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angelbear
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08 Jul 2010, 5:39 pm

Hello All-
I am a parent of a 5 yr old with PDD/possible Asperger's. He has always had a relatively mild temperament, with very few meltdowns. In fact, I don't think he has really ever had a prolonged meltdown. Anyway, he has always had trouble when babies cry or when toddlers make strange noises. Sometimes he imitates them, and sometimes he just gets very upset.

The latest thing that has started is that when he is around other little children that begin to fight, or if he hears another child getting reprimanded, and that child gets upset, then my son starts having what I guess is a meltdown. He will start hitting at me and screaming at the top of his lungs and crying.

I am wondering if any of you remember experiencing this as a child, and what were some of your coping mechanisms for this. I have been trying to get him to talk about this and how to handle it when it happens, so far the only thing I can come up with is for him to cover his ears and walk away.

Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!



Willard
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08 Jul 2010, 6:09 pm

I don't recall having meltdowns over it, but I've always had anxiety attacks when others around me start behaving with hostility, even if its not directed at me. Others getting emotional and crying makes me uncomfortable because I feel that I'm supposed to know what to do to 'fix' the situation and I never do. Know what to do, that is.

Like anything else, you just learn over time and repeated exposure to repress and internalize and not let on that these things are affecting you.

Us Aspies don't have real emotions anyway, you know. :wink: :roll:



Whatsherhame
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08 Jul 2010, 6:13 pm

Yes, similar things happened and still happen to me. Of course, I don't know if your son is doing it because he's sensitive to the noise or the other children's emotions or both. If the hitting and crying about it is not appropriate in the situation he is in when something like that happens, perhaps you can allow him to distance himself himself from the crying children and move somewhere where it's quieter? That worked for me. 8O



LittleTigger
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08 Jul 2010, 6:51 pm

I just run away.


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tweety_fan
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08 Jul 2010, 7:17 pm

I would get upset by others fighting all the time as a child. I would always run away.



takemitsu
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08 Jul 2010, 7:58 pm

When I was in sixth grade, some kids were fighting within proximity of me, so I joined in, because I couldn't stand it.



conundrum
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08 Jul 2010, 9:17 pm

tweety_fan wrote:
I would get upset by others fighting all the time as a child. I would always run away.


Or start to feel physically ill.


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angelbear
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08 Jul 2010, 9:33 pm

Willard, I definitely know that my son has emotions, I think he is just having trouble expressing them. It is very confusing, because my son at times actually acts very interested or intrigued when someone is crying or upset. He will sometimes run over to the situation to check it out even when he doesn't know the people. I am always on guard for situations that are about to erupt so that I can get him out of there if necessary. I am not sure if he thinks he is in trouble when others are getting reprimanded? I still can't quite tell if it is the sound of the crying or fighting that bothers him, or if it is the height of the emotions that is bothering him. He doesn't seem to be bothered by loud noises like fireworks or smoke alarms, so I am just not sure.

I really wish he would run away if it is upsetting him, but right now, I don't know if he is that aware of what is going on until it is too late, and he loses control. So for now, I am his monitor........sometimes I catch it, and sometimes it is just too late, and I catch the brunt of it! Anyway, I try to keep him out of situations with lots of crazy children, but sometimes it is out of my control.....



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08 Jul 2010, 9:44 pm

Maybe you could try to muffle out the noise for him with some music he likes? That worked for me, and running away. However, as I grew older, I had to learn that sometimes, people grew angry at me running away, so now my iPod's my second best friend, after my dog. My iPod helps me muffle the noise around me to a tolerable level, as long as my iPod's volume isn't too loud, and my dog helps me calm myself by being by my side.



CTBill
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08 Jul 2010, 9:47 pm

angelbear wrote:
I still can't quite tell if it is the sound of the crying or fighting that bothers him, or if it is the height of the emotions that is bothering him.

I would argue that it is none of the above--it is the result of feeling helpless and being unable to "fix" a situation. That was me once--still is sometimes. Perhaps he'll become an engineer someday! :)

Meantime, it might help to tell him that it's okay--these people are having problems, but they'll figure them out and fix things by themselves, then extricate him from the scene posthaste. :?:



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08 Jul 2010, 10:19 pm

I also get upset, when others fight. It bothers me to no end, and I just want to run away from the scene.


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