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strange_fire
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07 May 2006, 12:32 pm

My partner and I have been together for a year and a half. There have been countless times when she has told me I took her words out of context, took her too literally, etc. I know that I have caught myself paying more attention to her words than her tone of voice (for example, if she's joking around with me), or vice versa.

This issue is something that I know greatly frustrates her, and it frustrates me as well. Have any of you dealt with this? How can we make things better?


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ELLCIM
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07 May 2006, 12:37 pm

strange_fire wrote:
My partner and I have been together for a year and a half. There have been countless times when she has told me I took her words out of context, took her too literally, etc. I know that I have caught myself paying more attention to her words than her tone of voice (for example, if she's joking around with me), or vice versa.

This issue is something that I know greatly frustrates her, and it frustrates me as well. Have any of you dealt with this? How can we make things better?


Does she understand Asperger's?



strange_fire
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07 May 2006, 12:39 pm

Not really, because I am just learning about it myself. We had a short discussion about it last night, how I do tend to take things too literally and that is a trait of AS, and she said she would try to explain herself better, etc.



beentheredonethat
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07 May 2006, 1:09 pm

You've got a problem.

For example, one aspi I knew said she didn't understand why people thought it was funny when her brother said in conversation "I'll kill you," and why they were scared of her when she jumped out from behind a door with a knife in her hand saying the same thing. She didn't understand context, which is an aspi trait.

It takes a lot of work, on both your parts. Most of the time, the NT has to be very specific, and the Aspi has to be very careful. My wife is an NT, I'm an aspie. There is hope. We've been together for 18 years.

Good luck.