It's my turn to do the "Hi, I'm new" thread. My name is Scott.
My mom and I agree I've been different all my life, but we never had words for it. I understand what it is meant by "environmental insult", and, with each major milestone, my symptoms have gotten worse. At first I was blissfully unaware, then I was aware but sheltered, but I continued to get worse. I struggled through and then failed my 4 years of college. I took on extremely hard and stressful jobs that frankly were beyond me. Finally I got fired for absenteeism. No job meant filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy (I had accrued several thousand dollars of credit card debt.) My comorbid psychiatric conditions allowed me to be on SSDI. I *did* finally pay off my student loans, probably the only financial success of my life.
In September I had the big milestone 40th birthday. My therapist and I began wondering about an Asperger's DX. I began an intense period of research and study.
In March I was at my lowest point. A combination of problems had me hospitalized for severe suicidal ideation (I had a loaded gun). Now I have hospital bills.
I continue to mess up my monthly finances. I'm trying to pay off my debt so I can then save money for a formal evaluation.
I am extremely depressed. Some days I hide in my room. I'm 40 years old and only now am I starting to piece information together to have some idea of the cause of my life problems. In all of my life, *no one* has been qualified to help me.
So, that's who I am....the 40 year old late bloomer. Hopefully I will continue to learn (from hanging out at WP!) Get someone qualified to evaluate me and point me in a better direction.
And, hopefully I am not the only one out there that feels like this.
20 Jun 2010, 9:28 pm
