What has helped you?
MONKEY
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Location: Stoke, England (sometimes :P)
I can only imagine what God has for meals, i bet they are just heavenly.
Philadelphia cheese then obviously. They always have angels on the adverts.
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nick007
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Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
What helped me the most was growing/maturing & realizing that lots of people are idiots who do NOT have a clue what it's like. Concealing & meds just disillusioned me. They wer a waist of my money, time & messed-up my mind/intelligence/memory ect. Having a job, being out of the house some & having friends helped me out. I realized that I was NOT the screwed-up loser that people had been assuming, treating me like I was & telling me I was all my life. Understanding & accepting myself helped more than anything else ever did.
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Some examples:
Therapy? (What did the therapist do that actually helped?) Social skills groups? Aspie meet-ups? Other kinds of meet-ups?
Trying to put oneself out there to socialize? Keeping oneself out of stressful situations? (How?) Any successful way of learning social skills or other coping skills?
Special diet? Meds? Meditation? Buddhism?
I would list what has helped me but there's not a lot:
Meds given by a psychiatrist I actually like and who was kind and thoughtful, after years of trial and error, is one of the few things I can think of. (Abilify and Lamictal)
Also, years ago I volunteered at a community center so I was around people a lot, but in the end it was stressful and ended badly. But I did meet my bf there, and I wouldn't have if I had stayed home alone, so that was helpful but with a high price to pay.
I think the things that have helped me the most are (in random order) :
Becoming self-aware, ie learning to identify my emotions, and what the cause might be, and what I might be able to do about them.
Becoming aware that I'm on the spectrum.
Understanding that there are people in the world that are just not nice, and that they're not nice because of their own issues, not because of something I did, and I don't have to put up with their negativity.
Guided meditations, and relaxation techniques. (this is a big one, because without this step the others wouldn't have happened)
Also, a little bit of Rational Emotionive Behavior Therapy (self directed) helped a little.
I noticed that you said you were interested in pursuing meditation. This site http://www.wildmind.org/ is chalked full of guided meditations, tutorials, and so much reading that I'm not even a quarter way through it in 2 wks. As well as the owners will promptly, and pleasantly answer any questions you have.
Understanding that my moods aren't necessarily caused by people being mean or stupid...that it can be as simple as noise or chemical odors setting me off
Looking upon everyday tasks as missions -- simple things like buying food or going to the library that I will doggedly perform and get really pissed if my friends slow me down, but if I didn't treat it that way I'd have trouble organizing myself to
Allowing myself to pace or bounce my leg or step away from a crowded situation and not telling myself I'm weird or a horrible person for it
Asking people more questions to clarify things, especially bosses or teachers
Observation of people talking, imitation of certain manners of talking and moving, and going over possible motivations for actions in my mind (I'm obsessive with this)
Consciously reminding myself to smile more, make eye contact, walk upright
Practicing mindfulness meditation during every day actions, to clear my mind of really horrible thoughts and keep focused on tasks
Ranting online and to my counselor, who doesn't think I'm on the spectrum but at least gives me space to rant so I don't burden and hurt my friends
Simply not talking as often to people who consistently upset me and physically avoiding folks who are violent with me, instead of hoping things will change
Allowing myself to take breaks and cry when I feel overwhelmed, but still being focused on completing missions
My mom, who is indispensable.
A seriously good psychiatrist and the right medications.
A best friend (not on the spectrum) who helps me socially and isn't afraid of my screw ups.
A close friend who IS on the spectrum who I have tons in common with.
A service cat.
A job I'm good at and enjoy doing, even if it's only part time.
Finding services.
AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,663
Location: Houston, Texas
Irwin Shaw novels (Bread upon the Waters, Top of the Hill, Nightwork, Evening in Byzantium, Voices of a Summer’s Day).
Working retail and sales. Enough framework and formality that the whole thing starts to make sense.
Political activism, beginning in 1990. Yeah, even with anti-war petitions, if people have a problem with a young man politely asking them to consider signing a petition, it is more their issue, not mine.
With school, theory of pre-studying.
With work, theory of getting there five minutes early and not worrying about the rest.
Poker, and learning that an approximate, loosey-goosey read of a social situation is often good enough (but because of natural variance and rake, I do not recommend poker as an attempt to make money).
Taking long walks, especially in the morning or late afternoon when the light is good.
Branching out and driving to new neighborhoods to take walks, and learning how to just easily, casually park my car on the street (‘Considering buying a house in the neighborhood, and I want to walk the neighborhood,’ in case anyone asks, no one has).
Appreciating nature and animals.
Studying zen in a thoroughly half-assed way. I mean, how else can you do it!
If it weren't for my job in the grocery/retail business, I wouldn't be in the position that I'm in right now. It's a quick and sure-fire way to gain some social understanding, to overcome many of the deficits you have and to get a boost in confidence which leads to other things....a job led to a car, a car led to my driver's license which I feared for the longest time...
On top of that, being diagnosed with ASD and learning more about my deficits rather than trying to avoid the label like the plague helps point me in the direction I need to go to better myself. There may not be a cure for it, but that's no excuse to not try to turn those deficits into strengths and live a normal life.