I struggle to relate to my own gender.

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I have a very masculine persona in many respects. It either makes women feel threatened or they cannot relate to me. I like fashion and fabrics and I am well-groomed but I do not need to talk about it. I cannot talk about feelings. I am very laid back generally and get on better with my fiances mates than I do my own.

I am just starting to get comfortable in my own skin and liking the idea of a comfy pair of bonds undies and singlet, than a lacy camisole. I hate lace and velvet and corduroy. I like mean dogs with spirit and I love beer on a hot day. I do like my fluffy slippers.

I just started thinking about femininity and what that means this year. Interested in your thoughts of what you think it means to be feminine.

Cheers,

Mics

I'm even more masculine, than you are. I dress like The Kinks did in the 60s. I enjoy watching war movies. I love classic cars and buses. I also like vintage war planes. I'm also one of the ones, to help out with the heavy lifting, at my clubhouse, because the extra testosterone in my body pumps me up, so much. I have a man for a role model, and that's very well documented, in my rank title and my signature, here at WP. I'd rather watch a hockey game, than a chick click. I'd rather play a video game, than play with makeup. I love my meat and potatoes, to the point, that contemporary food weirds me out, when I look at it. I also brag about the fact, that I look just like Mick Avory did, in the Summer of 1964. I don't think that I'll be wearing a camisole, any time, soon. You're light years ahead of me, there, but I do like velvet, lace and corduroy, because I like the 60s. Is there a third gender that I could be?

Seconded. I'm about as 'dude' as you can get, but I've got massive ladies and all the other assorted parts. Seriously, it sucks.

Course, wasn't there some scientist going on about how Autism could be caused by extreme male brain? I suppose any male brain in females would be considered extreme, but it would explain why most every female I talk to on these boards seems to be more masculine.

I have problems with that too. I hate to use dresses, skirts, dress shoes, and make up. However, I love to use trousers, t-shirts, tennis shoes and sweatshirts or jackets, as long as they're not pink. Sometimes, I'm pretty uncomfortable in my body.

I am a tomboy who never grew out of being a tomboy. I did not identify with my gender, to the point of referring to myself as male in my mind, until I became romantically involved. When other people appreciated me as a female I began to think of myself as such. Now I am married and some of my more masculine traits have allowed me to feel closer to my husband because we share interests. My husband loves me for who I am, even if I am not as feminine as other women. I would suggest hanging out with people who appreciate you for who you are, masculine or feminine.

So glad others feel this way. I have always felt more masculine than feminine. I dont wear makeup or high heels. Sometimes I dont even brush my hair and I am happy to be flat chested ( seems like boobs would get in the way). I own a hot rod Chevy. When Im around other females its like torture to me listening to their inane chatter, stupid gossip and what not. I simply can not go on for hours about makeup, clothes and random celebrity men I dont even know. I have a hard time relating to other women and the women I know just seem like vapid, emotional trainwrecks to me.

Also, I must add I will never wear any lace underthings, they itch way too much!

Most females are stupid or pretend to be stupid, but this is purely anecdotal.

Great posts people! Thank you.

An ex boyfriend told me that I ran and walked like a guy, but did not complain about my "male" libido(infering higher levels of tes)....go figure.

It has helped and hindered me. It helps me get a long in a male dominated field of study (Physics) and it helped in my last job. But when I was accounts exec for a PR company(yeah, HATED that job) my boss(who was female) took me shopping for skirts, so I could embrace my femininity, and probably so the clients weren't intimidated.

Being groomed for me is not about being a woman, it is part of my presentation. I know enough about the superficial world to know that it can help But that is where the confusion has always been. In my late teens I was a model and my mother was a fashion designer. I was taught etiquette and make-up application(even if my skin feels like it is suffocating. I barely wear it now). I hated all the girls I came into contact with. I used to think "modelling is just a job like any other. why are all you girls so consumed by image?". Suffice to say that I did get work, but it didn't last for long.

So, I knew HOW to be a woman, but didn't FEEL like one. At 36 I am starting to reflect on that as my body slows down(I am in perimenopause and on HRT) and wonder if it is my fertility that makes me a woman or my attitude. Since my oestrogen levels have gone haywire and my testosterone has been levelled out a bit, I seem to have moments of feeling more "girly". I seek my fiance out more for hand holding, I brush my hair more and I wear nice earrings. But I do this for myself now as opposed to fitting a persona that I want to present to the world. It makes me feel in control. I am a little obsessive about lines and neatness. My house can be a pigsty, as long as things are in the right piles in the right place. Maybe I am not more feminine, but more of a control freak

But women in general fascinate and terrify me, even if I think little of joining them. Men just make me feel more comfortable, until they start acting like MEN with the flirty talk and blah blah.

Mics

Speak for yourself.....

I can relate slightly. It feels like I really lack atypical feminine qualities, which include sharing how I feel. I either oversimplify it, overcomplicate it, or shut up and hope to get over it. To have to go to counceling over my depression diagnosis is a stretch because I hate the phrase, "I don't understand. Can you explain yourself better?" to the point where I really just would rather not go.

However, I don't think that it's necessarily all lace and frilly clothing. Sure, I own some of that clothing, but to be honest, I am my most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt or corset. Funny, my clothing is more outgoing than I am. But, I'd be more comfortable in my Rena costume than I would in a business suit. It just wouldn't be ideal for when I go hunting with my dad... Unless I had some sort of cleaver to throw at the animal, which something tells me would be unethical, impractical, and kinda illegal.

As for what "Feminine" is, I find it to be a vague descriptive. As such, I can only give you the stereotype which would not do women any justification. I moreso lean toward the idea of just calling myself human, which means that I may err from my gender, but I am me and linked to the human race.

I alternate between these two ways of thinking:

1. I am a man in a woman's body

2. Gender is all nonsense; it consists of ingrained ideas about what the shape of our bodies signify about our personalities, and is as silly as thinking that the shape of our skulls or the position of the stars signify anything.

Sometimes I think I have feminine traits. For example I am insecure and need a lot of validation. But you can pick any so-called feminine trait and see that men have it just as much as women but they are taught to express it differently. If men were not insecure and did not need validation then why would there be so many yay-saying wives out there that devote themselves to their husbands' self-image? It would not be necessary for, or desired by, the husbands.

I talk about my feelings, but only to my partner, and in a very problem-solvingy way. If I feel upset and can't solve it I ask him to try and solve it because he is better at emotional stuff than me. I go on diets because I like to follow rules and because I want muscle definition.

I look forward to the day that gendered thinking goes the way of astrology, I really do. "I feel that way because I am a woman" should sound as silly as "I feel that way because there's an R in the month".

Or maybe it's all true, and I don't understand it because I'm just a bloke who somehow very unfortunately grew tits by mistake.

I just did. Do you not understand what anecdotal means?

It seems to me that most of society sees two genders (male and female) and of course there are socially defined roles for each. I know that my gender is female and I've heard of various things that can affect one's gender identity and presentation (which in my opinion are two different things). I'm fascinated by people's experience with gender.

I'm NT but I don't fit the typical feminine gender stereotype. I grew with with a feminist father and a mother who wasn't especially feminine and I think that helped me choose how I wanted to be both with identity and presentation. I came out as a lesbian later in life and typically reject most feminine parts of myself because I often think of it as weak and I don't want to be weak.

Interesting conversation...

Me, too. Though I am pretty feminine. I like things like fashion and stuff but have never been able to talk with other women about it. I've had few female friends in my life.

I feel gender-removed myself. Grew up a straight-feminineish-tomboy but loving camo and baggy cloths (it was the style at the time) etc. All of my friends have been male, never got along with females unless they were many years older than me, even then very few. I've learned that men in general are a lot more open to 'oddness' in a woman then NT woman are in a fellow woman.

As for clothes, they've changed in recent years. Watching What not to Wear and the woman on there with my frame/build I decided to try types of cloths suggested for them, something I never would have tried before myself. It took a lot of courage but wearing those things out in public (though I felt horribly awkward in them myself) I learned that I blended in with the public very easily, became almost invisible; but when I wear what I am comfortable in I stick out. Hard thing to get used to but needless to say my wardrobe has changed for the most part. I tried make-up for a while there, but lost interest due to too many allergies and the feeling that if you have to put a mask on for people to like you, those people just aren't worth it. General grooming is going to have to cut it.

i feel this way alot i havent been able to identify with alot of females unless they are abit odd or quirky themselves lol.

in alot of ways I do seem to see myself as male than female being very masculine especially in the way i look ive come to identify myself as third gender abit of both worlds , but ive also thought that the concept of femininity is normally what a mans ideal of a woman should be or society's idealism from the same sorts of people who thought women should wear corsets and shouldnt vote lol.

but I think we should look more into what we consider femininity and everyone is different, like ive met effeminate males who are straight doesnt mean they are not men they just defy what stereo types have taught us to expect of our tick box genders lol