What is your relationship status?

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What is your relationship status?
Single and Looking 23%  23%  [ 90 ]
Single and Looking 23%  23%  [ 90 ]
Single, not Looking 12%  12%  [ 48 ]
Single, not Looking 12%  12%  [ 48 ]
Married 5%  5%  [ 18 ]
Married 5%  5%  [ 18 ]
Engaged 1%  1%  [ 2 ]
Engaged 1%  1%  [ 2 ]
de facto 0%  0%  [ 1 ]
de facto 0%  0%  [ 1 ]
Long term relationship 5%  5%  [ 19 ]
Long term relationship 5%  5%  [ 20 ]
swinger 1%  1%  [ 2 ]
swinger 1%  1%  [ 2 ]
single, but have sex 2%  2%  [ 6 ]
single, but have sex 2%  2%  [ 6 ]
Internet Relationship 2%  2%  [ 9 ]
Internet Relationship 2%  2%  [ 9 ]
Long distance relationship (not internet) 1%  1%  [ 4 ]
Long distance relationship (not internet) 1%  1%  [ 5 ]
Total votes : 400

sociable_hermit
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22 Oct 2006, 4:47 am

Sounds pretty serious to me! What happens if you mention this at a time when she is calm?


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Aspie_Chav
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22 Oct 2006, 6:13 am

I am dying to know how many aspies married are woman or are rich. It could tell us a lot



MrMark
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22 Oct 2006, 6:40 am

I was married for 12 years. I'm spiritually rich. I make enough money that I can save $3600 a year. Does that count?

My neighbor wishes he made 60, 80, 100k a year so he could just buy whatever he wants without thinking about it. Kinda turns me off.


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RobertN
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22 Oct 2006, 6:44 am

Single and Looking.



Scintillate
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22 Oct 2006, 12:57 pm

"Sounds pretty serious to me! What happens if you mention this at a time when she is calm?"


Spoke to her calmly, we talked on the phone for hours (never have been able to talk on the phone for more than a minute with someone) and we even decided on a way to work together :)

I explained to her exactly why the meltdowns happen, and we worked out a way so that she's not right with me when it happens... The beautiful thing is she is VERY independant, so we only wanna hang out like once or twice a week, she is very social otherwise, and I spend the rest of my time alone..

I've had too many girlfriends, every single one ended in intense fights over a period of a month, to months, and this is the first girl that hung around after a few meltdowns, I knew she was something special after being able to tolerate something like that.

Though its been VERY hard for both of us, and I nearly blocked her out entirely, we worked it out through communication, through the phone, HONESTY being most important.

I think being yourself is the most important thing, if you can be confident at what you do, you can inspire someone, if you can inspire someone, they may be able to love you..

Well thats my experience anyhow


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Yupa
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22 Oct 2006, 3:14 pm

I was recently very politely rejected, but I'm really hoping the girl I asked out changes her mind. It's unlikely, but it could happen.



sociable_hermit
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22 Oct 2006, 5:12 pm

Scintillate - I'm glad you both managed to work things out, and I agree with what you're saying on the communications and honesty front.


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diseased
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22 Oct 2006, 5:32 pm

Quite happily married. 6 years now, 2.5 year 1,500 mile courtship prior.
2nd marriage for both of us, both previous marriages were disasters.
Since we've been married, we've been apart for exactly 9 days in the past 6 years and we wouldn't have it any other way.
Not even remotely co-dependent... just very much in love with each other, with a nice big dose of social anxiety disorder for her and AS/etc for me, so we're totally fine with being hermits.
To those single and looking, I wish you the best of luck and hope you find your, if the term's not too saccharine, soulmate soon.



Scintillate
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22 Oct 2006, 10:18 pm

Beautiful to hear (read :P)


Additional emotion rant:

It turns out I'm much more easily manipulated than I thought, what I thought was truth and honesty, was her telling me "I love you" and 3 hours later telling me I'm annoying, and boring, and repetetive, and egotistical, and wasting her time..

The next day its back to "I love you" so I say calmly "do you realise last night you laughed at me as I was having a breakdown, you realised I was upset, insulted me about 10 times, then hung up"

She actually claims she doesn't even know what she did, which I find absolutely ridiculous, its obvious I've been played as a total fool.

Can't believe what I saw as a secure and growing relationship was actually the means for a narcissist to build me up and smash me down again, feeding off my pain again..

So... new status, single, and not looking for a while, I'm sick of attracting only the kind of women that abuse the s**t out of me simply to see me lose it..

It may sound like I'm prejudice or ignoring the possibility that she's doing it by accident, but to laugh at someone when you know they're in serious pain is disgusting, something is seriously wrong with her.

Turns out I'm very easy to manipulate, if someone says they love me, I find it impossible to believe that could be anything but entirely the truth... It sounds stupid, but this has happened over 10 times, each time I entirely blamed myself for "over-reacting" or "misunderstanding"

Whats to misunderstand about someone that claims they love you, laughs at your pain, then tells you to f**k off when you ask them the question "so what does this actually mean?"

f**k it makes me so angry at myself for being so stupid, for being so naive.

So yeh, what I thought to be a beautiful relationship in the works, was in reality her building up my trust and confidence, and waiting till I showed a weakness, to throw in every insult she could. Unfortunately I shared my weaknesses with her, I shared what hurts me most, thinking EVERY caring human being would therefore respect these things if they say they are in love, but its obvious I just gave her the ammo to aim better.

The moral of the story, be careful of narcissistic pain feeders!


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Last edited by Scintillate on 26 Oct 2006, 12:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

RTSgamerFTW
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22 Oct 2006, 11:03 pm

Single but NOT gonna bother looking anymore i'll be single the rest of my life because i won't be able to get a relationship if i want any kids i'll just adopt.


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neurodeviant
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23 Oct 2006, 3:37 pm

Single and looking. I've never been in a long term relationship before. I'm a little more confident in finding a date as I have discovered sites like this. At first I was looking for NTs, but I have read quite a few horror stories about AS-NT relationships, which kinda put me off looking for NT's, so I'm looking for an aspie female.



nina
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23 Oct 2006, 6:18 pm

Soon to be divorced and soon to be available!



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23 Oct 2006, 11:45 pm

I am NT, on here because I am in a long distance relationship with a man who has AS. He's so worth the effort!



CanyonWind
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24 Oct 2006, 12:18 am

Here's a description of my relationship status:








OK, that's it.


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Scintillate
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26 Oct 2006, 3:41 am

Its all gone, yet I still hate that I can't even tell whether she's concious of what shes doing to me or not..

If someone laughs when they know you well, know you're in serious pain, that is sadistic isnt it?

If the next day they claim they were "out of sorts" but every time you get close to them this happens, do you think it means they have serious issues?

I don't just mean the laughing, I mean as soon as she saw a weakness, as soon as I had that security I needed (she knows it well) she told me how boring, arrogant, stupid, and pathetic I am...

The next day she says she was oblivious to what it was doing to me, though at the time I was begging her to simply tell me the truth, whether she even likes me or not..

Its hard for me to feel I deserve anything better, but things like this kill me for days at a time (she also knows this!)..

I have this sick feeling in my gut that says she has to hurt me to feel anything at all, but I'm finding it hard to know for sure, in fact after such an ordeal, its hard for me to believe in myself at all...

I know I know, someone makes you feel worthless, you gotta end it, its just for the past 2-3 weeks its been absolutely wonderful, with one or two minor hiccups, and then suddenly apparently I'm a boring, arrogant, horrible trap.

f**k!


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