I have not been diagnosed, but I think I may have aspergers.

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johnnydangerous
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12 Jul 2010, 3:57 am

Hello. My entire life I have felt like an outsider. I just simply never understod people. I believe I may have aspergers, because the symptoms seem to relate to me. Here are some of my problems:

I am painfully bad at small talk. I notice people who are "chatty" with everyone, seem to want to "run away" from me whenever I try to engage them in a conversation. I have no close, personal friends. At best, I have people who will do stuff with me, but usually only if I'm paying (like if I ask them to go to a game with me etc.). I do not know how to relate to people.

My voice is monotone, and people tell me that. Some people even find it funny, when that is not my intention (they say I have a dry sense of humor, when really I'm just speaking not intending to be funny). I cannot stand social situations, like group gatherings with family. I feel awkward.

While I am poor socially, I still desire to do have friends or do SOME things with people. I do need,enjoy my solitude, but at times it's a bit too much solitude and I desire to have a beer with someone. This simple task for others, is a challenge for me, apparently.

Dating...it's a nightmare for me. Despite being in shape, and physically attractive facially (not conceited lol) I usually cannot even manage to get a 1st date, let alone a girlfriend. Again it is important to note, I'm a physically handsome man, so the painful part is women APPROACH ME very often (hitting on me, if you will) but once they see what I am like, they are no longer attracted. This is so difficult, almost as if it is some cosmic joke that I was blessed with handsome looks, but a personality that repels women like raid to a cochroach.

I have rituals, like I have to turn the lights on twice, crack my neck twice, etc. and I have weird, slef imposed "rules" for these rituals. God knows where I came up with them, and they are, of course, illogical. But that doesn't stop me from obeying them.

Sensory stimulation: I believe I have this problem. Recently, I was able to get a woman to go to a basketball game with me (rare). On the way over, I was ok for a change, but once in the arena my brain felt "flooded" trying toconcentrate on my date, and what was happening at the game at the same time. I felt overwhelmed, and thus, I "froze up" the entire game and my head literally hurt. Yet when I go to games with my brother, lets say, I feel fine.

I have extreme attention problems. I cannot read a book more than the first page. I am extremely self-conscience about my appearence. I am also very intelligent, despite giving off the appearence that I am "slow" as one lady so nicely put it one time, to my face. My IQ is extremely high, but I feel I have limited ways of expressing this due to my social phobias/problems etc.

I am poor at math, yet I am terrific dealing with grammar. In school essays were no sweat for me, and my reading level was always in the high 90% range (way ahead of my classmates). But I admit, I was poor at math related subjects. I know some Aspies are good at math, so this is the one thing that doesn't seem to fit with me.

I have emotional problems. If I feel if someone has hurt me, often times I react as a child would. I insult, and throw a tantrum at the person. It is hard for me to keep my cool, and often people are shcoked to see this "other side" of me, because they know me as this laid back, quiet man. I also have trouble sleeping at night. I can go to bed at 10 pm, or at 4 am. There is no rhythm to my sleeping patterns, and I usually average about 5 to 6 hours a night, at best. :(

Basically, people treat me as if I am "weird". Some people I work with have even told me I am weird to my face, but in a playful way. I take it as a compliment, but you know what they say about jokes. The people may be kidding, but there is an element of truth behind what they are saying. It hurts me sometimes, to be thought of this way. Often times I find myself thinking about suicide, but I would never do it. I also find myself staring in awe at times, at couples walking down the street. I find myself thinking "I am so much better looking than him, and look at the girl he is with. What is wrong with me?". It is a terrible way to go through each day.

I can look people in the eye, but it's usually a creepy, intense stare. This is not my intention but I have been told by some, that this is how I come across (I do not know how to fix it, lol).

I suppose I give off the look of your basic serial killer, which is very funny to me because the true serial killers you would not see coming (see: Ted Bundy). Yet people make their own ridiculous assumptions.

Everyday, I am getting more and more depressed and lonely. I feel so alone, and misunderstood. I only want a friend. I feel there are people out who should LIKE who I am because of my quirks, not in spite of them. But, these people do not seem to exist! And that saddens me greatly.

These are some of my problems, do you think I may have aspergers? I have not been officially diagnosed, but I am almost 100% sure that I do. Thank you.



LittleTigger
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12 Jul 2010, 4:28 am

Tantrums.
You may not have seen tantrums until you
have seen this little boy throw one.

I'm a 7 year old boy stuck in a body that has
been alive for 41 years.

But I tantrum like a 4 year old if someone is mean
to me if I don't spew errors like a computer.

Online I am more prone to spit out computer errors
in public xxxxxx in regular life I am more likely
to stamp and scream and cry and throw things
and call her a poopyface and throw a pickle
at her and call her a stool hole. I mean that
boogarfaced old poopnose who was mean to
me at the mall and thank goodness my brother
was there to keep me from whacking her
upside her pinched head with a moist burrito.

Yeah, then they are "shocked" when THEY
are the boogarfaces who made me tantrum.

Figures.

Its just my crumbly opinion but you might not be
so alone in this.
But that is just my crumbly crusty opinion like
a bit of pie crust still sticking to the pie tin
left over in the kitchen and forgotten about.

Hmmmmm Pie. Sounds good about now.


I am WEIRD and PROUD of it, in fact,
to call me normal is an insult, I am Not
Normal and I don't want to be.

I am also a Nerd who loves fat women,
DANGIT I hate that society thinks fat
is a bad word, I Am Fat and I love it
why can't I look at beautiful fat women
and compliment their beauty?

I'm a Fat Boy and a Nerd and I am Weird,
I love fat women and I love my kittypuss,
in fact, that is one of my nicknames
"A Boy and his Cat."

Good to meet you, I hope you find the
answers that you seek, whether here
on this board or elsewhere.

Live good, pick a boogar, and please
stay weird, we don't need anymore
normal people around this planet.


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A Boy And His Cat

When society stops expecting
too much from me, I will
stop disappointing them.


Descartes
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12 Jul 2010, 6:36 am

Hello, Johnny. :)

Some of the traits you described are definitely traits of Asperger's--but you also described some traits of social anxiety, OCD, and ADD, all of which tend to go hand-in-hand anyway. I am a diagnosed Aspie, but I was also diagnosed with ADD and anxiety. I'm also pretty sure I have OCD, though I've never been diagnosed with that. Also, not all Aspies are really good at math. Math is one of my weaker areas, whereas I tend to excel in subjects such as social studies and language arts.

Do you have intense interests in particular subjects that you find yourself absorbed in all the time? That's one of the most defining characterists of Asperger's. If you do, then along with all the other traits you mentioned you have, you may very well have Asperger's.

If you can, see if you can consult a professional psychiatrist to see what he thinks. Otherwise, you'll have to rely on personal instinct and the opinions of others.

Nice to meet you, and I hope I helped in some way. :wink:



LordoftheMonkeys
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12 Jul 2010, 7:17 am

You sound exactly like me, except for the math part (I'm pretty good at it). I used to have bad sensory issues, mostly for smell; I still do, but I've learned to cope with it. I also have the problem of being good-looking but having a repulsive personality, though I haven't been hit on by girls in a while, which I think is mostly because 1. I am rarely around girls anymore, and 2. I have had acne for the past year; I've sort of let myself go in terms of physical attractiveness.

I think you are a classic case of asperger's syndrome, and I would think about getting a diagnosis. An official diagnosis is better than a self-diagnosis, because for one thing you know for sure what is wrong with you, and for another you get help from the government for finding jobs and the like.


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