak. It's just natural variation of the human sex drive.
People forget there are two dimensions, at the very least, to human sexuality--not just attraction, but intensity. High intensity means someone who really, really wants love, and builds his life around finding it. Low intensity means someone whose priorities are elsewhere, who is indifferent to romance. There are people all along the line from those two extremes. And then there's the physical versus emotional dimension; you can be physically attracted, but not emotionally attracted, or want emotional intimacy but not sex. It's a great deal more complex than people make it out to be.
Unfortunately, we're still lucky to have "gay versus straight" even have entered the public mind as a form of natural variation. Anything more complicated than that generally has people tilting their heads and going, "You're a whaaaat?"
_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com
Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com
I'm the latter. Where do these people exist? I don't want to live alone for the rest of my life. Is it hopeless?
I think we need to better define what you expect (and expect to feel) from a relationship.
This link might help. At least as a starting point.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love
or look after them when they are sick or hurt...
So there are a maximum of three components to a relationship, and you've listed two.
*You are comfortable around them. This means you have intimacy.
*You care for them and want them to be well. This (I think) qualifies as commitment.
The missing component then, is passion. Sexual attraction. Either you didn't mention it or you haven't experienced these feelings yet. As others have mentioned, you could also be asexual.
The much celebrated and mythologized qualities of love can usually be reduced to the initial cascade of hormones which gives rise to strong passion. This often wanes with time.
It sounds like you aren't missing much.
Your romantic life won't necessarily be what you see done in Hollywood productions, dude.
I love my girlfriend more than anything; but I show my love for her in my own way...not the way necessarily society dictates I should.
My own family I don't feel actual love for; I like my mom's side a lot, but I don't feel the emotion of love for them that NTs do.
It's apparently normal for Autistic people.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
I feel embarrassed
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
11 Apr 2024, 2:36 am |
Do not feel like talking |
03 Apr 2024, 1:04 am |
Should I feel bad for having few friends |
Yesterday, 5:12 am |
I feel so invisible |
11 Apr 2024, 10:04 pm |