Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

Celoneth
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 526

07 Jul 2010, 5:41 pm

I got dx'd recently and still have yet to tell my (immediate) family about it.. though I figured I should.. problem is I don't know how - it's not the kind of thing that naturally comes up in conversations and I'm really afraid my family will either be dismissive or emotional about it. They really don't have any clue about autism so I'd have to do a lot of explaining. Would it be terrible if I just got them a book and told them that it's what I have and that they should read it?



dyingofpoetry
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Apr 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,201
Location: Fairmont, WV

07 Jul 2010, 5:54 pm

I had a family meeting at my house and after dinner gave a speech that began, "The world you live in is different than the world I live in," then went on to explain my recent diagnosis, how I was diagnosed,what it means for me and for them, and what to expect. I finished by making sure that they realized that, for me, it was a positive event, because I finally know and understand myself.


_________________
"If you can't call someone else an idiot, then you are obviously not very good at what you do."


Kiley
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 879

07 Jul 2010, 6:26 pm

When I got dx'd with ADHD in my 40s my parents (by parents I mean mom and stepdad) were thrilled. We'd all struggled with it all through my childhood. Despite my parents monumental efforts on my behalf we never got the right dx or any kind of meaningful help with it. My mom will still call sometimes just to ask if I'm still finding my pills useful and taking them. It's been deeply satisfying and meaningful for us all to know and understand.

When my kids got their various dx's with AS, ADHD, Bi-Polar etc my family and my husbands family has been consistantly understanding and supportive. They don't completely understand these things but are willing to learn. My ex-husband and his family are completely opposite. They are very predjudiced against people who are different and cope by denying the dxs and blaming me or whoever is handy as if bad parenting were the cause, or a good spanking could "cure" AS. They have no desire to understand or to be helpful to the children.

People can vary a lot in their reaction to this kind of news. If people are open minded they'll figure it out. If they aren't they might still be able to get their heads around it for your sake. Some people have such strong aversions they may not ever be able to handle it, but I think most people are better than that.



TeaEarlGreyHot
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 28,982
Location: California

07 Jul 2010, 6:45 pm

There's a book called 'The Other Side Of Autism' that might be helpful. I'm also in the process of reading "Look Me In The Eye".

I tried to talk to my sister about AS a few months ago and she just didn't get it. Nor was she remotely interested in hearing about it. I wish I could have just handed her a book, but she's severely Dyslexic.


_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.


liveandletdie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 May 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 872

07 Jul 2010, 7:16 pm

Having the same issues, recently diagnosed and don't know how to aproach the topic. I told my brother and he just said he doesn't think I have it though I know he doesn't really understand the difference between being mildly autistic and very lower functioning autism. I think getting them to read a book is a great idea, and I think I might do that myself. Haven't told my parents yet, my mom worked in special ed so she thinks she knows autism that is why I don't really want to talk to her about it because she is going to think i'm not like the kids in her class that had autism. Average person probably wont be able to see the difference between HFA and LFA but i think books would be the best way for them to understand.


_________________
I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy.- Curt Cobain


conundrum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,922
Location: third rock from one of many suns

07 Jul 2010, 8:18 pm

Celoneth wrote:
I got dx'd recently and still have yet to tell my (immediate) family about it.. though I figured I should.. problem is I don't know how - it's not the kind of thing that naturally comes up in conversations and I'm really afraid my family will either be dismissive or emotional about it. They really don't have any clue about autism so I'd have to do a lot of explaining. Would it be terrible if I just got them a book and told them that it's what I have and that they should read it?


If that's how you think they're going to react, chances are you're probably right. :(

Getting a book is probably a very good idea. However, once you bring this up, be prepared to answer at least some questions--they may not be willing to just read about something they know nothing about.

You might want to have some websites (like this one) handy as well.

Good luck with this, let us know how it goes. :)


_________________
The existence of the leader who is wise
is barely known to those he leads.
He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
'It happened of its own accord.' -Tao Te Ching, Verse 17


Todesking
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,088
Location: Depew NY

07 Jul 2010, 9:18 pm

My parents always known there was something different about me compared to my two younger brothers a dx will just put a nae to it. 8)


_________________
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die -Hunter S. Thompson


Celoneth
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 526

07 Jul 2010, 10:34 pm

Thanks for the replies - I think I will try the book, I don't know how they'll react - sometimes they surprise me, and I'm sure they know I'm different by now so I figure them having a reason will be a good thing - I just want to avoid any drama - I hate when people get emotional around me.



TeaEarlGreyHot
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 28,982
Location: California

07 Jul 2010, 10:38 pm

Celoneth wrote:
Thanks for the replies - I think I will try the book, I don't know how they'll react - sometimes they surprise me, and I'm sure they know I'm different by now so I figure them having a reason will be a good thing - I just want to avoid any drama - I hate when people get emotional around me.


They're bound to get emotional, whether it's denial and irritation or devastation. Be prepared for it.


_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.


Brennan
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 309
Location: Sydney

07 Jul 2010, 11:44 pm

I still haven't told my parents about my diagnosis. I was given the perfect opportunity to do some when my mother describe her fathers' personality in an almost textbook description of AS, but I totally chicken out.
I just really don't know which is the best way to tell them something which they will probably not want to know.



Sarafina7
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 196
Location: Israel

08 Jul 2010, 3:32 am

My Dad and I planned a family meeting to explain things to my family. I gave a "lecture" on Autism/Asperger, with a PowerPoint presentation. I gave the same lecture to my maternal grandparents.