Well she fit say... most of the symptoms of NPD, but what struck me later on..
Was she fit EVERY SINGLE symptom of borderline personality disorder..
"A commonly used mnemonic to remember the features of the borderline personality disorder is PRAISE:
* P - Paranoid ideas
* R - Relationship instability
* A - Angry outbursts, affective instability, abandonment fears
* I - Impulsive behaviour, identity disturbance
* S - Suicidal behaviour
* E - Emptiness
"
(from wikipedia)
Yup, every single one fits her exactly, she accuses me of sleeping with her friends, everytime we're comfortable together and I start to feel secure she loses the plot, she seems to be terrified I don't actually like her yet explodes in anger sometimes when everything seems fine, she definately has problems with identity, each day she becomes someone else yet the similarity is she never knows who the hell she is at all. Suicidal behaviour, yup. And emptiness is a big yep.
So.. she fits the entire description, I've suggested it to her lightly, tried to get her to share this with her shrink, but she honestly believes nothing is wrong with her, she actually called me today (after abusing me and laughing while I broke down then hanging up last night) and when I asked bout last night she didn't even think she'd done anything wrong!! !
That is ridiculous, how can someone be oblivious to horrible words and actions, I truly don't understand it, they werent subtle by any means. I truly think she is stuck in two places, one of them idolises me, one of them despises me, so I'm constantly thrown between the two.
What I thought was lies, was more likely her side that adores me..
It stems from childhood abuse, so I can't hold it against her, but do you think its best if I leave her be? Its seriously killing me how every few days I'm told so many horrible things about myself, just as I open myself up to her.
Though I've already forgiven her, I'm getting worse by the day, in terms of its making me really depressed, and I don't even have any energy to do anything I'm focused on, which is tearing me apart.
I don't have a clue what to do, maybe just give her some time and space.
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All hail the new flesh, cause it suits me fine!