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insincere
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26 Jun 2010, 4:52 am

Clinical studies have shown that everybodies health can suffer if they are not fullfillled socialy at some point (Eric Berne M.D., Games People Play). For some that means everyday, others much less but without it you will die. So what does it for you?

I think for me simply by reduction, all I have left nowdays is my golf game. The one guy in town that can out drive me is 6'6" and he has an advantage on me that I cannot compete with. I rarely get any credit cause my short game is usually lousy but nobody can argue that I hit the deepest



Moog
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26 Jun 2010, 5:15 am

I don't know. I like it when someone appreciates what I do. I like it when people laugh at my jokes, or find my line of thought interesting. Is that ego stroking? I guess so.


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Ferdinand
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26 Jun 2010, 6:03 am

I doubt you will die if you don't socialize. Insanity, perhaps?

I talk on WP. :D



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26 Jun 2010, 6:57 am

I brag about my high school career. The good grades I got.


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26 Jun 2010, 7:03 am

I like when people tell me I am weird or interesting :)



Brainfre3ze_93
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26 Jun 2010, 7:06 am

When I solved a complex math problem, that confuses my parents. :lol:



Exclavius
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26 Jun 2010, 7:26 am

When things I have an expertise in, help people with problems they have.
ie... By helping people.

I think it's from a deep seeded belief that I'm not worthy as just a friend... so I need to do something for someone to compensate for it.
It could also be that I need an excuse to be social, and that doing things for people gives me that excuse.
Or it could be residual christian crap left behind... that self-sacrifice thing. *shivers at the thought*



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26 Jun 2010, 7:46 am

insincere wrote:
Clinical studies have shown that everybodies health can suffer if they are not fullfillled socialy at some point (Eric Berne M.D., Games People Play). For some that means everyday, others much less but without it you will die. So what does it for you?

I think for me simply by reduction, all I have left nowdays is my golf game. The one guy in town that can out drive me is 6'6" and he has an advantage on me that I cannot compete with. I rarely get any credit cause my short game is usually lousy but nobody can argue that I hit the deepest


Sounds like you're connecting "social fulfillment" to a social situation that you are dominant at. Getting one up on people is good for an ego boost, but I don't see how that leads to "social fulfillment". I assumed that when people like Eric Berne talk about this, they mean having social contact where you are valued for your person, not just feeling good rubbing everybody elses noses in it by hitting a little ball further than they can.


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jagatai
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26 Jun 2010, 9:15 am

I like to stand out as being able to do something few others can do. Biking up a mountain, making an entertaining film, taking a good photograph.

I have to keep pushing myself to do better than I have previously done because as soon as I get over the high of having done something well, it becomes my baseline and I don't feel good unless I can do better than that. It leads to a feeling that I am never good enough but it also pushes me on to do better and better work.

I like getting praise from others, but in the end, I think what really matters is MY sense of the quality of my work.


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Apple_in_my_Eye
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26 Jun 2010, 6:13 pm

Uh oh, guess I'm dead meat then. :lol:



insincere
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26 Jun 2010, 11:33 pm

Sounds like you're connecting "social fulfillment" to a social situation that you are dominant at. Getting one up on people is good for an ego boost, but I don't see how that leads to "social fulfillment". I assumed that when people like Eric Berne talk about this, they mean having social contact where you are valued for your person, not just feeling good rubbing everybody elses noses in it by hitting a little ball further than they can.


It's more like I enjoy the feeling that people have to recognize my talents as a ball stiker, and respect my opinion on mechanics. I love to talk about mechanics, swings, and golf game but people are very standoffish when it comes to critisims of their swings, it is something they identify themselves with and while most people need help, they try and find a way to maintain that they are doing it right....when it comes to distance the goal is clear, there is no skirting the issue because everybody wants to hit the ball the furthest.



JCpatriots
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26 Jun 2010, 11:41 pm

Mine would be I guess people complimenting me for losing a lot of weight and saying I look really good. It's a good feeling. :) That's the more recent thing. But just in general, I like it when people are interested in stuff I'm talking about, laugh at jokes, etc.



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27 Jun 2010, 12:53 am

I cannot take a compliment I always assume the person is lying to me to get something out of me.



LiendaBalla
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27 Jun 2010, 10:38 am

One person about once a week, for two hours, is about the maximum I really need for attention. Acknowledgment would be great, since I got very little of it in life. Then again, compliments would feel way too strange. :scratch:



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27 Jun 2010, 12:04 pm

I don't trust transactional analysis. It's a fundamentally shallow, ethics-free view of human motivation and doesn't apply to my life in the slightest. I find the whole "strokes" concept aversive.


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arecibo_
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27 Jun 2010, 1:49 pm

I just like being told I'm nice or friendly, that's all I need, but any other compliment can do too haha, I love getting my ego stroked. Although sometimes I find it weird and think that they're pitying me or trying to be nice to use me for something.