I wish I could wake up and this would all be a dream

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The parallel world of fear, the depression, the anxiety, the isolation. I know there is great potential buried under all that, sometimes my aspergers seems like a scary inconvenience, a curse. My brain often feels like it is on fire. 29, single, lonely, exhausting all resources to keep up this charade. Working to pay the bills, thousands of dollars of medical bills from my challenges. Reality is blurred, people say I am doing great, but I feel one stressful event from going belly up. Can I just experience one day and see the world through the eyes of my typical peers? Everyday is a struggle, and it is wearing me down.

I'm not sure the charade is worth it.

It's not worth it! I'm going to make it as an autistic person, or not at all. Being neurotic and frightened to be oneself is not the way I want to live.

I'm 27 and living on welfare, but I'm also going to school and hoping to make my own way, on my own terms. Faking normal is near-impossible and no good for anybody who isn't already awfully close to normal to begin with.

...

^
Same here. It was a huge shock for me to find out - sometimes many years later - what others thought about situations in which I imagined I did a great job dissimulating and fitting in. Quite embarrassing

How about medium disclosure, 'Oh, I can be pretty much of a nerd. I can be pretty intense about my own topics'

on the theory that it's about engagement with other people and with the world, not about conformity

(in fact, the above might be heavier-duty coming out than you need. You might be able to think of something briefer, that's just a single sentence)

Yeah, I get carried away. I just zero in on a topic and want to talk and talk, but it is more like meaningless babble since I am a visual thinker and I am trying to analyze in words. I feel a compulsion to talk much more about this special topic or interest on my mind. Our special interests just sneak into our minds and we are not aware that we a "stuck".

Maybe we will one day.

I was diagnosed later in life (51) and have always been different and people realized and commented on it, but I have still found acceptance, respect and friendship. We don't have to pretend to be normal, but I do feel that learning some social skills and always trying to better ourselves i.e. learning new skills is not a bad thing and doesn't mean that you are pretending.
I work in an IT area presently and I've found that my analytical Aspie traits have really helped me succeed in my job and obtain promotions and recognition. When I divulged my diagnosis to a few of the people who work the closest with me, they were very supportive, one of them said they "wanted to have something also". They help out when other people who don't know me well come around, today is a good example, I was totally engrossed in a task and someone came up behind me and tried to get my attention. One of my co-workers explained that I could totally concentrate and block everything else out and then showed them how to get my attention.
For me, life has continued to get better as I get older. Hang in there.

I have no illusions about this, as I am in my 40s and still do not fit in. However, with my financial support and my artwork going well, I feel a tad more optimistic. It is just the social situation that is a disaster, so I stay alone most of the time, which I am very used to by now.

And political activism, in ways that resonate with us, in ways that feel good and flowing, and not as dry obligation, but as something we want to do.

For example, we can start Aspie-friendly businesses, which is difficult (new businesses have an 80% failure rate), where we're going to hire both Aspie and non-Aspie employees and build bridges, and play to strength, and really have a diverse work force, and hopefully the advantages of this will outweigh the disadvantages, but of course there are no guarantees.

Also, we can tap into funding, and write grants and so forth and that takes some time, for self-advocacy, for self-directed groups. In different cities we can meet once a week, we can do activities, publish magazines, keep up web sites, and one just never knows. And of course it will be fits and starts and not everything will work out, but some of it will.

I have patchy social skills. I suspect most of us probably do.