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A_Spock_Darkly
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06 Sep 2010, 1:23 pm

Prelimenaries:

Proper Unwavering Eye Contact
Dressed In A Socially Acceptable Manner
Proper Body Language

Go Out
Find Girl
Approach Girl (from front or diagonal front, so she can see you coming. You don't want to sneak up on women, that's just creepy).

"Hey. I had to come over for a minute and introduce myself. I feel like meeting a gorgeous girl today."

Say First And Last Name
Present Hand For Her to Shake (make her be the first to terminate the physical contact)

Anyone ever tried anything like this? I haven't, but I do want to experiment with direct approaches when I next go shopping at a supermarket (best place to meet girls, IMO).


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Last edited by A_Spock_Darkly on 06 Sep 2010, 1:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

emlion
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06 Sep 2010, 1:25 pm

Don't do a handshake. That's a little unusual.
I personally love the direct approach.



A_Spock_Darkly
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06 Sep 2010, 1:27 pm

Handshakes are great for that initial kino (kino = touch).


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emlion
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06 Sep 2010, 1:28 pm

If a man went to shake my hand like that i'd shy away and not want to talk to him.
It seems overly formal and intimidating, to me.



A_Spock_Darkly
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06 Sep 2010, 1:31 pm

You're an exception, not the rule. Perhaps it's the eye contact and body language backing me up when I go in for a handshake, but I've had a lot of luck with it. Quick physical contact allows for easier escalation (handshake -> hug -> holding hands -> rubbing arm/shoulder -> kiss).


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emlion
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06 Sep 2010, 1:44 pm

I disagree. I know many girls who just get embarrassed when people go to shake their hands.
I'd much more prefer a pat on the arm or something, or for someone to not touch me at all.

But the direct approach in itself is definitely a fantastic idea. I love it when guys take control and just say what they want without being shy. :)



ProfessorCrow
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06 Sep 2010, 2:20 pm

Er. I'd think someone would be more uncomfortable if a stranger were to approach them and pat their arm, like a cooing mother hen, rather than offer a friendly handshake.

Sure, there can be no physical contact at all, but for most NT's that already makes it awkward. Their hands will fold over their chest or to their lap and their fingers will interlace and separate.

-Crow



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06 Sep 2010, 2:25 pm

The direct approach sounds like something guys at bars do when they are trying have a one night stand


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Moog
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06 Sep 2010, 2:29 pm

A_Spock_Darkly wrote:
Handshakes are great for that initial kino (kino = touch).


Yeah, it's true it gets a touch bond going early, but it's too weird in this context. Not saying it couldn't work, but I'd rather not.


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Janissy
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06 Sep 2010, 3:33 pm

A_Spock_Darkly wrote:
Prelimenaries:

Proper Unwavering Eye Contact
Dressed In A Socially Acceptable Manner
Proper Body Language

Go Out
Find Girl
Approach Girl (from front or diagonal front, so she can see you coming. You don't want to sneak up on women, that's just creepy).

"Hey. I had to come over for a minute and introduce myself. I feel like meeting a gorgeous girl today."

Say First And Last Name
Present Hand For Her to Shake (make her be the first to terminate the physical contact)

Anyone ever tried anything like this? I haven't, but I do want to experiment with direct approaches when I next go shopping at a supermarket (best place to meet girls, IMO).


This really doesn't sound like a good idea. The whole "you are so pretty I just had to say hi" approach is such an ancient cliche that by now I think girls are born knowing it- inheriting the knowledge that it is a lame pickup line directly from their mom's DNA. Shaking hands with an absolute stranger is also not good. There has to be a pretext. "You are pretty" is not a pretext.

When I was in my 20's and 30's, men did try to pick me up in the grocery store. But they would always invent at least a somewhat plausible pretext. Asking for food purchase recommendations is a much better conversation starter than any variation on "you are pretty".

Variations on "you are pretty" are your worst possible option for a conversation starter. If you want to be direct, you start some small talk about something going on around you- purchase reommendations if you are in a store, for example. No small talk is possible when the topic of conversation is how pretty you think a girl is. What could she possibly say to that except "thanks". And that's all she'll say. She'll say, "thanks" and move quickly away from you. A true small talk convversation must be about something she can talk about.



kiwigoddess
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06 Sep 2010, 4:40 pm

Prelimenaries:

Proper Unwavering Eye Contact (ok, this is good, but skip the unwavering part, if your staring at her, she is going to think that there is something wrong with you, feel free to break your gaze a bit, (and dont stare at her breasts).
Dressed In A Socially Acceptable Manner (yes, but dont dress like your going to an interview :) just wear something moderatly clean with un offensive writing, better yet, wear something that could be a good conversation starter, )
Proper Body Language (how do you difine?)

Go Out
Find Girl
Approach Girl (from front or diagonal front, so she can see you coming. You don't want to sneak up on women, that's just creepy).

"Hey. I had to come over for a minute and introduce myself. I feel like meeting a gorgeous girl today." (<<<Do not do this!! ! girls hate "lines", when you say something like this to a girl, what she really hears is "hello, I have no confidence or interest in you as a person, and I would like to take you home and treat you like an object)

Say First And Last Name
(scratch the last name part, too formal)
Present Hand For Her to Shake (make her be the first to terminate the physical contact)

dont do a handshake. If she wants to touch you, she will, If she does its a clear signal that she is interested. If you shake her hand first, you are establishing yourself as a friend/buisness contact and nothing more.

Anyone ever tried anything like this? I haven't, but I do want to experiment with direct approaches when I next go shopping at a supermarket (best place to meet girls, IMO). (no it isnt. do not aproach a girl if she is busy doing something. EVER! unless you have a REASON to be talking to her. (aka you know her already).) If you want to meet a girl, you have to go where there is a relaxed enviroment, where girls are more comfortable with being aproached.

I am a girl. I hate guys who do things like that. If you want a girl to talk to you, just say hi (OMG LISTEN to what she has to say,) and follow the conversation thus wise. Trying to manipulate a girl into ANYTHING is a very bad Idea. I'm Horrible at reading people, but I can spot a skeeze a mile away without problems. Just be yourself. Say hi, strike up a conversation. If she is into you, good, If not, move on. You will eventualy find somone you can be honest with, instead of a research subject.



A_Spock_Darkly
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06 Sep 2010, 4:46 pm

What women say they'll respond to, and what they actually DO respond to, are two entirely different things. If you're a guy, never look to women for dating advice. If you're a girl, never look to guys for dating advice.

Nonetheless, thank you both for taking the time to share your thoughts on the matter.


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kiwigoddess
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06 Sep 2010, 5:18 pm

then don't ask for advice/opinions if your don't want them



nick007
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06 Sep 2010, 6:00 pm

A_Spock_Darkly wrote:
What women say they'll respond to, and what they actually DO respond to, are two entirely different things. If you're a guy, never look to women for dating advice. If you're a girl, never look to guys for dating advice.

Nonetheless, thank you both for taking the time to share your thoughts on the matter.


+1


kiwigoddess wrote:
then don't ask for advice/opinions if your don't want them


I think what A_Spock_Darkly was wanting to talk about how to approach the opposite sex & how they respond instead of how you respond when the opposite sex approaches you


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Oh, you can't help that, said the Cat: we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
How do you know I'm mad? said Alice.
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06 Sep 2010, 6:02 pm

Knowing me, I'd probably be intimidated by this approach. That may be because I'm not used to getting attention from the opposite sex so if someone were to come on that strong, I'd assume that their motives are purely sexual. D:



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06 Sep 2010, 6:54 pm

for me, the touching is a nonononoNO! in a professional environment, if i absolutely must do so i will shake hands, but on first meeting in a casual environment... in theory it would kill a guy's chances with me. absolutely.

even if a woman touches me on first meeting, in a supposedly friendly way, it will not wash with me.

once i get to know a person, it is different. but i value my space. on our first date, before we had any contact of any kind, my husband asked me if he could kiss me. that was really really considerate and sexy.


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