Discrete Rudeness. People invading your TIME

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I think there's a type of rudeness that's overlooked in our society, and it's a pet peeve of mine.

The rude act in question is committed by certain individuals in the form of taking advantage of your politeness to pitch something to you.

These individuals are usually sales people, or motivational speakers, or even certain religious missionaries.

I was always told I shouldn't interrupt someone, or walk away when they're talking to me, and to always be civil, but the only way I can seem to stop these people from harassing me with their sales pitch is to commit one of these rude indiscretions.

If someone is trying to sell me something, whether it's a concept or an item, I usually just want them to get to the point.

How do you deal with people like this?

Sometimes I think it might be fun to turn it around on them. "Oh, how about that, say what do you think about (insert wacko offbeat topic; example, tinfoil hats, conspiracies, obscure video game, anime available only in Japanese, computer innards, trains, dog breeds, Kaiju movies, etc.), and then start on-and-on-ing about it as we all do so well.

But basically, they are counting on you to be polite and maybe even agree with them in order not to be rude. But THEY are being rude to blather at you. Often you can cut them off by saying thanks for thinking of me, but I have to go now, or I'm not interested, or whatever. If you thank them first it makes it seem less rude.

the last time i was pestered, some guy was trying to coerce me into reading the bible. he started prattling on and on about how i should deepen my relationship with god and i was like "ahhhh-hahaha! sounds awesome!! !" and he was like "really, i think you should come pick up a free bible at such-and-such place" and i was like "oh-kay. i can't wait! THANKS!"
..then he just walked away.

I just tell them "Don't talk to me!" in a slightly hysterical way. They look at me like I am insane and walk away. Works for me...

Tell them "I'm not interested, sorry." That way, you've been polite, and if they continue to make their pitch, their intrusion into your time is rudeness, and you are justified in walking away and ignoring them. Politeness does not extend to being a doormat.

I agree entirely and I think what's been talked about here would also extend simply into conversation when you're talking to a monologuer. Or not so much talking as receiving a lecture from them. That's also a situation where you have to interrupt to be able to take part in the 'conversation' at all, which would be downright rude, but it's a situation I seem to be in ALL the time.

[quote="Polgara"]Sometimes I think it might be fun to turn it around on them. "Oh, how about that, say what do you think about (insert wacko offbeat topic; example, tinfoil hats, conspiracies, obscure video game, anime available only in Japanese, computer innards, trains, dog breeds, Kaiju movies, etc.), and then start on-and-on-ing about it as we all do so well./quote]
I've done this a few times. Breaking out into a long monotone diatribe about an obsession sends these guys running for cover everytime.

i do not let anyone flog their wares to me. i always know what i want, and i go and get it if i want it.

how dare anyone walk into my yard and tell me about something they want me to buy?

a few days ago, i was getting in my car to go out, and 2 men came to the side of my car and tried to engage my attention, and i told them that i was in a hurry.

one of them said "but sir! you need to know about the offer we have available for you", and i told them "i do not care what it is you are flogging, i do not want it!" and i started to back out, and they became annoyed. i got out of my car and i told them to get off my property or i would ring the police, so they went, but they said swear words to me as i backed out.

the bastards! i know what i want and i am not going to be told i want anything that i am not on my way to get.

I had one earlier. "I've got a survey, blah blah, will only take a minute." I told them I didn't have a minute, I was scheduled to die in 5 seconds, and put the phoen down. I think it's called a phone because it's only phoneys who ever ring me. I've already got a billion other stupid things occupying my valuable mind space. Mental pollution is what it is. It should be criminalized.

aha I know what you mean, and im not scared to just walk away, I hate it when im in the mall and when you walk by a kiosk and they want to try something on you, in this instance they wanted to straigten my hair so I would buy a straightener and you cant say to them "no thanks" or "I already have a straightener" because it does not work and they will be like "no no this one is better!" or "your hair will look good straight!" er its so annoying, so I just walk away. Or try to take a detour from them talking to me.

I hate this, but never know how to get rid of them. I simply just sit/stand and hear(I don't listen), and shake my head, take whatever leaflet or whatever, and breathe a great sigh of relief when they're done.

Those sales tactics are targeted at NTs... they don't know how to get out of them while being polite, and the easiest, most direct way is to say, "Sure! I'll buy it!"

But we don't want to reward a slimy, manipulative sales person with buying their product. Keep in mind your reason for wanting to act NT... mine is to make friends. This is a sales person who's, quite frankly, a jerk. Just be your direct Aspie self. They're talking... they're talking... there's an opening! "I'm not interested in your product. I'm going to leave." Are they mad at you? Who cares! That's ALSO a manipulative trick... they're trying to guilt you into listening to their entire pitch. But you don't have to listen to their entire pitch. In fact, listening to their entire pitch would be a disservice to them. If you don't intend on buying the product, you're just wasting their time. That's time they could be spending making a sale!

Those sales tactics are targeted at NTs... they don't know how to get out of them while being polite, and the easiest, most direct way is to say, "Sure! I'll buy it!"

But we don't want to reward a slimy, manipulative sales person with buying their product. Keep in mind your reason for wanting to act NT... mine is to make friends. This is a sales person who's, quite frankly, a jerk. Just be your direct Aspie self. They're talking... they're talking... there's an opening! "I'm not interested in your product. I'm going to leave." Are they mad at you? Who cares! That's ALSO a manipulative trick... they're trying to guilt you into listening to their entire pitch. But you don't have to listen to their entire pitch. In fact, listening to their entire pitch would be a disservice to them. If you don't intend on buying the product, you're just wasting their time. That's time they could be spending making a sale!