your own turn-offs

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^^ and i noticed that "short" was the first thing that came into ur mind abt what u hate abt male like if height is the most important thing in a guy even before personality or the worst thing that a male can have is a short height .... hmm weird the minds of women.

anyway name the unattractive things abt u !

It wasn't the first thing that came to my mind.. I just listed them off randomly.

What I dislike most about people is awful teeth.



I'd really rather not dwell on negative things, it just makes people more self concious if they're always listing and drawing attention to whats wrong with them. I'm not listing anything.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 18 Apr 2006, 4:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

bossy
nagging
anxiety
emotional
clingy
likes organising the other person
memory problems
tall
short hair
can be shy after knowing someone for years
pms

this is an interesting thread even if it's negative..hmm

That is true, but there is also a potential positive side to it. After identifying these things in yourself, you can then decide to try changing them if you wish. Or if it is something you do not want to change, then it helps clear it in your mind that you want to look for people who do not see this particular attribute of yourself as a problem or at least who can accept it.

I already know mine they are. I already know if they can be changed or not. Going around telling people how awful you are is not going to find you a date, no matter how hard you want to think it does.

OK, so for you, the exercise has no value; you are already clear. That is great. But other people might be less clear than yourself and so might find the exercise useful.



Agreed. People will probably just think you are trying to garner their sympathy. I do not think I or LePetitPrince was suggesting going around telling people or using it as a method to get dates. It is more of a therapeutic exercise to do by yourself at home, but if people want to share their results here, I am not complaining.

Personally, I am like you in that I do not wish to and have not posted my list here, except for mentioning 1 thing. But I will think about it in the privacy of my own mind because I think there is some therapeutic value to the exercise if one is not already clear about it.

- I'm not real sexually motivated

- I'm definitely not a shmoozer

- When I overload I tend to look unconfident

- I can't imagine hyperhydrosis and clammy hands being a turn-on. Thankfully its not as bad as some people's but if a girl wants to sleep while holding me like a teddybear it's just excruciating - she'll wake up, realize I'm not sleeping with her, and she'll take it personally sometimes.

- I still sometimes have this strange compulsive urge, mostly when overloaded, for my eyes to latch onto a woman the second the walks into the room sometimes - REALLY BAD I know...

- I tend not to think of them or do that much for them if I'm not careful

- I get the feeling that a lot of them don't get the kind of emotional charge out of me that they'd want

- I have much more of a tendency to love with my mind and not my heart, I'll still feel it emotionally but in a nontraditional sense of course where it's not gratifying them as much sometimes.

- Something about the way I look tends to get churchgirls or the real innocent-moody types into me who then seem real saddened when they realize whatever personality typed they were assuming I had isn't there (and they used to go on their assumptions without checking to see who I really was). Good thing is they're getting less skiddish, more world-wise, I think I may have a better and better chance in that court.

- liking harder/darker music probably bugs a lot of women out (though not the types I'm really into)

- some women, maybe a lot, need something in a guy that they can really be a mom about and criticize or direct him on, I have myself together at least by IRL appearances a little too well to where I'm not any fun in that respect.

- I'm a real slow-mover and if it's up to me it could be 2 or 3 dates before I put the first move on her.

- If she wants a guy who's never done drugs, doesn't think like he's done drugs, or isn't in any way connected with that kind of psychology or culture she definitely needs to keep looking

- If she brings drama I usually won't let her get away with things (that's supposed to be a good thing but I think I need to be more emotionally charged or play a bit more parental with it than I do)

*giggle* If your overload looks anything like mine (I'm guessing it does), isn't 'unconfident' a bit of an understatement? I can think of a few harsher words...

Geez, thanks for the support...

-looking weird gesturally etc, especially during overload

-a little too blunt sometimes

-very little tolerance for small talk, social chit chat, people who talk a lot, drama, loud people... with facial expressions that unfortunately broadcast exactly what I think when I encounter that stuff

-don't enjoy a whole lot of social interaction - I enjoy being around people but I don't really interact with them (I'm more of a spectator), which probably comes across as weird at best

-don't enjoy a lot of physical contact (mostly because of sensory issues)

-obsessive thinking that probably gets pretty annoying for the other person when I get stuck on a subject

-not outgoing, definitely not spontaneous, kinda boring to be around

-lost in my own thoughts a lot of the time, not focusing on the people around me the way I should be

-too quiet, and when I do say something I seem to have a magical way of really confusing people - weird angles or a weird train of thought I guess

-difficulty with responding to other people's emotional needs even though I can see what the needs are

I don't know how but by some magic that's been going a way a bit for me.



ditto, though I'm hoping that as I get over my past and a lot things that kind of jarred it out of me that may come arround.

Well, I know how weird I tend to look... just when I start to forget (so I don't worry about it so much), I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or whatever and reality sinks in again. Hopefully you don't have it quite as bad. And yeah, you know you have all the support you can stand from me.

Lol, this is like a hangout thread - it's turning into a conversation between the two of us. Hope we don't kill the thread...

If you figure it out be sure to let me know. I don't know if you've seen my other recent posts on this - my sister's boyfriend seems to have the same thing and the two of us have whole conversations all the time that nobody else can follow. It's nice to have someone who can understand me like that (there are a few other people too), but it would definitely be better if NTs could understand me.

pfff no silly girl!!:lol: ...did I suggest to tell ur weaknesses around like idiots in real life ?? hello?? this is a forum ....and it s a place where u can vent ....u don't need to say everyting u said here to the ppl u know in the real life .

Personally I just don't care. I'm not down on myself at all about these things, I just prefer to be real and let people know I'm real. That and, IMO, it takes guts for a lot of people to say things like this.

And HB, it's not at all about trying to get a date by telling people your weak points. It's letting the next person know that no one's perfect, we all have our struggles, and that as much as some people might not talk about those things that they really aren't alone.

I don't want people here to know them either tbph.