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takemitsu
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13 Jul 2010, 11:58 pm

I am, but I probably wouldn't be if people didn't judge the way I act or look so much...I try to jump through hoops, but it's still not enough.



tweety_fan
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14 Jul 2010, 6:43 am

fleeced wrote:
I am really self-conscious in public or with friends. I read somewhere about a lack of self-consciousness in autism - is that just for lower functioning people?


I am self conscious



BeautifulLoser
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14 Jul 2010, 9:06 am

I am very self conscious, not just how I look, but what I say. I feel like everytime I talk to another person, I sound stupid or something. I never know what to say and it keeps me from talking to people. I also feel that I look like an animal and I know people are staring at me when I go out.



marshall
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14 Jul 2010, 9:19 am

I'm extremely self-conscious. It's bad to the point where I don't feel comfortable sharing my real opinion with people. If someone asks me whether I liked a certain movie I'm afraid to say I didn't like it in case the other person liked it. Ugh! I hate this.



BeautifulLoser
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14 Jul 2010, 9:32 am

marshall wrote:
I'm extremely self-conscious. It's bad to the point where I don't feel comfortable sharing my real opinion with people. If someone asks me whether I liked a certain movie I'm afraid to say I didn't like it in case the other person liked it. Ugh! I hate this.


I feel the same way. Its like no matter how anyone feels, for some reason I usually feel the opposite. If you dont like something that some one else likes, its like insulting to that person. At least thats how they react anyway.



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14 Jul 2010, 11:34 am

I really don't know. I don't quite understand the concept of self-consciousness.



marshall
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14 Jul 2010, 12:58 pm

BeautifulLoser wrote:
marshall wrote:
I'm extremely self-conscious. It's bad to the point where I don't feel comfortable sharing my real opinion with people. If someone asks me whether I liked a certain movie I'm afraid to say I didn't like it in case the other person liked it. Ugh! I hate this.


I feel the same way. Its like no matter how anyone feels, for some reason I usually feel the opposite. If you dont like something that some one else likes, its like insulting to that person. At least thats how they react anyway.

Actually I usually do feel a little bit hurt, or at least disappointed, when other people don't appreciate something I like. I realize there's no fault on their part but that doesn't stop me from not really wanting to hear their opinion.

I think other people are much better than I am at genuinely not caring what other people think. I can tell people I don't care what they think just to maintain my pride, but I know there's a part of me that actually *does* care. I can't just ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist.

Also, if I think someone has a judgmental attitude or opinion towards me it eats me alive. Ignorance in particular drives me nuts. I can't even stand the thought that somebody might have an ignorant or unjustified opinion of me. It makes me feel like I want to go up and shake some sense into them. I just can't deal with it. I'm constantly told "the world's full of assholes, you just have to learn to deal with them and not care what they think", but I still can't stop myself from feeling like I want to cause grave bodily harm to said assholes for being such ignorant assholes.



vintagedoll
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14 Jul 2010, 3:21 pm

Quote:
I read somewhere about a lack of self-consciousness in autism - is that just for lower functioning people?

That would probably depend to a large extent on the individual's personality. What I understand autism to mean (from my own personal experience) is that we don't feel an innate human-to-human connection with other people. Because of this, some people with autism might just feel so detached from others that they are unable to feel self-conscious around them. For others of us, knowing that that we struggle with social situations and probably don't come across well, knowing that we're different and that our differences are just 'there' for all the world to see however much we might want to appear 'normal', and knowing that other people view us as odd can make us feel extremely shy and self-conscious around other people.

I am self-conscious around other people to the extent that it disables me at least as much if not more than my AS does. Throughout my life I have suffered from selective mutism and still do. I also believe myself to have avoidant personality disorder and also some degree of body dysmorphic disorder. I am self-conscious about how I look, but I am far more self-conscious about how I sound when I am around people. This affects my physical ability to talk and when I am around other people I am barely verbal in a lot of social situations, even though I can speak when I feel more relaxed. When I listened to a recording of my voice I thought I sounded like somebody who has brain damage.

I too found that getting a diagnosis made me feel,(at least temporarily) more self-conscious. I think professionals, including diagnostic services can sometimes make us feel very self-conscious by the things they say and write about us.


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marshall
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14 Jul 2010, 6:40 pm

vintagedoll wrote:
I am self-conscious around other people to the extent that it disables me at least as much if not more than my AS does.

Same here. I think lack of confidence is almost as disabling as the rest. Clinical depression is a huge factor as well.

I've also noticed that as I grew older and became more self-aware a previous set of problems is replaced by a new one. I may have gotten over a lot of my childhood AS symptoms but they got replaced by a whole slew of new emotional issues. It's like the more you learn about the way the world and society works, the more you realize it would probably be easier not to know. Heightened awareness is almost like taking one step forward and two steps back. Sometimes I almost long to go back to the stage in life where I was completely absorbed in my own special interests and didn't care about much else.



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17 Jul 2010, 1:21 pm

very very self-conscious most of the time in public. a lot of times, say if i'm walking around in a supermarket or other store, i feel as if every single eye is on me and examining every move i make and almost reading my thoughts.



CultOfByron
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09 Aug 2010, 1:10 pm

An early point raised in this thread: definition of terms -

1. self-conscious in the everyday sense (being overly aware of the way one looks, feeling 'bigger' than one actually is, embarrassment, etc...),

2. self-consiousness in the psychological sense which seems to refer to how much 'awareness' one has of one's body,

3. social awkwardness which can give the appearance of self-consiousness, but as House M.D. (MrXxx !) and TeaEarlGreyHot suggest - this doesn't necessarily correspond with the experience of the person within the body.

I think the O.P. is referring to the 1st kind, and this seems to be affected by a number of things; how aware one is of the world outside oneself, the ways in which we have come to understand and relate (or not) to other people, any cognitive delays in comprehending what people are doing/saying to us (definitely an issue with me) and also the projection of negative judgements onto others, due to Theory of Mind. I'm still not massively secure in my use of the term T.o.M, I'm assuming it's the ability to gauge what others are thinking based on the info available through what's being said and the way it's being said...? Clearly an AS/Spectrum issue.



Dnuos
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09 Aug 2010, 1:33 pm

crocus wrote:
Adding to this, I'm also highly sensitive (in-tuned) to when others watch me. I can feel when someone is looking at me even if they are out of my vision. Sometimes I get the "hair standing up on my neck" thing. Other times, I don't even know how I can sense it. I just do.

When I become self conscious, I am hyper aware of every movement I make, like suddenly I am outside of my own skin and can't function smoothly because of it. It leads to an unpleasant feeling around too many people and it's one of many reasons that social interaction becomes exhausting to me and I need to retreat from it.
This is my case, exactly. Even the feeling when someone else is looking. I wondered though, if that might be a good thing. Like, a skill or something.

I hate feeling like the second paragraph, though. Because that happens too often. >.>

Also, afraid to mention your real opinion, near somebody, as earlier mentioned in this thread. I just don't like causing any argument or standing out, because sometimes I can't get my thoughts together quickly enough to defend my statement/claim, leading to what would seem awkward.



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09 Aug 2010, 4:11 pm

I do feel that way sometimes when out in public think that people are judging me on the way I look or am dressed or the way I act-I am very shy in public and always feel inferior to everyone else.


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09 Aug 2010, 4:24 pm

Appearance wise, yes. Due mostly to my past experiences in grade school. When I didn't dress 'fashionably' or have my hair a certain way, these two girls would make comments and taunt me relentlessly.


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Dnex
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09 Aug 2010, 6:57 pm

I'm very self-concscious.