I'm not embarrassed - though I have no scanner . . . but here are some excerpts from it. I will refer to myself as Poppy:
Poppy was referred to the Adult Autism Team. It appears that her partner has some concerns about Poppy's behaviours. He observes that Poppy appears to view the world in a different way from the general populace, and that she feels emotions 'unusually'. Poppy is an intelligent and articulate individual who, however, has extreme difficulties in initiating and maintaining social relationships. She has had some very significant problems in sustaining paid employment. Whilst academically gifted, Poppy struggled at University, experiencing difficulties with the social aspects of her time there, as well as having difficulty taking instructions. There also appears to be some notable auditory and tactile sensitivities.
There is no evidence of diagnostically significant developmental delay in the first three years of Poppy's life. It appears that she was a bright child who reached or exceeded her developmental milestones.
There is significant evidence of problems with peer relationships. Poppy shows a marked indifference to her peers. If she finds herself in a situation where she has to interact with her peers (which she will not seek out, or enjoy) she responds in a passive manner. Furthermore, her emotional response to her peers is somewhat indifferent. She has a limited, very small group of friends, contact with whom is never initiated by herself. Poppy dislikes team/group games and can see no reason whatsoever to participate. This is indicative of her general disinclination to interact with others, and will have a knock-on effect in regards to social isolation and employment. The evidence gathered is of diagnostic significance.
Poppy has some observable and notable problems with socio-emotional reciprocity. There is clear evidence that she finds it extremely difficult to understand other people's points of view and their emotional states, to such an extent as to find it difficult to predict other people's reactions and responses. This often gives her cause to be baffled and confused with people and events in her life. She sees little or no reason to make social approaches to others. Poppy does not appear to grasp the importance of social politics in everyday interactions, and in fact states that they are of no importance. This has contributed substantially to her level of social isolation, though it should be noted that she appears content with this situation. Her difficulty in recognising other peoples' points of view, coupled with her logical and rational style of thinking often make it difficult for her to compromise with her partner, workmates or employees. She has a noticeable problems with understanding what she perceives as other people's irrational viewpoints, to such as level as to make it difficult to hold down paid employment, and which can place her in situations detrimental to her well being (for instance, her insistence on crossing an Orange March). She has great difficulty achieving compromises with others, which in concert with her attachment to routines and things being done in a certain way, compounds her problems. This evidence is of clear diagnostic significance.
There is clear evidence of a lack of ability to share the interests of others, though she makes attempts that perhaps can be viewed as cosmetic in nature. Poppy finds it problematic to vicariously experience the happiness of other people, including people she knows well. She finds sharing her interests with others difficult, and states that there is little reason to do so. This is clearly a contributory factor to Poppy's difficulties in interacting with others, and impedes her involvement in employment.
Poppy displays a marked adherence to the maintenance of sameness in her environment and a requirement for perfection in her possessions to a degree that is diagnostically meaningful. There is evidence of collecting objects (beads, lip balms) with little connection to their function. There is indication of a desire for sameness, especially in regards to ordering of books and CDs, which, if changed from her desired order, can cause distress. Poppy desires perfection in her possessions and will become 'sad' if they are broken or show signs of age. The evidence indicates a desire for sameness and predictability, which is required for Poppy to function effectively, and is diagnostically significant.
Poppy shows a marked adherence to non-functional routines, which allow her to cope with any stress and anxiety she may be experiencing. She follows strict routines in her daily life, for instance around bed-times and meals, and recognises that these routines 'calm' her. She relies strongly on these routines, and the predictability they offer, and and if they are not present, or have been altered, this will disturb her and make it difficult for her to function that day. Poppy will watch certain DVDs over and over, and states that she likes to know what is happening next, which again indicates and adherence to predictability. The levels and intensity of these routines are of a level to meet the diagnostic criterion.
Poppy evidences pre-occupation with non-functional properties of objects and sounds. She is often compelled to smell objects, and often impelled to seek out certain smells. She also displays a fascination with the sounds of certain words devoid of, and apart from, their meaning. (It should be noted that Poppy has an interest in language and appears to enjoy the discrepancies and vagaries of English).
It should also be noted that Poppy experiences a range of sensory issues, which although not diagnostically significant, are of importance to her and how she experiences life. There is evidence of vestibular and/or proprioceptive sensitivity (for instance Poppy can become dizzy in the shower) and very clear indication of sensitivity to touch - she dislikes light touch (disliking, for instance, the touch of clothes labels against her skin) and appears to seek out firm and heavy touch. She requires to be 'tucked in' very tightly when going to sleep, and may have to attend to this several times each night. There is clear indication of hypersensitivity to sound, in particular, bird noises and sudden noises.
Poppy met or exceeded the criteria in all areas based on information from childhood and adulthood. It is therefore appropriate to conclude that a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome has been met.
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"I'd go further - I'd say 'Life is wasted on . . . people.'"
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