Too pretty to have AS

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Same here. My appearance was always one of my obsessions, from the time I was a toddler. I've actually had several boyfriends be attracted to that in the beginning, but then pressure me to tone it down due to their own insecurities.. so I would stop dressing as cute & spending as much time on my hair and makeup just to keep these men happy. I am now realizing how much it makes ME happy to be able to play dress up and express myself through my personal style.

I've never had the problem of people telling me I "don't have AS", probably for the simple reason that I don't tell anyone I have it!

But I can totally see where the original poster is coming from. Looks are nearly everything in the world today, especially for women. People base the way they react to you on what you look like. Part of it is attractiveness, but part of it is also "looking the part". You can look "friendly" or "smart" or "athletic" or whatever. People will base their opinions of you on it.

Myself, I apparently look the way a competent businesswoman is supposed to look, whatever that entails. In business situations, people trust me and they easily climb aboard my bandwagon. I don't know why this is. It's not something I consciously do. As far as looks go, I look ok but I'm certainly not supermodel pretty, so there's more to it than simply attractiveness.

I think good looks and general attractiveness can conceal Asperger's in some ways. Looking back at my school years, I was one odd duck and the same disconnect coming from, say a guy who was not good-looking, would probably have resulted in bullying and ostracism. With me, being known as a pretty girl in honors classes, I got away with a lot more. Even now, I feel like men find my "eccentricities" cute and kind of charming, whereas if I was ugly, I think they would judge it more harshly.

Of the people I've come out to Aspie-wise, at least half have responded along the lines of "Nonsense, Aspies are clueless and you look great and have your s**t together." It's a ridiculous but pervasive stereotype that Aspies are a hot mess. I've always been able to walk into a room like I own it and I've also learned verbal methods and facial expressions to maintain face even when I'm feeling lost inside. But like other women here, being naturally reserved and shy has led a lot of other women to conclude I'm a conceited b***h. People just tend to associate an outgoing, confident nature with certain looks.

On a related note, here's Katie Makkai's chilling routine on "Will I be pretty?"

... its about everyone who will drift home tonight crestfallen because not enough strangers found you suitably f*uckable.


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6wJl37N9C0[/youtube]

Nice, Carol! Thanks for sharing that.

Yes, thanks Carol. That was excellent!