Disparate age romances (LINK FIXED)

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Dysfunctional love?? topic

Read all about it, above.^^^

I always wonder about these situations. The age discrepancy is like a red flag to me, no matter if it is an older man, younger woman or an older woman, younger man scenario.

Thoughts?

Edit: DaWalker pointed out that the link was broken due to a small transcribing error. It is now fixed.

Last edited by sartresue on 01 Jul 2010, 10:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

From what I can tell it REALLY depends on the couple... I know 4 older man-younger woman couple & one same sex female couple. The 1st man-woman couple I don't know they husband at all, but they are married w/ a baby (I'm estimating a 10-15+ year age difference) & the 2nd couple ( I think its a 18 yr. age difference so the man is literally twice as old as the girl) seems... my opinion not good or so-so but I don't say anything, they can do what they want (the girl was 18-19 when they got together so its totally legal where I live). The 3rd couple are my aunt and uncle & 4th are my cousin and boyfriend (ironically my aunt doesn't seem thrilled w/ her daughter being w/ a man about 10 yrs. her senior when her & my uncle have that age difference approx. ). But the same sex couple are the parents of a friend of mine in high school, they're 19.5 years apart & my friend seems happy w/ them .

Woo!!
The interweb is an amazing thing. More than most other media, we've the ability to have the world believe that "we are who we say we are" in real-time. That seems pretty much how this thing came about.
Age of consent is important but beyond that I think we're getting into throw-backs from histories past (age versus fertility time-lines for respective partners).

I would agree that there's a maturity difference that can be hard to bridge in a relationship (it's like Elves marrying Humans!!) but on the flip side, the spark of romance is something that happens precious little and that is what is so irresistible in the situation I think. I would generally avoid a relationship with a girl half my age (as it turns out, a girl I've thought was just a little spunky turns out to be just that!! gah!) on the grounds of what I want in a partner. That said, previous partners have often said I act too young... maybe it'd be good for me? I'd not say 'no' to good & legal but I would be careful.

I definitely don't think it's wrong (provided it's legal, consensual and there's no psychological-relationship-substitution) because life is too short and love that takes you over too rare. It's horrible to judge other's relationships: age discrepancy, intelligence discrepancy, image discrepancy... having one's own preferences is the spice of life!

Let's also be honest about the article though: "42 year-old flies to meet 16 year-old and gets charged..." sells newspapers/advertising air-time. I'm glad the lady stuck to her guns by not letting £-hungry media have her private life. She seems sane enough to me... it's just 'bad luck' like so many interweb romances.

I was married to a man 9 years my senior. Although we are now divorced, it is not the age which was the problem. If I were to marry again, I would definitely want to marry an older man again. I have strong opinions and I hang out with a much younger crowd (many of my friends are around 20 years younger than I am), but I feel that I need someone who is mature and stable and wise to be a stable influence to me, and to guide me to be my best.

PS: I feel a lot like the literary character Dorothea Booke in George Eliot's novel Middlemarch. She seems entirely like my type of aspie woman to me, and the closest to what I was like at her age. She married a man far older than herself, and it was a disaster, because he turned out to be a not-very-feeling aspie-like person, whereas her own emotions were completely the opposite. This was more a matter of his personality, though, not his age; and I understand why she chose him, not realising what he was really like. I could marry someone 20 years older than myself and be happy if he had the right character.

Never been in that situation, i.e. I didn't manage to get any sex when I was below the age of consent, and I've never had a relationship with anybody that young either.

Though I did once have a relationship with a woman who was nearly 20 years older than I was. It wasn't what I'd call a "fully-fledged" relationship, it was more of a convenience thing......her husband wasn't monogamous and had stopped fancying her years ago, while I didn't feel ready for a "proper" relationship. Because neither of us saw it as likely to lead anywhere, everything was very light between us, and I never felt any anxieties about her like I usually do with women. She was more of a long-term lover than a partner, and there's a world of difference between the two. She was never going to leave her husband and I didn't want her to. Only problem was that I was always eventually going to gravitate towards women who were closer to my own age, but she knew that from the start, and she knew that she herself wasn't going to make the kind of commitment to me that I was looking for in a partner, so when the time came for me to return to "normality," we handled it reasonably gracefully.

I don't think I'd go that way again though. I was wary of what other people might think (though the people who knew about us were usually quite open-minded about it), and I don't like having a lifestyle that would arouse suspicion in the kind of women I like to form relationships with. I think I'd have a difficult time with it if I took on a serious partner who had been living that kind of life.

I have occasionally got uncommonly close to women a lot younger than I was, and my awareness of that age difference has always been a huge block to my taking things further. I tend to think ahead and wonder what kind of life it would be for a young lady joined at the neck to an old man who was going to die before she'd even reached old age. I can't imagine anybody making that kind of sacrifice just to be with me. I also think I'd have a hard time coping with the fact that I'd be getting all old and warty while she was still looking young and attractive.

I'm 26 and my wife is 45. We met each other when 19 and 37.

I'm happy, and so is she.

My ex was a hell of a lot older than me. I'd have been DEEPLY offended if people had accused me of any impropriety.


Link doesn't work, btw.

Well, my husband is 11 years older than me, and we've been happily married for 8 years. My Mom is 19 years older than her husband, and they have been happily married for over 10 years. Although it is amusing that if we are out together, we look like we should belong to each others mates, lol.

Okay I got the link to load. I think if it were a man, there would be jail time. That's a teenager we're talking about. 16 and 42? Come on. That's not the same as 30 and 55.

Exhibit A for why you should monitor your teen's PC use. I've heard of teen girls running away to meet some much older guy on the other side of the country. The parents are typically clueless until Princess turns up missing. The stupid ones get caught. It's likely that a lot of girls who run away like that end up as sex slaves or are thrown into the sex trafficking underworld. This woman had been having "sexually explicit" chats with a 14 year old boy (started two years ago) and seems to have believed that he was 18. She goes to meet him and gets a big shock. The boy runs away anyway. If the genders were reversed, the 42 year old man would be in jail.

World of Warcraft is scary. Some people seem to replace reality with it. Not only do you have the guys living in filth so they can play 24/7, you get cases like this. In one instance, a woman tried to have a guy she met on WoW kidnapped so she could ravish him. She hired a cop instead, of course.

Oh definitely monitor teens on the internet. When I was 13/14 and had just got it, I had creepy older guys trying to get me to come to their houses all the time. One was even going to fly me to Paris. *shudder*

COUGARS!! ! FUNNY i'm probably too old to even be an old cougar....for me it's like a dog chasing cars... what would I do if I actually caught one????

Lol.

If you're into younger guys there's no telling if one will be receptive unless you try

I'm taken, though.

We are 9yr 6 mo 7 days apart - I am elder - We are the same age or else she is a bit older than I am. Perfdect

Why care if someone is happy?

I have requirements on a girl that i cannot drop, and because of that i cannot limit myself to an age group. If she is 18 or 45 - i don't care, as long as she is the right girl for me. Even without requirements, it is so hard to find anyone in this world...

I don't see a problem in age disparity. It is all about having common ground.I f two similarly ages people have no common ground it is hard to have a relationship same with people with age disparity. and sure it is more often that the second thing is true , I nevertheless am happily living with my partner who is 51 while I am only 25 .