Does sexual interest conflict with personal interest?

Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

JohnisBlind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 974

01 Aug 2010, 1:54 am

Is it possible to demonstrate an interest in a women as a person and at the same time show interest in her sexually? Or will those two things conflict?



crocus
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 352
Location: Canada

01 Aug 2010, 2:20 am

Yes and kind of yes.

I wouldn't say the sexual interest will conflict, but it does complicate things. It always does. The minute sexual interest is involved normal platonic interaction goes out the window.



JohnisBlind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 974

01 Aug 2010, 2:54 am

crocus wrote:
Yes and kind of yes.

I wouldn't say the sexual interest will conflict, but it does complicate things. It always does. The minute sexual interest is involved normal platonic interaction goes out the window.


Is there any way to mitigate that effect?



crocus
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 352
Location: Canada

01 Aug 2010, 3:12 am

JohnisBlind wrote:
Is there any way to mitigate that effect?


How easy it is to mitigate would be dependent on the person's sexual arousal level, how much self-awareness they have, discipline and maturity level.

It's impossible to not let sexual attraction influence how you relate to someone, but yeah, taking what I said above into account, I believe you can lessen the complication factor.

So say you meet someone and you get to know them. You really like them as a person and you're very attracted to them sexually. Everything then gets coloured by that sexual attraction. The key is to not let it run rampant, so you don't start acting like a fool. Realize that your hormones may make you do things that in the long run are not productive. Take your time and get to know the person, while realizing you don't need to impulsively follow every urge and whim your body is sending you.



JohnisBlind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 974

01 Aug 2010, 3:42 am

crocus wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:
Is there any way to mitigate that effect?


How easy it is to mitigate would be dependent on the person's sexual arousal level, how much self-awareness they have, discipline and maturity level.

It's impossible to not let sexual attraction influence how you relate to someone, but yeah, taking what I said above into account, I believe you can lessen the complication factor.

So say you meet someone and you get to know them. You really like them as a person and you're very attracted to them sexually. Everything then gets coloured by that sexual attraction. The key is to not let it run rampant, so you don't start acting like a fool. Realize that your hormones may make you do things that in the long run are not productive. Take your time and get to know the person, while realizing you don't need to impulsively follow every urge and whim your body is sending you.


Thank you....although my question was about how to interact with a girl by showing an interest with her as a person but also an interest in them romantically and sexually. How can I let them know that my interest in them as a person is not undermined by my interest in them sexually?



Seanmw
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jul 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,639
Location: Bremerton, WA

01 Aug 2010, 4:16 am

it's possible for them to conflict
& it's also possible for them to both be positive or negative


_________________
+Blog: http://itsdeeperthanyouknow.blogspot.com/
+"Beneath all chaos lies perfect order"


crocus
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 352
Location: Canada

01 Aug 2010, 4:33 am

JohnisBlind wrote:

Thank you....although my question was about how to interact with a girl by showing an interest with her as a person but also an interest in them romantically and sexually. How can I let them know that my interest in them as a person is not undermined by my interest in them sexually?




By not letting it. Your actions will speak for themselves.

When someone has a sexual interest as well as a personal interest in someone it is affected. Though, I wouldn't use the term "undermined".

Why do feel something is being undermined?

Just get to know her as a person and take your cues from her. Try to stop thinking about what you have to convince her of and project to her. Just BE with her.



JohnisBlind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 974

01 Aug 2010, 5:59 am

crocus wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:

Thank you....although my question was about how to interact with a girl by showing an interest with her as a person but also an interest in them romantically and sexually. How can I let them know that my interest in them as a person is not undermined by my interest in them sexually?




By not letting it. Your actions will speak for themselves.

When someone has a sexual interest as well as a personal interest in someone it is affected. Though, I wouldn't use the term "undermined".

Why do feel something is being undermined?

Just get to know her as a person and take your cues from her. Try to stop thinking about what you have to convince her of and project to her. Just BE with her.



Sounds fair. Thats what I want to be able to do. To Just BE with that person I feel attracted to. But at the same time not feel the need to hide the fact I am attracted to her.