Hell....Hell...Hell.....Hell.......HELL...im sick of it

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OneStepBeyond
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05 Jul 2010, 4:51 pm

ditto :(



Claradoon
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05 Jul 2010, 5:11 pm

When I walk my dog and when I go to the grocery store, I wear a button on my cap. It says:

"I'm not ignoring you, I have autism."

When I'm wearing that, I don't have to respond to people. I don't have to react to them. I don't even have to look at them. I can relax. The stress is *waaaay* down.

I pick and choose where I'm going to wear that button. It could backfire but it has not, yet. So far so good.

You remember that "it's not about you" thing? Well, people think my not responding is all about them, so they're insulted. But the button tells them it's not about them and they don't get insulted. I know lots of people with AS would consider the button demeaning, they think it's apologizing or asking permission. It's not - it's just clearing up a misunderstanding. I look like an NT - a bit odd maybe. I've found that the grocery store is more inclined to treat me fairly as a person if they know I have autism - if they know I'm not an NT who is ignoring them.



Kaleido
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05 Jul 2010, 5:29 pm

lightening020 wrote:
I try that, but its hard some popular nt people are just intimidating they seem cool and popular and move about and just flow with other people.

And then there is me...where the f**k did I come from?

maybe I have just gone about my life all wrong.....maybe I need to talk to the people who frequent libraries. Maybe those kind of clubs are where I belong.

My whole life has just been wrong.....wrong...wrong where is the place where I feel right....with the RIGHT people at the Right time?

Ouch.

Your post felt physically painful to me :(

I also know the pain of being, wrong, wrong, wrong and if I knew how to solve it all for us, I would do it and probably make a fortune.



lightening020
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05 Jul 2010, 10:03 pm

I really wish there was a solution.................im feeling so down right now...........its such a disturbing feeling.........

....its knowing how far gone I am.......how far away I am from anybody my age or younger.

I feel like I am lightyears apart..........in my own universe........



lightening020
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05 Jul 2010, 10:05 pm

Kaleido wrote:

Your post felt physically painful to me :(

I also know the pain of being, wrong, wrong, wrong and if I knew how to solve it all for us, I would do it and probably make a fortune.


You can personally relate?



Kaleido
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06 Jul 2010, 7:56 am

lightening020 wrote:
Kaleido wrote:

Your post felt physically painful to me :(

I also know the pain of being, wrong, wrong, wrong and if I knew how to solve it all for us, I would do it and probably make a fortune.


You can personally relate?


What I know is that I tend to think logically and practically but when you are among many non-aspies, they like to group together and they like hierarchies and some focus a lot more on the people in a group than the task at hand, the do the task but after the talk is all about this person or that person. If the aspie is still focussing on the task, they are wrong, wrong, wrong. I can relate to that.

I can relate to saying exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person, again, wrong, wrong, wrong and don't think that many non-aspies will forgive and forget because they won't, you could be almost a Saint but the second you do the wrong thing, oh my god, wrong, wrong, wrong!

You go to work, you work very hard, you keep a clean desk, you don't gossip with the girls, oh dear, wrong, wrong, wrong, what you are supposed to do (in certain kinds of workplaces) is gossip, b***h, do as little work as you can get away with, go outside and smoke, spend time talking to friends and family on the phone and see anyone above your position as the enemy. In my case, I chose the former and worked hard, hardly noticed what others were doing, didn't bother with the gossip, or the smoking and rarely too private phone calls. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I find my brain interesting, I can think about the one topic for days and days and keep thinking until I have it resolved, oh oh, wrong, wrong wrong, apparently that is an obsession until the non-aspies need someone to work something out for them that is.

I am wrong, wrong, wrong, that is why I come here to Wrong Planet :D



visagrunt
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06 Jul 2010, 10:27 am

[Putting on my doctor hat.]

Another possibility that you should consider is that you are coping with more than one condition. It seems clear to me that you have social deficits (whether or not they add up to an ASD, I couldn't say). The effect of these might be prompting the presence of anxiety symptoms, the anxiety can, in turn, trigger episodes of depression. The three are often comorbid, and there may, in some cases, be a causal link from the ASD to the anxiety, and from the anxiety to the depression.

My recommendation is to speak to your family physician,

1) Raise the issue of anxiety and depression. These two are medical conditions, and there are medical therapies that are avaialble to help. The doctor may well reach for the prescription pad, but I suggest that you have a frank discussion about alternative approaches. This is particularly true if you believe that there might be a causitive link between your social deficits and your anxiety. In some cases it's best to try counselling before meds. On the other hand, there are cases where meds are strongly indicated. Only you and your doctor can come to an agreement on where your circumstances lie.

2) Ask for a referral to a psyhcological counsellor. Even if you don't go through a diagnostic process, a counsellor can be very valuable in helping you come to an understanding of how you perceive others and how you relate to them. If your counsellor can help you find strategies to cope with your social deficits, you may find that the other consequences diminish.


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lightening020
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06 Jul 2010, 10:50 pm

that actually makes alot of sense...yes I do beleive there is more going on......what about a psychiatrist?



syzygyish
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22 Dec 2014, 8:21 am

lightening020 your'e an aspy













it's not something to be ashamed of
it's not something to be proud of
it's the situation you are in
you possess a certain... clarity
that nobody else can ascertain or even comprehend

I am not detracting from visagrunts post, I am adding to it!


ps
psychiatrists add and subtract pills until the patient stops complaining


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