100% sure you're an aspie one moment, doubting it the next?

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Cicely
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04 Oct 2010, 11:41 pm

I felt that way before I got my dx. Whenever I read about an Aspie trait I didn't have, or felt like I was doing something that wasn't Aspie-like, I would start doubting I had Asperger's. It didn't help that my family also doubted it. There were times when I felt like I was just being a hypochondriac and that I should give up on the whole thing. Then I'd botch a conversation, realize I couldn't possibly not have Asperger's, and the whole cycle would start over. I'm glad I did eventually decide to get diagnosed; after the official dx I stopped questioning my AS.



bee33
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05 Oct 2010, 12:01 am

I still have doubts. even after an official diagnosis. In part it's because my diagnosis is merely "on the spectrum" with some AS traits and not others. I have such a difficult time that I know there is something fundamentally off with me, so I should be more sure of it, in my gut, that something is amiss.

But it's hard nevertheless not to wonder if I could somehow be trying harder, figuring out how to interact better somehow, but my situation is so limited. I don't have a job because I have chronic fatigue, I know very few people, so I have little opportunity to learn and to try things out. And the thought of getting myself into a new situation is terrifying, and then when I set my mind to doing something I find that I'm too tired to go out and do it. It's a constant, defeating cycle.

When I come here I read about problems that others have and that I don't have, and I feel guilty about it, and yet, at the same time. there are many here who function a lot better than I do. It feels a bit like we're all stuck in a leaky boat and we can't save each other.



buryuntime
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05 Oct 2010, 12:25 am

Not really. I've looked at things I've written from when I was a child, photos, and just looking at my history and current issues, and it's all classic aspie. I think there is probably a large difference however in people that were diagnosed 18+ and people like me in that regard -- it's probably more difficult to accept and for others to accept.