I'm tired of the disgruntled so-called men

Post Reply New Topic

I was a shy aspie and I missed out on relationships with girls that liked me as i was scared of being intimate, the thought of having to be touched, taking my clothes off etc was too much for me. Also, I was too shy to open conversations with women, and those women who approached me, i would flee from having sex with as i couldn't handle it - even though I liked them and I beat myelf up about these failures lots. It especially makes me feel bad when I talk to female friends who tell me how men come on to them, be forceful in asking them for sex, chat them up, and I just think how crap was I,,I didn't realise how utterly crap i was compared to normal guys as a teen. I have improved a lot now though and became more confident and brave which enabled me to have relationships.

However, I always blamed myself, I was not bitter toward women for this. I knew too well that many women liked me and would have had sex with me had i not flee from it. I just used to freeze up. It was my fault. I dont think I am a true aspie as when i get confidence and get over the fear people find me nice to talk to and my social skills are much better. I think i might be just someone pushed down by a crap shy childhood.

However in the early old days of WP I did used to complain a lot about some of the more able members and how easy they seemed to find it. there seemed to be a few people on the site then who were very social and spent a lot of time boasting about their full social lives and how many partners they had. Even when they complained about their crap relationships or nasty partners it seemed like everyone took it for granted that these people were more mature and serious than everyody else on the site and all became mods and lorded it over everyone and put down the immature men.

I found it unfair as I don't think AS men choose to be immature and annoying, I think their immaturity is thrust on them against their will by not being social enough to get friends and relationships. And I think if we are being fair, there are some immature aspie females out there too and it is not their fault either. Those clever mods had lots of relationships and a full social life, even if the relationships were bad due to their AS problems, they got to grow and become mature and wise through them. The crap aspies never have a chance to grow and become more mature by meeting more people and having friendships and relationships. There should be more sympathy either way from both groups, but that takes maturity and the ability to see life and different problems from someone else' point of view, which unfortunatly are both hard for aspies.

I myself am more mature than when I used to complain about that and have got to know aspies who have had relationships but are still a bit immature and crap, aspies who are celibate but are mature and wise and taken seriously by people, aspies including females who are shy like me and had the same problems as me. However for reasons above i dont think either side should put down or be jealous of the other. I had a relationship a few years ago when i was really depressed and worried about life and it did not help cure me as I thought it might. If anything it made it worse to handle a relationship when i was in a state of feeling bad about life.

Erm, do you feel like this all of the time?

I've tried to see what you are saying, however, I've never met a man that acts the way you describe.

I guess you are either looking for relationships which self destruct, or, you need to get out more.

I'm not trying to be mean to you.

Are you sure you have Aspergers?

You have mentioned 'men' as if the acts of one apply to all of them, while suggesting you don't like to be stereotyped.

You are not making any sense at all.

I'd suggest you make an appointment with your psychiatrist and show them your email - and pretty soon you'll find yourself tripping the light fantastic on the strongest anti depressants known to humanity.

Good luck and stay happy.

What a superb post. I feel no need to add anything to this thread now, because you've pretty much summed up how I feel about it.