your own turn-offs
techstepgenr8tion
Veteran
Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 24,182
Location: 28th Path of Tzaddi
pfff how no silly and girl!!:lol: ...did I suggest to tell your weaknesses around like idiots in real life ?? hello?? this is a forum ....and it s a place where u can vent ....u don't need to say everyting u said here to the ppl u know in the real life .
Personally I just don't care. I'm not down on myself at all about these things, I just prefer to be real and let people know I'm real. That and, IMO, it takes guts for a lot of people to say things like this.
And HB, it's not at all about trying to get a date by telling people your weak points. It's letting the next person know that no one's perfect, we all have our struggles, and that as much as some people might not talk about those things that they really aren't alone.
_________________
“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word "love" here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace - not in the infantile American sense of being made happy but in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth.” - James Baldwin
pfff no silly girl!!:lol: ...did I suggest to tell your weaknesses around like idiots in real life ?? hello?? this is a forum ....and it s a place where u can vent ....u don't need to say everyting u said here to the ppl u know in the real life .
I don't want people here to know them either tbph.
D'oh! I edited my last post so that it now says my mistake. Okay. Here are the traits I myself have that are potential turn offs for others:
-I'm waaaaaay too passionate about my political and religious beliefs (pacifist, atheist, anti-republican, anti-democrat, anti-corporation, pro-environment, etc.)
-I'm really moody
-I'm relatively shy and don't talk to people first in most cases
-I don't like touching or being touched by people unless I know them well
-I talk/act awkwardly, always with a sort of insecurity
-My interest pallette is very limited--I can't talk about much
-I'm limited in what I can do, eat, be around, etc. because otherwise I get overwhelmed
-When I'm overwhelmed I get very intense and am not very nice to be around
-I got loads of zit scars
-I'm very thin
-I don't have the most common taste in films and what not
-I'm uber cynical, but with an emphesis on morality. Most cynics aren't moral; most "moral" people aren't cynics
-I hate a LOT of music even though I really like some of it (movie soundtracks and industrial/gothic, for example)
-I'm a gamer
-I'm extremely geeky and obsessed with films and other entertainment forms, with a near-encyclopedic knowledge in some cases--this is intimidating and annoying to most people
-I'm rather pathetic because I'm almost always depressed or angry, and don't always attempt to hide that
-My blogging is constant (a long entry almost daily) and most people are too busy to keep up with it
-I'm extremely clumsy.
-I'm always coughing up snot these days (I need to see an alergist, this has gone on for half a year now)
-I'm openly profane and don't care who my words offend, because as far as I'm concerned they're a part of the vernacular, and while I'm happy to use more complex, less common words, that doesn't mean I can't casually curse, too
-I hate drugs (coffee and alchohol included), and raves, and all that, so most of the people who like me for my cynicism and swearing are disillusioned anyway
-I get reaaaally obsessive people fixations/crushes.... >.<
-I'm a sloppy eater, as well as a super picky one.
-I'm an extremely insecure worrywart.
-I sometimes act immature or childish due to lots of bottled up anger.
-I'm so self-analytical that it borderlines on narccicism, even though most of what I say about myself is usually not very positive....
techstepgenr8tion
Veteran
Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 24,182
Location: 28th Path of Tzaddi
Yeah, I tend to be eye-contact avoidant unless I'm talking to someone. Usually I think seeming calm and assertive in other ways can take the edge off of it but then again I think that's more when just talking to other guys, women I think tend not to let it slide since (at least I get the impression) they tend to prequalify and confidence-test a guy a lot on it specifically.
_________________
“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word "love" here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace - not in the infantile American sense of being made happy but in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth.” - James Baldwin
I'm eye contact avoidant all the time. With most people I'll try a bit but I really can't handle much at all, even with people I'm close to. There are only a few people I can do it with, and with those people it happens very naturally - I don't even have to think about it. It's weird how that works. Those rare people usually tend to have wiring similar to ours.
What I wanted to mention though was that I find women seem to expect eye contact more even if you're not a guy. I'll be saying something and suddenly halfway through, I'll remember the eye contact part - I'll try some for a second and with women I'll see that they're giving me a really weird look. It's almost enough to throw off my train of thought so I forget what I was even saying. With guys though it's not usually that bad, no weird looks or anything. Maybe it's not just the lack of eye contact, it's probably other factors too like body language, facial expressions, general presence, etc but the point is that women do definitely seem to have higher expectations when it comes to that nonverbal stuff. Guys are easier to talk to. I can see how that makes things harder for you though, as a single guy... I even notice that if I'm out in public somewhere, not talking to anyone (like if I'm shopping or whatever), it's normal for me to get some wierd looks from people and it's definitely more from the women. (Yesterday I was at the grocery store and I noticed that for the first time in a while I wasn't getting any of those 'looks' at all. I wish I knew what I was doing differently...)
All I can think of for now:
Stubborn
Insecure
Boring
Hate being touched
Say rude things without thinking first
Bossy in a relationship
Easily irritated
Low self-esteem
Keep bad feelings bottled up inside and then explode at inappropriate times
Weird eating habits
Don't think about what other people want (selfish)
Fussy
Not very smart
Embarrassing to other people in public
Strange looking
Not romance oriented
Can seem unfriendly when meeting someone new
.......
autistic. I'm face blind and feelings blind. I can detect something is different but I haven't the slightest what or how to fix it
Insecure
Shy
low talker
Not as defined physically as I'd like to be
Some acne scarring
Beard bumps from shaving
My dreadlocks are breaking up
asthmatic
I can be easily discouraged
I need alot of re-assurance from my mate
Sometimes i get too horny for my own good
1: Short/Medium height (5' 9")
2: Overweight (80 kg)
3: Round, moony, chinless face
4: Semi-hooked, slightly larger-than average nose
5: Crooked, devious-looking eyebrows
6: Crooked front teeth
7: Nasal, monotonous voice
8: Lack of confidence and street cred
9: Moderate facial tics
11: Shyness
12: Bad temper
In short, I would have better luck at finding a shaved monkey writing Shakespeare than being considered attractive.