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CaptainTrips222
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13 Aug 2010, 12:17 am

This is hypothetical. I don't know that many, and the ones I've met have been alright. But what are the problems you've had with aspies, typically? I'll give you something to work with...

The problems I've experience with NTs are
- refusal to tolerate even the slightest difference
- shallowness
- taking advantage of people
- bullying


The problems I've experienced with people on the spectrum
- misinterpreting ideas like crazy
- stand offishness
- lack of interest in a lot of things

How about you?



Aimless
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13 Aug 2010, 5:42 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
This is hypothetical. I don't know that many, and the ones I've met have been alright. But what are the problems you've had with aspies, typically? I'll give you something to work with...

The problems I've experience with NTs are
- refusal to tolerate even the slightest difference
- shallowness
- taking advantage of people
- bullying


The problems I've experienced with people on the spectrum
- misinterpreting ideas like crazy
- stand offishness
- lack of interest in a lot of things

How about you?


I think it's hard to make assessments like those for either group. There's a lot of diversity in each. I think it's best to put the labels aside and just deal with each person individually. There are just too many variables.



Slayer_1425
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13 Aug 2010, 5:43 am

I've met only a few people with asperger's over the years, but - except one guy - I didn't really know them well enough to judge any asperger-related problems.

The guy with asperger's I hang around with, I can definitely notice his asperger's. Those traits are usually evident in his lack of facial expressions and him not giving eye contact, especially around strangers; his poor motor skills (he is exceptionally clumsy when it comes to, say, throwing a tennis ball or kicking a ball); and sometimes him continuously talking about a subject, to the point where I am no longer interested.

I wouldn't necessarily say they are "problems", apart from the occasional social awkwardness in him talking about something I don't care about.



Last edited by Slayer_1425 on 13 Aug 2010, 5:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

Pistonhead
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13 Aug 2010, 5:45 am

Half of the ones in the NT section I think apply to a fair number of aspies (in my limited experience, which is mostly based on family).


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CockneyRebel
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13 Aug 2010, 6:25 am

I try not to generalize, because no two people are the same, whether they're on the spectrum, or not.


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MONKEY
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13 Aug 2010, 6:47 am

Well, I have met lots of aspies but there was one I disliked. It wasn't because of his AS I don't think, but he was just a really dislikeable character, and he also had an annoying way of speaking and he constantly had a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.


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Keicko
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14 Aug 2010, 10:03 am

I met someone on the spectrum at work that every one hated and even I hated him at first because be would always talk to much about stuff no one really cared about and was really ego centric as well, but I eventually became friends with him because I was able to find some common grounds of interest with him such as talking about religion and music. So I guess shared obsessions was the key to us getting along.



Last edited by Keicko on 16 Aug 2010, 1:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Rayvn
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14 Aug 2010, 5:40 pm

Aspie, blaming me for things that they did wrong, getting mad at even screaming at me because of something they did to me that is really f****d up.

People who say they have "gotten over it" yet still ignore you or think there's something wrong with you when you ask them about the bad things about Aspies and how to deal with it and make a better relationship.

People who think that if you are really really really hurt by some stuff people are doing to you because they're Aspies and you're trying to make it better but no one who is an Aspie who might be able to help you does anything but get insulted at you for trying to make a better relationship with your friend.

Refusing to believe they have ever done anything bad, ever, even if they specifically say "I know I am an as*hole and I wish I wasn't and I wish I knew when I was being an as*hole so I could stop".

Not saying all Aspies are assholes. But some are (I mean due to the traits of the disorder).

Refusing to believe anyone could possibly think the least bit differently then they do, even though they know that that is exactly what Asperger's means in the first place. (Example: "How dare you be sad about that??!?!?!" Reply: "I wasn't sad I was just talking about it." Them: "That's impossible!! !!")

Requiring everyone to be 100% perfectly polite all the time 100% of three time and requiring other people to never experience ever negative emotions, ever. (Same 2 Aspies I know of, that don't do this.. )

Not willing to listen to non-Aspies OR people who are Aspies but have a better understanding of what's "normal", telling them that such-and-such is normal and so-and-so was not being an as*hole when they did this, even though they know they are an Aspie and you probably anyway, but a lot. know more about how conversations usually work, they still just yell and scream at you. Some peop

Anyone who sees this post as insulting especially considering it is not talking abut you specifically because maybe you specifically don't so any of these things. Anyone who gets mad about this post is doing #3.

"Regular people" (NT is a horrible term because it implies there is a such thing) are much more diverse in thinking then Aspies are, after all you cannot be an Aspie in the first place unless you think in certian ways. So anything said about 'NT' in most cases can't really be "stereotypical" or "apply to a lot of them/most of them" because it applies only to people who do it that way which are not most of them.

Only thing I can think of there is making fun of people, caring what kind of clothes you wear, etc. But that applies to "assholes" not "non-Aspies" 'cause there are plenty of non-Aspies who aren't that f*****g disgusting of a human being that they would do that stuff.

Or refusing to let you sit on the floor in any position you want, refusing to shut up when they are too loud for no reason, expecting everybody to be exactly the same a sheep, talking about annoying things like "Oh gee it's hot out today" while you are checking out your groceries, etc.

The last paragraph applies to "normal people". I hate "normal people", they are extremely boring and prejudiced against just about everything to some degree. And even the ones who aren't bullies still care about what clothes you wear.



League_Girl
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15 Aug 2010, 1:22 am

I have disliked quite a few aspies. I have been bullied by some and a few have expected me to be like an NT and I have seen ones who were jerks. I have also seen aspies being judgmental and intolerant and singling out people who are different.

Pretty much NTs do aspies have done too because they're human.



Jessi_in_wonderland
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15 Aug 2010, 4:01 pm

The ones who don't like talking with and having friends would find my calling/questions annoying. I don't like the "quiet ones who will snitch on you." I've experienced two of these at the special ed. school I'd been sent to. I don't like being snitched on for silly reasons, like kissing a boy on the bus and writing little love messages in sidewalk chalk.



chessimprov
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16 Aug 2010, 12:54 am

There was once a self-diagnosed person who asked people in a group to volunteer. I was the first to volunteer 2 months in advance approximately and he confirmed. Later on, another volunteer was put over me after me asking several times about how we could meet so that I could volunteer. Also, he said that he could not fit me in because of his schedule (not considering my schedule or letting me speak for myself) and could not get me a spot because he could only take in 1 volunteer. I was insulted and disgusted. I mean, sure I know that aspie qualities can affect how people act, but when you can function so much that you can run a group and network a lot, I know that this person knows better and just for whatever reason did not like me. :(



Laz
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16 Aug 2010, 2:03 am

When I was in a London based charity there was a chairman with AS (amongst other alleged conditions) who was a devout orthodox christian. He was openly homophobic, anti-semetic and contradicted our own equal rights and LGBT policies by openly voicing his opinions publically. He tried to widen the remit of the organisation to include us in the mental health rights movement as well as the disability rights movement. He dressed up like a boy scout but was in his early 40's. He was an obnoxious hardline autocrat with a hitler complex.

I think he singlehandedly managed to piss off the entire AS population of London. I gotta hand it to him he has form for seriously pissing people off. :lol:



Teung
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17 Aug 2010, 3:41 pm

The majority of the Aspies I've met throughout my life have been people that I dislike. Now don't get me wrong, it's not their ASD that's the problem; I've just never been able to get along with a lot of them. There are some Aspies out there who are cool and fun to be around, but I guess I might be meeting the wrong people or I'm just plain unlucky...



Miyah
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18 Aug 2010, 5:20 am

The things that I tend to dislike about Aspies are the fact that I am on the spectrum and I try to be myself and some of them reject me like a plague because I am too annoying or talk about irrelevant subjects. I also hate the limited interests part because you can't ever get a chance to get to know them.



Thellie
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18 Aug 2010, 5:52 am

I strongly disliked my friend back when we got to know eachother. He had a tendency to interupt me when speaking, I had the constant feeling that whatever he had to say was more vital than what I had to say. He also told me what to do and how to do things better, and Im of the "if it aint broken, dont fix it" kinda people. There was alot of crashes there. Mny situations involved me feeling utterly ignored - when reality was that he was listening intently. For some weird reason we got past this stage and onto the stage where I learned more about him and all his wonderfully confusing quirks, and he.. got used to me.

Ended with us becoming best of friends, I dont know why. Maybe me having some disturbing high patience level entwined with him enjoying my company that kept us at it.


Some things was near becoming the end of us becoming closer at all..


And I do blame his AS traits. For instance, when texting him on the phone he would never answer me, unless I asked a question. After a month of teeth grinding he explained that he sees no point in wasting a text on replying "ok" to a statement. Whereas I explained that I enjoy the feedback that he has - in fact READ it.

Ex.

SMS: Can you pick up some tomatoes from the store?
Answer: Sure, how many?
SMS: 3 is good.

SMS: Pick up 3 tomtatoes while you're at the store please.
No answer.

Just an example. I could text him joyfully about getting a raise. And not get a reply. To me it seemed douchy to not grats me and not confirm or comment on things. To him, it was unnatural to answer unless asked to. We solved it by me thinking wickedly of ways to text him which made us both happy. :P Like the tomtates above. Adding question marks seemed to do the trick.


MSN/Facebook chat:
Banter is not his strong point. Esp not if distracted by his personal intrest. This being often. He is the best of listeners sometimes and the worst at other times. If it werent for the fact that I learned to not get persoanlly insulted and feel ignored each time he - well, ignores me - it would not have ended too well.
Not getting feedback is annoying, but I'll live.


Socialising in person:
- Im a chatty, outgoing, cheerful person. I like people, I am expressive, I use alot of sarcasm and body language and can be rather dramatic in my behaviour. I confused the hell out of him. He confuses me by not working the way I "want him to". Not responding the way I expect, not havind bodylanguage I can read (stimmy behaviour I thought was nerves. Seemed he was quite relaxed).
Slutions: We both have to realise we're talking different languages and behave like tourists. Speak slowly, loudly and ask for another beer. Stop hinting and say things straight - applies for us both.

All in all, I think - even though Im convinced Im a sweet and nice girl - if I was introduced to him in person without us realising our common grounds, I would have disliked him. I would have felt he was a douche and arrogant, self centered and ignoring me when it suited him.

...thank god I met him online, didnt even know much about AS until we had known eachother a year... :P

I know its not quite on topic, but the language confusions between me and him are like different species at times.


Kinda like cats and dogs. I heard that a cat rolling to his back is ready for fight, all claws free. When a dog rolls over on his back he is submissive. It sometimes feels like that.