Do you feel socially inept?

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Do you sometimes wish to be like other people around you?

Nope! A lot of them seem inane, or boring. Seem, because I don't know them. But there is nothing about them that I would wish to change myself for.

Yes, all the time.

And it's not like I feel that I am socially inept.

I am socially inept. (I don't believe in AS , AS = socially ineptness label invented by psychiatrists)

Definately. Everyone says to just be yourself and let conversation flow naturally, but I've found that to be a surefire way for me to alienate someone. Keeping relevant and socially acceptable requires a full-time effort.

I wish one day it would be easier.

Well, if that's your attitude, I don't know what you're doing here in the first place, other than telling a whole group of people that their handicap doesn't exist, and most of us have had plenty of that abuse from the real world, thank you very much.

As for your 'label' remark - AS is not JUST social ineptness, there's a great deal more to it than that, and if that's your only issue, you most likely don't have anything that would be identified as Asperger Syndrome, or identified as anything at all, and if that's the only problem you have, you can overcome it with simple effort and experience. Congratulations!

Asperger Syndrome is not something we can overcome with any amount of effort or therapy, because it is neurological in origin and involves and whole set of disabilities, in Executive Function, Interpersonal Emotional Development, Physical Coordination, Anxiety Management, Decision Making and several aspects of Intellectual Cognition. The reason for giving it a label in the first place is that it IS NOT simple social ineptitude, its a host of symptoms and handicaps that present as an overall disorder.

And I can tell you from half a century of personal experience, it is very real and debilitating in the extreme. If that's not what you have, good for you, consider yourself blessed, but don't you dare insult those of us with very real handicaps by pretending that just because your ability to function normally isn't crippled by things beyond your control that the rest of us are merely a little 'socially inept'.

Hey, you're going totally off-topic. Stick to the topic. You can always pm me.

I don't feel the part, I am the part, but is it an excuse not to try? I don't need to deny what I have, and it's not a label slapped on my head by a team of fly by night doctors either.

I'm not sure. I've never thought about it like that.

Yes a lot of times. Then there are days where I dont wanna be like other people because they are very cruel and boring. And its true that asperger's does not equal only social ineptness, there are a million other symptoms related to aspergers. I think too much, and sometimes I wish I didnt think too much because I would be a more relaxed person, but then again I probably wouldnt be able to do some of the good things I do if I didnt think too much. There are socially inept people who dont have aspergers and they are completely fine psychologically or they overcome it. With aspergers we are socially inpept, we think too much, anxiety, depression, special interests, sudden outbursts, sensory issues, trouble picking up social cues. Not every person with aspergers have every symptom I listed but most of us have all or most of them. And even if we overcome our social ineptness, we still have a handful of other issues as well that may take a lifetime to fix.

It's not a matter of feelings. I do suck socially.

I don't wish to be like everyone else.

I agree with what Willard said about AS being more than social ineptitude.

Yeah, I guess I am hindered. I don't think it's so much that I can't socialize, it's that other things, like anxiety, distract me. That, and I blame everybody else for being afraid of me because I look too serious and stern (really I just kinda have a poker face). If people gave me a chance, who knows how much better I could be, but that doesn't have happen often.

Yea. Social ineptitude is merely the most *visible* aspect of the condition from an outsider perspective. From the inside it's fairly clear that I am indeed wired differently. I think differently and have a whole complex array of cognitive strengths and weaknesses. Also, not all people on the autism spectrum have the exact same issues. It's a very complex disorder, and also very poorly understood.

Never. Unless I'm in a room full of billionaires, of course, in which case the answer is hell yeah

Yes, I sometimes wish I was able to socialize the way others are. Last night, I went to a very small gathering at someone's house - only FIVE of us, and I know all of them. The host and his wife I don't know well, but they are some of the most open, welcoming people you could hope to meet. I still was unable to participate in the ongoing conversation - I'm just not interested in the same things, so I can't offer comment on whatever it is.

Wow. Condescend much? Your comment was slightly more appropriate than using the "n-word" at an NAACP convention, and you think it's not appropriate for you to be corrected publicly? And I thought I was socially inept!

[ edited to make sure I was "on topic".]

Last edited by another_1 on 30 Jun 2010, 3:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No, I would just like to be accepted as equally valid by other people around me.



I agree with all these comments, and, like Willard, have a half century of living with it.

I am socially inept in situations where I am expected to be something which I am not, where there is no tolerance for what I am. Where tolerance does exist, I'm socially different, but not unacceptable.

I'm really socially inept due to lack of experience and the fact that I think way too much about stuff. I don't have anybody I'd call a friend, just people I see once a week at most.

That's why I joined this site D: