Man annoyed by autistic child in restaurant attacks father.

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tcorrielus
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12 Aug 2010, 4:29 pm

The offender who attacked the autistic boy's father looks like a high school bully that just wants to torment you to death.



Horus
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12 Aug 2010, 4:34 pm

tcorrielus wrote:
The offender who attacked the autistic boy's father looks like a high school bully that just wants to torment you to death.



Yup....I hate to say it, but this guy looks like the stereotypical bullying a**hat.



Craig28
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12 Aug 2010, 4:36 pm

This happened in the United States. Perfect intolerance for other people considering where it happened.



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12 Aug 2010, 4:50 pm

Craig28 wrote:
This happened in the United States. Perfect intolerance for other people considering where it happened.





I can assure you there's probably millions of Americans as intolerant as this guy.



DW_a_mom
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12 Aug 2010, 10:13 pm

Anger management issues.

It was an Olive Garden. Family friendly. If the man wanted quiet, he should have picked a different place. There is no indication the child was acting severely out of line. I've run into a few adults with no patience for the presence of children anywhere, and it really is THEIR problem, not mine; I got yelled at on a mostly empty ferry, well outside of commute hours, because my daughter started crying ... as if she WANTED to be upset, and as if there weren't a 100 other seats he could have moved to. I was furious (although I just moved us and grumbled to the kids about rude people - what else is there to do?).

All that said, and knowing it does not seem to apply to the case at issue, I have no patience for parents who believe they have an absolute right to be with their kids anytime, anywhere, either. If my kids are being too noisy for the time and place, I take them outside. We talk all the time about "not disturbing the other customers." Once on vacation we walked into a restaurant and as soon as the host came to seat us, I told him I wasn't sure it was a good idea, that I had not realized what a lovely and quiet restaurant it was, and that I wasn't sure our two small children could be quiet enough. He told me he could find us a good spot and that he was sure it would be fine ... it was, phew! But, seriously, I think parents have a responsibility to avoid putting their kids - autistic or not - into inappropriate situations.


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Bethie
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15 Aug 2010, 5:25 pm

Certain people are sensitive about sound. I think those of us with sensory issues can empathize.

Not trying to defend the man's (appalling) actions, but I DO think that people have a right to simply enjoy a meal without being subjected to screaming.

8O


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16 Aug 2010, 3:59 pm

Entitlement topic

This jerk's me-only attitude that is typical nowadays often results in road rage, job rage (Steven Slater), shop rage and Eaterie rage, among others.

Another recent example I saw on my local news station was some woman who could not get her fix of chicken nucggets at an early hour on New Years Day, 2010, at a local fast foodie place so she broke a drive through window and punched a server, and only recently was convicted of assault and mischief.

It is getting harder to manage anger in a world that tells us we all have entitlements and we jealously guard them against others who would "take" them away, including a "noiseless" restaurant that we have somehow "paid" for. We take slights personally and we have become paranoid about rights. Paul Blankfield may have been a person who is used to getting his own way, and foolishly lost it. There may have been an element of racism which he will not admit to (and there is no evidence thus far), instead implying that Mr. Bennet somehow deserves an Autistic child. :roll: :evil:

Edit: Or, he could not bring himself to hit a little kid and took it out on the father, who perhaps could have "controlled" his child to Mr. Blankety-blank's satisfaction. :thumbdown:

The moral of the story? Take a breath before you inflict injury, or even death, on someone who is probably oblivious to your existence. :roll:


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16 Aug 2010, 6:17 pm

I am not on the bully's side at all. People claiming "Oh but people with autism post how they hate children screaming" at wrong planet also must not understand that not many people do at all.

This doesn't give him the right to hit the father and make belittling comments about the father getting what he deserved, an autistic child.

I highly doubt the bully was autistic. I've seen more and more frustration over kids in public from NT's too. Our society is just turning less kid friendly and on top of that if the child has autism, it gets worse!

Some of the most selfish hateful people I've come across hate autistics and if they hurt someone with autism they try to garnish sympathy for themselves!



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16 Aug 2010, 6:31 pm

I think the problem with todays society is "Kids should be seen, not heard" is going away and it's becomming more acceptable to let kids be loud and obnoxious. Back in the days, kids were made to be quiet. I am sure there are still people out there who have that rule.



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16 Aug 2010, 7:40 pm

This is a tough situation. I'm going to go out on a philosophical limb and say that I can understand both sides of the story. On the one hand, families with autistic children deserve to go out and enjoy the fruits of our cultural stew just as much as a family of NT's does. In family restaurants, you can be sure that there's going to be kids yelling and whatnot. It would be more appropriate at a McDonald's than at the Olive Garden, but I digress. Most families will tend to a screaming kid by removing them from the dining area and maybe getting them outside to calm down. Nobody objects to a child getting upset. What most people object to is when the kid continues to scream and carry on throughout the entire meal, and while the kid's parents completely tune it out, everybody else is uncomfortable and can't wait to leave. When that happens to me, I get annoyed and feel like I just paid a lot of money to eat right at the screaming kid's house. It almost feels invasive to me to have to put up with it past a certain point.

This can happen with NT children in which they're allowed to act however they want in public. Maybe I'm being an old lady here, but letting a child do whatever they want in a public place, and not teaching them proper social behavior, is not doing the kid any favors.

Having worked with autistic / mentally retarded individuals, I have seen way too many parents who let their autistic children go absolutely bonkers in public places. For the severely autistic, there really isn't much they can do about it. However, for lots of the autistics, and especially for aspies, it is entirely possible for them to be taught the proper way to behave around others in public. If they are unable to learn, perhaps the parent is amiss for making them be in a situation that they cannot handle, hence the bad behavior. I can understand a meltdown at the grocery store or Wal Mart, because sometimes the child has to go to the store with their caregiver, and sometimes it's too much. However, a restaurant meal is a luxury treat (don't believe me? Just look at your bill next time!), and people pay good money for these meals. Why, if you are the parents of an autistic child who cannot behave in public, would you put your child in such a situation? Perhaps waiting until the child is older and better able to handle social situations would be smarter than "forcing" them on a mostly unfriendly world.

With all that being said, there is NEVER a reason for violence in a case like this. The attacker should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. If the attacker had any brains, he would have talked it out with the manager of the restaurant and perhaps have gotten a free meal out of the situation. Instead, he acted like an irate gorilla who's banana was taken away.

As for the diners who said they "weren't bothered" by the child, maybe they weren't, or maybe they were, but felt that they had to stand up for the family who had been attacked. It is entirely possible that the attacker has psychological issues and took it out on the father of the autistic boy. Since I wasn't there, I'll have to go with what the news article said.



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17 Aug 2010, 12:30 am

A child with autism can be taught restaurant behavior with actually going to restaurants repeatedly and practicing. The father mentioned Olive Garden's hour where kids were more tolerated so he chose that time. There isn't much explanation of how long the child was making noise. There is no mention of "screaming" either.

The kids should be seen not heard? :lol:

Right as if all kids are prim and proper at all times and you as a child were too. Maybe in your mind but if I were to ask your parents and you are in fact autistic, they'd probably tell me about all of your meltdowns and all the rude responses from others!



DW_a_mom
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17 Aug 2010, 1:54 am

Bethie wrote:
Certain people are sensitive about sound. I think those of us with sensory issues can empathize.

Not trying to defend the man's (appalling) actions, but I DO think that people have a right to simply enjoy a meal without being subjected to screaming.

8O


Which is why, to a parent, there are clearly "quiet" restaurants, and "not quiet" restaurants. We avoid the former, and still try to keep our children relatively well behaved in the later.

We would assume that someone with sound sensitivities would frequent the former, and avoid the later. An Olive Garden is a boisterous place; I'm surprised that anyone wanting to avoid kids or have quiet would go there. It's like trying to demand quiet in a train station.

From the articles on this, btw, I do NOT get the impression the autistic child was screaming. Or, at least, not constantly ;) Most likely he was doing a verbal stim or clanking his silverware or something like that; common AS kid behavior.


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17 Aug 2010, 2:09 am

I don't even know what "making too much noise" means. What was he doing? Talking or making sounds with his mouth or blowing bubbles or moving around in it seat or playing with his silverware or tapping on his cup or table? Was he being a typical four year old? I think it's common for toddlers to make noise. Or could he have been crying?



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17 Aug 2010, 9:34 am

Horus wrote:
tcorrielus wrote:
The offender who attacked the autistic boy's father looks like a high school bully that just wants to torment you to death.



Yup....I hate to say it, but this guy looks like the stereotypical bullying a**hat.


He looks like one of the losers, that I had to deal with, in High School. I see a lot of those, around.


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