Telling my family about AS (plz move if in wng spt)

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kiwigoddess
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16 Aug 2010, 11:46 pm

hello WP. I have a question to ask you.

How did you tell your family about your "spectrum disorder" If they didint already know. and how did they react.

I really feel like I should tell my (adoptive) parents that I suspect that I have AS. I know that this is a bad Idea, and will only create another topic of agression for them. But there is a chance, that they might feel the relief I did when I found out about aspergers. Ive been miss- diagnosed all sorts of things throughout my life. My adoptive parrents attempt to fix what was "wrong" with their little girl. They never found a treatment or a diagnosis that fit. Our relationship is somewhat non-existant (it was never close , I spent most of my childhood ignored and shipped off to different places) They live downstate and I only see them once a month when they come up to see the grandkids. they have never been supportive of me, and I dont expect them to be (not that it wouldnt be a nice surprise). but my Dad was recently Diagnosed with severe Cancer (and I dont get the feeling he is going to be a survivor). And I feel like I should tell him before he dies, that the reason I was so "weird" wasnt all his fault, or anyones fault. I was just born "weird". I have no idea how he would take that. I am almost 30 now, with 2 kinds of my own. I cant see a logical benifit to telling them about my AS. ....so why do I want to do it so badly?

did any of you tell someone about your "disorder" that you knew would be unsuportive? what happened?



buryuntime
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17 Aug 2010, 12:12 am

Who cares if they are not supportive of it? Personally I would not mention the word AUTISM or ASPERGER'S to them. I would just give a general overview of it first, and how you fit in and see what they say. Some people react really badly when autism is brought up. Maybe just call it a neurological disorder you're born with blah blah blah, does this sound like a good idea to anyone who did tell their parents?



CockneyRebel
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17 Aug 2010, 12:36 am

I agree about not mentioning those two words. There are already enough negative conotations, to those two words.


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DogDaySunrise
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17 Aug 2010, 7:05 am

This is something I'd be enormously interested in as well - since identifying a large number of aspie traits in myself, I've started noticing some in my parents; they're getting on though (my dad will be 70 next year) and I don't know that it's something they'd want to know about lol. I'd love to be able to discuss my own traits with them, if only for more insight into my own childhood and their thoughts, but short of sending an old girlfriend over to casually slip a comment about how weird their son is into conversation I haven't the faintest idea where to start...!



StuartN
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18 Aug 2010, 4:25 pm

I would tell them, and use the same terms as you were diagnosed with (i.e. say autism or Asperger's, because it is nothing to be ashamed of). A leaflet or small book about your diagnosis might be helpful because you will probably have to tell them, leave them to think about it and then tell them a second time.

I am 46 and I think it has helped my relationship with my parents, which has always been formal and reserved. My mother was very resistant, but both I think have seen how it explains loads of different and sometimes difficult things over the years.