Moral questions about aspies/auties having children together
I've been thinking about this. I currently am not interested in children at all, which is good because I am too young. But, I do have an Aspie boyfriend, and a non diagnosed in denial aspie father. Is it morally wrong for two aspies to have a baby together? Living with AS has been hard, frustrating, and traumatic at the most. But I am also (I believe) an interesting, unique and creative individual. Say an aspie, knowing how hard it has been for them, has a baby with another aspie. Knowing the likely hood that it will be on the spectrum, is it wrong to subject the child to that?, even though they might bring something new to the world?
This has really been bugging me lately. What are you guys opinions? and please, keep it nice.
You know who else can live traumatic, frustrating lives? Gay people. Is it wrong to have a child if it might be gay? Is it wrong to have a child if it might have an inheritable disease which occurs in your family? Is it wrong for black people to have children, considering their child may be a victim of racism?
You might be able to see where I'm going with this. While not having children would prevent conflict from arising, it wouldn't solve the problem. We can't just stop everyone that's a little different from being born and call it a day. The solution to the problem is to promote tolerance of others, not to remove the others.
You might be able to see where I'm going with this. While not having children would prevent conflict from arising, it wouldn't solve the problem. We can't just stop everyone that's a little different from being born and call it a day. The solution to the problem is to promote tolerance of others, not to remove the others.
Couldn't agree more. Removing those who are different would make us no better than Nazis anyway.
I'm a little bit more gray on this... I know that people can make up their own mind by this, but people need to think a little, especially if they have multiple conditions.
For example, my parents both had mental problems and met in a mental facility. They both were so severely disabled, they could not take care of me and I had to be raised by other people. I ended up having severe childhood-onset problems. Now mind you I have smarts, but the meltdowns and social skills problems and moodiness and hyperactivity landed me in special ed. They are reworking my dx, but if it's correct, I had at least two childhood-onset problems, ADHD and Asperger's, and maybe my Bipolar started back then too.
Now as an adult, I have to take strong medication to stay sane, and even then, that doesn't help all my emotional and does nothing for social skills problems.
I will admit, I'm kinda depressed, but I feel that my parents could have been a bit more responsible in their decision to have a child. Aspies... I don't think are as badly disabled though.
Personally I was told by mental health professionals that I am unable to care for a child in my state, so I'm not going to have one that might have similar problems.
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my husband is an undiagnosed in my opinion aspie. I've recently been diagnosed with AS. Is it wrong? Umm we have two beautiful children. I love them very very much. I struggle at times but I take care of both my babies. They are the ones I'm the most connected to and the reason I no longer struggle with depression. They give me a sense of normalcy.
why is it wrong
this sound like a question a NT would ask. is it wrong for two NT's to have kids together, they can
produce a child that can grow up to be, rapist, killer,. pedophiles, bullies, child abuser.
so yeah whats the point of this tread okay i guess that off my chest to be more nice,
no it is not wrong for them to have kids together
You might be able to see where I'm going with this. While not having children would prevent conflict from arising, it wouldn't solve the problem. We can't just stop everyone that's a little different from being born and call it a day. The solution to the problem is to promote tolerance of others, not to remove the others.
That pretty much covers everything I was thinking on the subject. I think, as long as the couple thinks they can properly care for the child, they should be able to have children.
thechadmaster
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Its well within your rights to have a child regardless of ASD's but, i read a study once that said 95% of children born to autistic fathers will develop autistic tendencies. Knowing this, i will never have a child, not only do i lack the confidence in my parenting skills, i would not want another child to go through what i did in school. If i ever were to have a child, i would have him homeschooled, and raised in my church, plenty of routine, structure, and wholesome activities for him.
From teachers "not believing in aspergers" to students who react "ass-burgers?" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! to the workplace where ive had to keep my AS in secret because "customers dont make reasonable accomodations" to the social world that reacts "what are you? some kinda ret*d?"
I believe that mental child abuse can occur in school, on the playground, or in other social situations, but unfortunately its not recognized as such. Im so glad that my sister did not get AS, she has friends, a social life, she does very well in school, she is starting high school with several honors classes. my average grade first term of freshman year was a 72/100, she is on track to have a 96/100.
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thechadmaster
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I kind of agree. I think that will all the kids without parents for various reasons, adoption is the way to go. To take in a strangers child as your own, i think is a far less selfish act than having your own child.
I wouldnt go so far as to say that is is "just plain wrong" but i think that adoption is a better way to go.
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I, personally, would NEVER reproduce. I have so many disorders that it wouldn't be fair to throw that into the gene pool. My IQ is very high, but that doesn't eliminate the fact that there are plenty of issues I have that don't need to be passed along.
Now, I'm not saying one or the other on this question since I don't think there is a black or white answer. BUT, with so many children already out there for adoption, I feel as though it would make more sense to merely go that route (for myself) than fulfilling the selfish desire to pass on my own genetic code.
As far as two people with a disorder RAISING a child, I have absolutely no quam with the idea at all. I'm not concerned about the parents ability to take care of the child so much as my own -- somewhat flawed -- genetics.
That said, I don't plan on ever having children -- adopted or otherwise -- as I would make a wretched parent.
EnglishInvader
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