Page 1 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Rosennoir
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 123

05 Sep 2010, 3:09 pm

Since childhood I have been plagued by underestimation. In seventh grade my science teacher accused me of plagiarism for using words in a research paper she'd never heard me or any of her other students say before. I was failed. In eighth grade, I was accused of plagiarism on a paper on George Washington. I was made to rewrite the paper in front of my teacher who, when I was finished, only said "I wish I could type that fast". I received a C.

I have a high vocabulary. I regularly use big words. It's just normal. I tend to speak in the way that I type and sometimes in monotone.

I have very lofty political goals that I more or less like to "Flaunt"; but how can one not be taken as "Showing off" when describing intricately how one thinks?

Even my best friend Laurel said I have a big ego and have to "Tune it down a bit- it's a major turnoff". I don't understand.

Could people feel this way about me because they PERCEIVE that I'm trying to act superior; and is their perception possibly influenced because THEY THEMSELVES have an inferiority complex? Or am I really an arrogant egoistical douche?



Laz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Dec 2005
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,540
Location: Dave's Toilet

05 Sep 2010, 3:19 pm

Join the club.

Their all wankers anyway



KaiG
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,045
Location: Berkshire, UK.

05 Sep 2010, 3:25 pm

It's kind of difficult to say without knowing you in person. I do think that Aspies are often perceived as arrogant or aloof, though. At least by people who don't know them well.

As for the plagiarism accusations, it sounds like you were just too advanced for your school. Hopefully now that you're older you won't have as many problems in that regard.


_________________
If songs were lines in a conversation, the situation would be fine.


Rosennoir
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 123

05 Sep 2010, 3:34 pm

Ironically the last person to call me arrogant was a fellow aspie who I thought I was best friends with- Laurel.



KaiG
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,045
Location: Berkshire, UK.

05 Sep 2010, 3:41 pm

Well, maybe you should turn it down a bit then. Even if you're not trying to be arrogant, if people perceive you that way the effect is the same.


_________________
If songs were lines in a conversation, the situation would be fine.


agmoie
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 8 Aug 2005
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 333
Location: Britain

05 Sep 2010, 7:33 pm

Don`t worry about it-NTs are jealous,selfish,gossipping,back stabbing a***holes. :D



Helixstein
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,744
Location: New Zealand

06 Sep 2010, 12:56 am

I hope I have a rich vocabulary. I usually only use extensive words whilst writing though, otherwise others mimic me, and also I abstain talking as I am too shy.

On a somewhat relevant note - Is the above paragraph typical of a 13 year old?


_________________
"We accept the love we think we deserve."


astaut
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,777
Location: Southeast US

07 Sep 2010, 1:31 pm

I've been told the same thing--that I'm rude, conceited, condescending, etc. If I knew a way to 'tone it down' I probably would, but I don't know how. If people are only saying this because you use big words, then I would ignore it. A problem I have that makes me seem like a know-it-all is I feel the need to correct people and I'm trying to work on that, but not doing very well :roll: I would try to notice if you do the same thing.


_________________
After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.
--Spock


Justifine
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 19

08 Sep 2010, 12:34 am

Perhaps it's an issue of non-reciprocity. I am an NT and dated someone with inattentive ADD & Aspergers. I found him to be condescending and arrogant much of the time. What I mean by that specifically is that he, like myself, was college-educated and very knowledgeable about many areas. Only the difference was, if you were having a discussion or intellectual debate, he always felt his opinion and knowledge was always accurate and would never be open to seeing another person's point of view or even listening to an opposing viewpoint without automatically shooting it down. I wouldn't even say he listened, he would just tune you out if there was any difference of opinion. It never felt like a mutual dual conversation but rather an 'I'm wrong and you're wrong so anyway...' type of scenario. I agree, if others are saying the same thing, there must be something in your approach that is alienating. Find out what it is and try not to do it, whether you are arrogant or not, if people consistently perceive that you are, it's something you should take note of and make adjustments when necessary. It probably has nothing to do with your knowledge but rather how you present it and your openness to listening to other people.



deadeyexx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Sep 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 758

08 Sep 2010, 7:44 am

I catch myself talking too intellectual and serious all the time. Most other people just see me as some distant philosopher and not really part of the group. I'm working on that.

You do have to hold back when talking to people not on your level. You are being an arrogant jerk if you continue flaunting your intellect when you know your audience can't keep up.



Claire_Louise
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2010
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 99
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

08 Sep 2010, 5:19 pm

Everyone knows me as "egotistical" and "arrogant" - it gets a bit annoying when I'm trying my best to be supportive, sociable, etc when I'm bored and want to do something else.
I don't know which parts of me seem egotistical, and how I can stop it.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,554
Location: Stalag 13

09 Sep 2010, 10:35 pm

There was a time, when I was seen that way, in my teens. It really annoyed me. I tried my best to be supportive and understanding, but my peers didn't see it, that way.


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


tomhead
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 87
Location: Jackson, Mississippi

10 Sep 2010, 1:47 am

I am (very) egotistical and (mildly) arrogant. They're flaws, but not especially bad ones.


Cheers,

TH



TechnicalPacifist
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jun 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 606
Location: Bohuslän

10 Sep 2010, 9:34 am

I'd probably be perceived the same way, if not for the fact that I am constantly emphasising my incompetence at pretty much everything.



hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

11 Sep 2010, 2:11 pm

Helixstein wrote:
I hope I have a rich vocabulary. I usually only use extensive words whilst writing though, otherwise others mimic me, and also I abstain talking as I am too shy.

On a somewhat relevant note - Is the above paragraph typical of a 13 year old?
nope i'd say it is advanced, in my opinion (i was a teacher). i like your use of 'whilst' are you british, or just a stickler for correct grammar?


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


Synecdoche
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 261

12 Sep 2010, 9:22 am

While you're traveling through that narrow, linear time frame called life, let the world come to you as you approach it.

People will hate you because they can't label you, so it frustrates them. They'll punish your existence in exchange of their own incompetence.