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Have you ever said something you immediately realized wasn't appropriate to say
Yes, and I'm and aspie. 100%  100%  [ 16 ]
No, and I'm an aspie. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Yes, and I'm an NT. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
No, and I'm an NT. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 16

jdcnosse
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29 Jul 2010, 10:41 pm

I know that this is a problem that affects Aspies and NTs both, but I wonder how often have you accidentally said something that you knew you probably shouldn't have said, because it would hurt someone's feelings (depsite it being fact)?

The reason I say this is my girlfriend and I were joking around, and I ended up saying that after her first serious boyfriend dumped her, she got fat. 8O (I realized what I had said as soon as I said it...)

The problem is, this is first of all what she had told me (she had went on birth control as soon as she started dating him, and she also got very very depressed after him, and her antidepressants at the time made her feel always hungry). Second of all, as much as I don't think she is fat, she has gotten "larger" from the period in question. She has told me numerous times that she doesn't feel pretty because 3 years ago when she was 14, she weighed only 140lbs, and now at 17 she weighs 240lbs. I believe that she is quite gorgeous (I did before I met her) and that she isn't fat, however I would support her if she wanted to loose the weight.

So unfortunately I couldn't really explain that I was just stating a fact because she would take it as I believed that she was fat, when really I don't think she's fat but it is fact, she is larger than she used to be.



Ferdinand
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29 Jul 2010, 10:58 pm

Everyone says something stupid sometimes.



jdcnosse
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29 Jul 2010, 11:13 pm

I know, I was merely pointing to the fact that however I did make a mistake, but I knew that my logic wouldn't help me out in a situation like that, because it would only further the fact that I had said an insult to her.



Surya
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30 Jul 2010, 12:05 am

jdcnosse wrote:
1) The reason I say this is my girlfriend and I were joking around, and I ended up saying that after her first serious boyfriend dumped her, she got fat. 8O (I realized what I had said as soon as I said it...)

The problem is, this is first of all what she had told me (she had went on birth control as soon as she started dating him, and she also got very very depressed after him, and her antidepressants at the time made her feel always hungry).

2) Second of all, as much as I don't think she is fat, she has gotten "larger" from the period in question. She has told me numerous times that she doesn't feel pretty because 3 years ago when she was 14, she weighed only 140lbs, and now at 17 she weighs 240lbs. I believe that she is quite gorgeous (I did before I met her) and that she isn't fat, however I would support her if she wanted to loose the weight.

So unfortunately I couldn't really explain that I was just stating a fact because she would take it as I believed that she was fat, when really I don't think she's fat but it is fact, she is larger than she used to be.


Hi..
I couldn't vote sorry - not sure what I am (very good chance AS or alien), but I sure am not a NT if NT = Standard (my term)

But I do suffer greatly from perpetual hoof in mouth syndrome, I am female, I have been on anti-depressants and gained weight from some of them, on different ones now. So I do kind of understand what can happen with them.

That being said..
1) I would not beat yourself up about it to much. I would have not said her ex, but that the pills had (most likely) made her fat

2) You did not say if she is still on the pills, if she is maybe she can talk to her doctor about switching. She may not be fat, but large like you said - at 23 years old and 6'2 Arnold Shewarztenager (SP???) weighed 240 lbs - so it is possible to be that weight and not fat.
Either way, that is a lot of weight for a young girl, so she may want to look into it.

As for the other stuff, I hope you told her how you see her (she is quite gorgeous)

and yes, people can say the wrong things.. it happens



jdcnosse
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30 Jul 2010, 12:16 am

Surya wrote:
jdcnosse wrote:
1) The reason I say this is my girlfriend and I were joking around, and I ended up saying that after her first serious boyfriend dumped her, she got fat. 8O (I realized what I had said as soon as I said it...)

The problem is, this is first of all what she had told me (she had went on birth control as soon as she started dating him, and she also got very very depressed after him, and her antidepressants at the time made her feel always hungry).

2) Second of all, as much as I don't think she is fat, she has gotten "larger" from the period in question. She has told me numerous times that she doesn't feel pretty because 3 years ago when she was 14, she weighed only 140lbs, and now at 17 she weighs 240lbs. I believe that she is quite gorgeous (I did before I met her) and that she isn't fat, however I would support her if she wanted to loose the weight.

So unfortunately I couldn't really explain that I was just stating a fact because she would take it as I believed that she was fat, when really I don't think she's fat but it is fact, she is larger than she used to be.


Hi..
I couldn't vote sorry - not sure what I am (very good chance AS or alien), but I sure am not a NT if NT = Standard (my term)

But I do suffer greatly from perpetual hoof in mouth syndrome, I am female, I have been on anti-depressants and gained weight from some of them, on different ones now. So I do kind of understand what can happen with them.

That being said..
1) I would not beat yourself up about it to much. I would have not said her ex, but that the pills had (most likely) made her fat

2) You did not say if she is still on the pills, if she is maybe she can talk to her doctor about switching. She may not be fat, but large like you said - at 23 years old and 6'2 Arnold Shewarztenager (SP???) weighed 240 lbs - so it is possible to be that weight and not fat.
Either way, that is a lot of weight for a young girl, so she may want to look into it.

As for the other stuff, I hope you told her how you see her (she is quite gorgeous)

and yes, people can say the wrong things.. it happens


She is still on antidepressants, but different kind now. The ones she was on that made her gain the 100lbs in roughly a year were Paxil. She was then switched to Cymbalta which worked, but gave her nightmares. She was then finally given the diagnosis of OCD, GAD, Bipolar II Disorder, and Depression and she was put on Lamotrigine for the bipolar and Wellbutrin for the OCD/GAD/Depression. This combination seems to be working, but since she had 2 sets of meds before this, she thinks that none of the medicines will work, so I don't know if she takes them every day...

She's 17, 5'7" and roughly 240lbs. I believe according to the BMI calculator it would put her in the obese category. :/



Pistonhead
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30 Jul 2010, 12:17 am

Daily.


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Surya
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30 Jul 2010, 12:48 am

jdcnosse wrote:

She is still on antidepressants, but different kind now. The ones she was on that made her gain the 100lbs in roughly a year were Paxil. She was then switched to Cymbalta which worked, but gave her nightmares. She was then finally given the diagnosis of OCD, GAD, Bipolar II Disorder, and Depression and she was put on Lamotrigine for the bipolar and Wellbutrin for the OCD/GAD/Depression. This combination seems to be working, but since she had 2 sets of meds before this, she thinks that none of the medicines will work, so I don't know if she takes them every day...

She's 17, 5'7" and roughly 240lbs. I believe according to the BMI calculator it would put her in the obese category. :/


Tell her she is luck she has only been on 2 sets so far - some are not that lucky
Just with Bipolar I think I tried 6 or 7 before I was placed on what I am on now - been on it some while now.
From what I can remember neither Lamotrigine or Wellbutrin should have her gain any more weight - she may have also leveled out. I know I did when on different ones

Depending on how they check her, could be higher then obese.



jdcnosse
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30 Jul 2010, 12:54 am

Surya wrote:
jdcnosse wrote:

She is still on antidepressants, but different kind now. The ones she was on that made her gain the 100lbs in roughly a year were Paxil. She was then switched to Cymbalta which worked, but gave her nightmares. She was then finally given the diagnosis of OCD, GAD, Bipolar II Disorder, and Depression and she was put on Lamotrigine for the bipolar and Wellbutrin for the OCD/GAD/Depression. This combination seems to be working, but since she had 2 sets of meds before this, she thinks that none of the medicines will work, so I don't know if she takes them every day...

She's 17, 5'7" and roughly 240lbs. I believe according to the BMI calculator it would put her in the obese category. :/


Tell her she is luck she has only been on 2 sets so far - some are not that lucky
Just with Bipolar I think I tried 6 or 7 before I was placed on what I am on now - been on it some while now.
From what I can remember neither Lamotrigine or Wellbutrin should have her gain any more weight - she may have also leveled out. I know I did when on different ones

Depending on how they check her, could be higher then obese.


Yea, the Cymbalta they placed her on was also supposed to help her loose weight by curbing her appetite. But there were the nightmares, and then of course sexual side effects.

OH! I forgot, after they found out about the nightmares they had her on her anti-anxiety medicine, Klonopin, like 3 times a day. I was not happy about that due to the fact that the side effects/withdrawl from the anti-anxiety meds can outweight the benefits.

After I looked up both Lamotrigine and Wellbutrin I was excited because if they worked, she'd have very little side effects.