bullying at high school
That's really good news. Well done you.
I wouldn't worry too much about feeling depressed either. I've been there and the one thing I have finally learnt that helps is that there is actually nothing wrong with me. Yes I feel miserable (at times) but that is entirely normal. Any loving parent would feel the way you feel in your situation. It's soul destroying to see your child suffer day in, day out. Pills won't make you feel better, taking action and getting her into a safe environment will.
And don't forget, as a last resort, your daughter's school have a legal obligation to protect her. If all else fails, read them the riot act. Go see the headteacher. Tell them that, as they know, your daughter has a legal disability. She is being harrassed at school because of that disability and the school are failing in their duties to protect her. Tell them that it stops, and it stops today. You want to know exactly what they are going to do to protect her and how they are going to ensure it happens. And tell them that if they fail to do this you will be reporting them to the Equalities and Human Rights Commission and you'll see them in court.
The anti-bullying meeting was very good. I have booked an appointment for my daughter to see our GP, so that (hopefully) she can have time off school without us incurring the wrath of the LEA, as she is now refusing to go to school full stop. And I have some suggestions for school. We saw clips of Nick Dubin's video, which looked really insightful, and I have ordered that, partly to watch the whole thing myself, but also I thought I could take it into school and suggest they watch it. By 'they' I mean, initially, the teachers involved in supporting AS children, but also I think it'd be really good if the children watched the video, as part of an autism awareness day, say. Nick Dubin talks about why bullies bully... to increase their social status... and it seems to me that is what is fundamentally missing in our school's response. It sees every incident as a separate incident, it doesn't see the big picture, it doesn't understand that children bully because it increases their status in the group... and if you don't understand why the problem happens, how can you hope to change it? So I am hoping that with the new school year in september and the change of staff that is coming with that, school will be more open to suggestions that there are some things they might be able to improve.
Also it was great just to talk to other parents of children on the autistic spectrum, because I haven't had the opportunity to do that before. There's a local group that meets once a month, so that should help.
DenvrDave
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Joined: 17 Sep 2009
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 790
Location: Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
My son has been in martial arts for a year, and it has helped greatly in all aspects of his life: self-confidence, socializing, respect for authority figures, physical health, organizational skills, anger management, etc. Strongly recommended.
Martial arts came up as a suggestion at the bullying seminar I went to today, so it sounds like a lot of people find it helpful. My daughter is very much in 'don't want to do that' mode about anything at all that involves meeting new people at the moment, but I think that after she's had a proper break from the stress of school she may be more amenable to ideas. I thought I could find a martial arts group that isn't in our immediate locality, then she won't have to worry that anyone from school will be there. Do you think all martial arts are equally suitable or should I be looking for a specific form? She went to aikido classes years ago, and didn't enjoy them, but that was when she was a tiny child, so may be irrelevant.
DenvrDave
Veteran
Joined: 17 Sep 2009
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 790
Location: Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
IMHO, the form doesn't matter. The most important thing is the teacher. A good teacher can motivate even the most reluctant student. A not-so-good teacher can make the experience unenjoyable. Most karate schools will allow you to observe their classes as an audience member, and they will let kids try out a class in street clothes before you make a commitment. Suggest you look at all the options in your area, observe a couple of their classes and watch the teacher-student interactions, and then privately interview all the teachers. Best of luck!
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